


Avengers One-Shots

by CaityBrooklynnn



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Fun, Original Character(s), Reader-Insert, Romance, Super Soldier Serum, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 61,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25162618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaityBrooklynnn/pseuds/CaityBrooklynnn
Summary: Here's a collection of things I've written about one of my favourite franchises. I do take requests, if you could leave them as comments or DM them to me if you want them written faster.I don't own it (unfortunately) but I'm sure that's obvious.Warnings:- Yes, there will be swearing, even from our favourite Captain.- Fluff will happen, but I want to keep this book smut-free.If you're interested in some Avengers smut from me, leave me a comment or Kudos on this work and I'll get onto that :)The plots - other than lines out of the movies - will be mine but that's the only thing I own.- Caity B x
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Trial by Combat

**Author's Note:**

> [y/n] = your name  
> [y/l/n] = your last name  
> [y/n/n] = your nickname

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers x Reader
> 
> Also, yes I know this isn't great, but bear with me a little - I promise it gets better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: a little swearing and violence

I was hiding out in a derelict building in the middle of some farmland. No-one bothered me and I liked that.

It gave me time to think. Time to learn to control my powers. Time to put in some just-in-case measures. At this time I had total control of most of my powers but no way to shut off the telepathy.

I remember the time being around 2 am and I was going to move somewhere new. I was finally ready to get back to the world. I was finally in control of my powers. Then as I walk out the front doorframe - there was no door left - I saw the Quinjet.

Avengers.

SHIELD.

Crap.

I heard their talking and by the sounds of it, everyone was there. Even Dr Banner. But no Thor or Vision.

I decided I might as well face them. They might not be here to cart me back to SHIELD.

Fat chance.

"Are you Miss [y/l/n]?" Captain America called out. I shrugged.

"What's it to you?" I replied.

"Nick Fury ..." Stark began and I cut him off laughing. He looked confusedly around at everyone. I stopped my laughter and let him continue. "Thinks that you'd be a suitable candidate for the Avengers."

I did not expect that. At all.

"Did he tell you why he thinks that?" I ask to no-one in particular.

"All we got from him was to find you and get you to talk to us," Dr Banner stated. He was very formal in his tone.

I slowly walked towards them, dropping my battered backpack on the grassy floor.

"Well, I say no thanks." They all looked momentarily stunned. I don't think anyone else would turn this offer down but they met the one girl who would.

"See, the thing is, I'm no hero. Never will be. You don't need a freak-show like me on your 'perfect' team. I'd only fuck up your little system. Captain America, always right. Iron Man, the money behind it all. Bruce Banner aka Hulk the guy that's too smart for his own good. Hawkeye, the Robin Hood of 21st century. Black Widow the assassin turned spy. Wanda Maximoff telekinetic experiment. Your missing Thor, the God of Thunder and Vision, the AI that could have destroyed the world. Great team. So, no thanks and bye bye." I turn around and go to walk off when a metallic hand grasps my arm.

"You aren't leaving that easy. If you don't want in, fine. But you insult my team again and you're done. Oh, and you said a bad language word." I saw Captain America roll his eyes at Stark's final line.

"Shame, I was about to go on to say that you should start choosing not to create world-destroying robots but something else slipped my tongue. Get that stupid hand off my arm or you'll regret it." My voice was low and threatening. He didn't move.

"Okay then." I began heating up my arm to the point it would melt the metal suit. I smirked at his obvious growing discomfort. The red fingers had begun to melt and liquid ran down my arm - he really wasn't expecting this to happen when he took this mission. I winked at him then pushed him back.

A made a little red star with the fire and blew it towards Captain America. He seemed surprised. I guess you would be. I suddenly made the wind really fast, making them all lose balance and fall to the floor. I kept it going for a few minutes then released them once their faces began turning red. Banner was showing signs of anger and I just laughed.

Wanda sent a few fires of her red magic at me which I blocked by forming a massive ice-shield covering my whole body. Captain America's shield broke my ice but I soon froze the shield, tossing it aside as it was rendered useless.

"Any impact on that shield now and it'll shatter to thousands of pieces," I warned as Captain went to pick it up. He left it on the floor.

"Okay. Before any damage is done, you can still back down. Do the right thing," the Captain advised. Too bad.

"Okay. How about a deal?" They all looked at each other. "You can all fight me individually and if anyone of you wins, I'll come with you guys. Trial by combat, am I right?" Tony raised his eyebrows confidently. He came forwards and everyone else stepped back. Dr Banner had an uneasy look on his face.

Tony Stark was my easy one. I get water on the inside or I melt the suit from the outside.

"I hope this isn't your best suit, Mr Stark. Seriously, heat damage can be really bad these days," I say mockingly before hitting him with so much heat the suit disintegrates around him. I smirk as he's left in just a pair of trousers and a black t-shirt. His face is stunned. I can't imagine why ...

Wanda steps up next. My plan for her is defending. Her magic doesn't work well against ice. And she is powerless without her hands. The plants beneath her feet start to grow and she stares at the ground. Fast-growing ivy creates bounds in which her hands are tied and covered behind her back. Easy.

Black Widow. She's just human with a lot of weaponry. I freeze her guns in her holsters, not enough to hurt her but enough so she can't move them. We go into fist fighting but ask soon as she's about to throw a punch when I shapeshift. She stops mid-punch as I transform into her instructor from her childhood. The one who stole her childhood. My voice changes to match the monotonous yet familiar voice that caused her so much pain. She simply stood staring, shaking. I took one of her own electrified wrists and placed it on her exposed skin, with no resistance.

Captain America. Without his shield, he's still super strong but not immune to everything. I figured I could go a little more intense on him that the others. They are all human, after all. I hit him where I know it will hurt the most. My body morphs into that of James Barnes, before the metal arm. The captain freezes momentarily and I realise that that isn't going to work. He fought Bucky a while ago and pushed feelings out of it.

"What about me?" I ask, changed once again. As soon as I saw his face, I knew I hit home. Peggy. He stepped back involuntarily and I smirked. I took in the sight of Captain America, standing in front of me, white and afraid.

"I can't hurt you," he mumbled, dropping to his knees.

"Want to go to sleep again, Captain? Then you'll really be out of your time," I smirk before knocking him out swiftly and easily with a quick shock of electricity. Turning to my next opponent, I see his angry eyes.

Hawkeye. Should be easy.I mean, he has a bow and a finite number of arrows. This should be easy. I changed back to my regular appearance and changed my ability. Super-speed. I run circles around him, not thinking about my predictability. Barton catches on to my pattern and sents an arrow right into my thigh. I slow and stagger, ripping the arrow out my leg.

I begin to see everything spin. Tony looks pissed and Wanda frees herself from the binds that began to loosen the moment I started losing consciousness. Banner is calming himself, the green tint slowly leaving his face. Barton ran over to Natasha and carried her back to the Quinjet. Wanda used her magic to lift The Captain from the floor and Tony picked me up unwillingly.   
  
  


***


	2. Adorability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: adorability, obviously :)

"Loki! Don't you dare disappear on me now!" I yelled down the corridor. I had walked into the living room and I saw the Avengers.

As toddlers.

Fml.

Nat and Clint had toy nerf guns and were running around shooting foam bullets left, right and centre. Tony had a screwdriver in his hand - I have literally no idea where he was hiding it but hey - and was collapsing the coffee table. Bruce was engaged with the sci-fi program on the tv. Bucky was playing with army figures and Steve was sleeping on the couch. I guessed that this was the Steve before the serum so he had all the medical conditions. Thor was trying to pick up the hammer. Loki had run off somewhere which was why I was shouting at him.

Now I was making sure they didn't get hurt. Not how I was planning on spending my day.

I retrieved Loki and put him back in the room. I locked away all the real weapons and broke up the nerf war between the two crazies.

"Nattie. Clint. No more fighting. Or at least not when there are other people in the room, yeah?" I scolded gently. They nodded, the picture of innocence.

They took off running down the hall and into the games room, probably to continue their antics.

I told Tony to rebuild the table then took him and Banner to the lab, hoping a familiar environment would help somehow. A surveillance video was shown on a tablet screen and I clicked play.

"This is experiment #173 on this compound that supposedly remedies ageing and causes youth. I hope this works," Video Tony says and just as he's about to pour the liquid into a syringe, it slips from his fingers and onto the floor.

It goes everywhere and escapes into the air conditioning, spreading all over the tower. Well then. That's not good.

"FRIDAY?" I ask, almost hesitantly as I don't really want the answer.

"Yes, Miss?" She responds.

"How long will this last?"

"Approximately 4 days Miss," FRIDAY responds in a cool tone.

I can handle four days. No different to work experience at a nursery. There better be no global catastrophes in the next few days else we're all screwed.

I rush back to the living room when I hear something smash and I see Bucky surrounded by glass shards.

"Sh.. Bucky, you okay?" I almost curse before cutting myself off. I check him over and I see no visible marks. He doesn't seem phased so I pick him up and sit him next to Steve while I clean up the glass. I see the smashed glass is from what was a glass-topped coffee table but is now an intricate wire mesh.

"Bucky? What happened?" I asked slowly. He put his innocent eyes on show and I caved, my anger dissipating. "Bucky, what's wrong with Stevie?"

"He always sleeps a lot," Bucky's voice was high and clear, although a little snivelly. I picked a sleeping Stevie up and took him to his bedroom. I laid him on his bed, gently laying a little blanket over him before turning the lights off and finding a tablet to check through the cameras every so often to make sure he was okay. I closed his bedroom door and found Bucky playing with his soldiers again without trouble.

Before attending to Loki or Thor, I quickly ran through the rooms where everyone was supposed to be. Tony and Bruce were still in the lab, still working on a project together. Natasha and Clint were still play-fighting. I made a mental note to check on the both of them more often. Stevie was sleeping soundly, apart from a few coughs here and there.

My attention was finally back to the Asgardian babies. Thor was crying and Loki was trying to comfort him. The adorable display of brotherhood made my heart melt. I took Thor in my arms - he's really heavy for a toddler, I'll tell you that - and he instantly wrapped his arms around my neck.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked softly, rocking him back and forth.

"Mjolnir's not letting me lift it," he wailed and I stopped a laugh before it reached my mouth.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I-I-I was just sayin-saying that F-Father was bei-being mean to u-u-u-us and the-then I couldn't li-lift it," he said between whimpers. It was adorable. I sat down on the floor next to Loki and took his mini hand in mine whilst still cradling Thor.

"Well, you need to make up for it. So why don't you both do something good?" I said, and their eyes lit up in realisation.

"I could tidy my bedroom!"

"I could dust my desk!"

They both exclaimed simultaneously before rushing off down the hall together, hands in hand. I put the cameras on the TV screen so I wouldn't forget and I got started on my homework. I'm 17 and studying maths and chemistry and English Lit so yes, I have a ton of homework but I didn't think I'd get much done over the next few days.

I was half-way through my second paragraph on the analysis of Macbeth's attitude when I heard crying through the TV. I dropped my pen and ran into the games room. Clint was on the floor, a hand over his ankle and bawling. I picked him up and took him down to the infirmary, Natasha close behind me. I put him on the metal table and let FRIDAY do a full scan.

"It seems that Mr Barton has sprained his ankle, Miss," FRIDAY told me as the result and I sighed. At least nothing was broken. That would be way too complicated. I put a bandage around his ankle gently before giving him a piggyback to the living room. His laughter was reassuring and I sat him on the couch, giving him the TV remote. I put the camera footage up on my laptop instead.

***

Evening came and everyone was hungry. Stevie had woken up and asked very politely if we could have pizza. Of course, I agreed, not wanting to cook but also who could say no to that adorable face?

I practically dragged Tony and Bruce out their lab by their ankles. I sent them all to get their blankets as I thought a slumber party would be the best, mainly because I wouldn't have to keep staring at cameras all night. Everyone together would just be best for everyone.

Previously I had ordered some small PJs for them and I gave them each a set based on their hero alias. Stevie was wearing oversized Captain America PJs because the smallest size was still too big. Tony had Iron Man suit PJs on and a little hat with the mask on. Bruce was reluctant to wear his but I told him he had to and he was in total green with his signature purple pants on. Natasha and Clint were easy; I bought their PJs and they loved wearing them. Thor and Loki had a few things from Asgard they wanted to wear but I made them / bribed them to wear them for at least one night. Bucky was the hardest but I had settled on military uniform from the 40s for him.

The pizza arrived and we all ate, whilst watching some random cartoons. I made sure to get loads of pictures of them all, being so adorable in costume. The began to fall asleep one by one, little Stevie first, even though he'd been sleeping practically all day. Bruce looked exhausted and it took me a while to persuade him to sleep. Clint and Natasha were fairly excited but I finally calmed them both down enough for them to sleep. Tony took longer than most of them, mainly because he had been drinking a lot of caffeine before. Damn his caffeine addiction. Thor and Loki were really happy and fell to sleep with smiles on their faces.

Bucky wasn't so easy. He refused to sleep for hours. I tried everything, from hot chocolate and marshmallows to stories to singing softly. Nothing worked. It was 3 am before he was starting to fall to sleep. I had him in my arms and he fell asleep with his head laid on my chest. I didn't move, not wanting to wake him.

***

3 hours later, Bucky's crying woke me from a nightmare. I sat up breathing heavily before I faced a tearful Bucky, comforting him and telling him it was only a dream. The words were said to comfort Bucky as much as they were to persuade me it was all okay. That this would end soon. This time, fatigue overtook Bucky quickly, allowing him to return to sleep much quicker than I could. I put him on the sofa underneath a blanket and I paced around the room, trying to rid the nightmare from my head.

Steve started coughing, really badly. I woke him up, unable to help his breathing. I never felt so useless. He cried and I comforted again. It seemed to be a continuous cycle. Crying and comfort. Only three more days of this, I told myself. I can get through three days.

***

In the morning, I made pancakes for everyone and tried to encourage all doing things in the same room, just to make it easier. They were sick of the living room and Nat and Clint suggested the gym. My eye widened but they said the gym. And there are no weapons in the gym, just weights and mats. They all looked at me, and I couldn't say no.

"Fine."

Steve stayed back and helped me clear away before we joined everyone else down in the gym. Natasha was doing impressive acrobatics for a toddler and Clint watched her in awe. Loki and Thor were play-fighting on one of the mats and Bucky was punching a bag. Steve was stubborn and wouldn't join in with anyone. Tony was just chasing Bruce around the room and the peacefulness of the mood was something I knew I would miss when they all grew up again.

They all got tired quickly and I got homework done during the two hours of quiet. I'm exhausted and it's only day two. I was supposed to be at school but I had called in 'sick'. I couldn't leave them alone. They may be the world's mightiest heroes but they're freaking adorable.

***

I was rejoicing that this was the final night. They all got dressed up into their PJs and crowded in the living room to watch some Disney movie. I think Bucky and Tony were arguing about which one. I was exhausted; the toddlers were full of energy. I put a movie on and let them fall asleep to it. No-one was asleep half-way through the movie when Steve started saying he felt sick. I went with him back to his room and he ran into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door. Even without looking, I knew he was throwing up. I grabbed one of my old shirts as I had no other clothes for him and a glass of water.

Back in his bathroom, I cleaned him up and let him get changed. I put my awkward feelings aside when he wasn't wearing anything but boxers. I needed to keep it professional. Once he was dressed, I let him stay in his room, waiting until he fell asleep.

His little, innocent face was refreshing; just knowing that Steve didn't always carry the weight of the world on his shoulders was a good thing. I didn't want to wake him up so I turned the lights off and closed the door softly.

Everyone else, excluding Bucky, had fallen asleep so one-by-one I carried them back to their rooms, tucking them in gently and taking a few more sneaky snapshots while I could. Natasha instantly curled up into a ball when I put her on top of the covers, so quickly I nearly laughed aloud. Clint was muttering about Natasha in his sleep, mostly incoherent words but a few distinct ones. Tony slept heavily, so even when I stubbed my toe and nearly cursed aloud, he didn't even stir. Bruce woke up when I picked him up but quickly fell back to sleep, his arms around my neck. Loki and Thor shared a room whilst Thor's was under renovation so I placed Loki on the top bunk of the bed, being careful that he didn't fall out and Thor on the bottom bunk, his limbs refusing to stay put on the bed.

When I got back to Bucky, finally, he was tired but still wide awake. We slept like every night prior, his tiny frame on top of me. I was too tired to argue when he climbed onto me and looked at me with wide eyes. For the first time in 4 days, he slept through the entire night with no nightmares.

**In the Morning**

I woke up, breathless. Not because I was scared or having a nightmare, but because Bucky Barnes was lying on top of me. Back at regular size.

"Bucky," I choked out and he instantly jumped up, off of me. I caught my breath, before registering that he was back to normal. "Bucky!" I shouted in excitement, throwing my arms around him. He returned the gesture with one hand. That was expected though.

"[y/n]!" Tony's voice rattled through the place. Together, they all stormed into the living room, the costumes having expanded around them for everyone but Steve who looked very constricted in my shirt.

"Nah, Tony, don't even. This was all your fault. You did that stupid experiment and I was stuck babysitting for four days so don't even get pissy." I said before he could get another word in.

"What the hell am I wearing?" he questioned and I laughed. He looked mad but I stopped at the looks I was being given. I put a group image of them all on the tv screen and watched as their jaws dropped simultaneously in horror. But they began laughing at each other then at themselves. Thor and Loki were looking at each other, remembering the brotherly love they had as children. Maybe that would come back. Steve and Bucky were reminiscing the 20s and 30s, growing up together and though they thought it had been lost - 70 years in ice does that to people I guess - maybe it could be recovered. Nat and Clint were just laughing, thinking about what it was like to be a child and to be carefree. Tony was thinking about being a child too, but his thoughts were centred on his parents. I let go of Bucky's hand and walked over to Tony quietly, bringing him into a hug. It seemed I may never stop being the one to comfort the rest.

"It's okay," I whispered, feeling his grip on my shirt, I knew he was trying not to cry. He pulled away, blinking rapidly. He nodded in gratitude and Steve asked a question.

"So why am I in your shirt?"  
  



	3. Slightly Vampiric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Rogers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: none, I think :)

Steve started noticing something was up. I met him and the rest of the Avengers almost a year ago, posing as a HYDRA agent for Fury. I turned to their side as soon as the alarm rang out, stealing a load of their secure files and fighting my way out.

I had given Fury all the info I 'borrowed' then the Avengers reached out to me.

Long story short, I joined the team, based on my combat training.

But Steve constantly tries to get me to train with him, or anyone, but I always refuse. I train alone, I basically stay out of everyone's way unless it's required. I didn't tell them my secret. Only Fury knows, and he kept it off the servers, out of the reach of anyone else. When Ultron got into the system, I had to make sure that the paper copy - the only copy - of my file didn't get found. Lucky for me, it didn't. But I'll let you in on my secret.

I'm a vampire.

If I trained with anyone, they'd get hurt. I'd lose control. I haven't lost control in years but it could still happen. The same as with Bucky. HYDRA still has their hooks in him, the same way I could lose it. I try to do good and being with the Avengers helps do that.

Yes, I'm a regular vampire. But I don't kill people. Animals, yes. People, no. I can run as fast as Pietro and I'm as strong as Steve and Bucky put together. I keep my thoughts to myself, so Wanda doesn't find out. I avoid mealtimes because it tastes like dust in my mouth. And, I don't age anymore, so I use makeup to make the subtle changes I should be. I don't have to breathe but it's a habit, a good habit that doesn't raise suspicion. I pretend to sleep at night when in fact I'm learning. Currently, I know 152 languages. Last night, I learnt Mandarin. I could beat Tony on a mental test about thermo-nuclear astrophysics.

"[y/n]! Mission briefing!" Steve shouted through my door and I walked at a normal pace down to the conference room. I took my seat, slouching for human effect.

"Okay, it should be a quick mission, but everyone needs to be there. We'll leave tomorrow morning. We have training scheduled for two hours beginning in 15 minutes, I want everyone there," Steve said, looking directly at me. I sighed and nodded. Everyone gradually left the room and I laid back in the chair, waiting for the room to empty. I listened for heartbeats and soon, only one remained. I opened my eyes, seeing Bucky staring at me.

"[y/n], what are you waiting for?" Bucky asked and I shrugged.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing really, making sure you don't skip training again, to be honest," he confessed and I smirked.

"I won't skip. I'll go there now," I returned, gracefully gliding out my seat. Bucky followed me down the hall and all the way to the gym. Steve was already there, and Natasha was shooting a target in the corner.

"[y/n]! You actually showed," Natasha called sarcastically across the room and I rolled my eyes at her.

"And I'll stay but I'm not sparring with anyone." Steve sighed and Bucky rolled his eyes, muttering 'stubborn'.

"You have to spar with us at some point." I shook my head. "Why not?" Steve pestered.

"Because I can't. I just can't, okay? At least I'm here, right?" He didn't say anything else, but I could tell he wanted to. Smart move.

**

An hour and a half into the training session, people were beginning to get tired. I looked at the timetable Steve posted on the wall and he put me into the sparring rota. Against him. My attention turned to the mat, where Nat and Sam were sparring and they both looked exhausted. I kept up my act, pretending to be tired when my face was still perfectly pale and my forehead dry.

Steve called their match a draw and then we were up. I decided to let him get his way at least once, but I knew I couldn't let him actually touch me. He'd break his hand on my marble skin or freeze his fingers off from the little heat I gave out.

"Is this necessary?" I asked as I dodged all his punches consistently. It was no work and my little effort was beginning to annoy Steve.

"Yes, it is. You need to train, like the rest of us. You need to participate in all the exercises, including the sparring. So, make some effort," he lectured whilst still trying to hit me. I caught his wrist as it aimed at my face. My black gloves masked my cool skin. I didn't put much pressure on him, I knew I could hurt him too easily. Everyone had seen what I could do to normal people, but they all thought it was just me being a little stronger than them. Not half a tonne stronger.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered.

"You won't." I will though. I let go of his hand and walked off the mat. He went to follow me but something in my look stopped him. They let me walk out and as soon as I was out of range of the cameras Tony had hidden everywhere, I took off running.

***

I made my way back to the tower. I had hunted in a forest about 300 miles from the city. Just to make sure, just to be safe.

The lights were still on - it's only 9 pm after all. I got to the kitchen area and everyone was sat down together eating. An activity I always avoid. But Clint wasn't about to let me get away.

"[y/n]! Where have you been? Come and join us!" he exclaimed as soon as his eyes caught mine. I took the seat next to his, avoiding Steve's eyes intently. I didn't eat and no-one reacted once I told them I'd already eaten. Easy excuses.

But in the back of my mind, I missed food. I missed eating and tasting things and the social aspect of a dinner out. But I'd been living like this for so long, it felt normal now. At first, it was awful, like with everything. I knew how Vision felt as he looked at the food they were eating. But I'd acclimatised.

Only Steve gave my excuse a second look.

The meal was over and I left to watch Pretty Little Liars because I still hadn't caught up with it. I know it finished but still. I'm only on season 5. Wanda usually watched it with me but she was spending the evening with Vision. Everyone left to go their separate ways, but Steve followed me.

"[y/n]? Where the hell have you been?"

"Out."

"Where?"

"None of your damn business!" I don't know where my anger came from but Steve was treating me like a child. I was older than him, and though he doesn't know it, I'm stronger than him too.

"Yes, it is. This is my team and you can't just vanish like that. I was worried ... " my look cut him off.

"I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for too long." My comment stuck out and I instantly regretted it.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Take a guess. I don't need someone to lean on, that hasn't been the case for years." I could feel the sympathy radiating off him and I hated it. I walked off, leaving him stunned. I wished at that moment I could fall asleep but all I could do was take my mind off it. Tonight, I'd learn quantum entanglement.

***

Steve came into my room at 6 am and I pretended to be sleeping. I 'woke up' when he opened the door and I was ready to leave for the mission almost immediately. I'd quenched my thirst last night so that wouldn't be a problem. Nat came and sat beside me on the hangar floor.

"How come you never eat before missions?" she asked, openly. Well, openly for Natasha anyway.

"It makes me nervous and like I'm going to be sick," I say, lying quicky, but not too quickly.

"I know Steve's worried about you, [y/n]. We all are. You disappeared for over 12 hours yesterday. That's not going to go away easily." Her tone sounded like she was warning me and I couldn't get her words out of my head as we got on the quinjet.

"[y/n], where did you go yesterday?" Tony asked for the cockpit, the entire team hearing his question.

"Nowhere interesting, hanging out with some people, why?"

"You were gone over 12 hours; that's a long time." He shrugged.

"Is that the plan then? Get me to 'fess up in front of the team, in the sky so I can't escape?" I say angrily, turning to Steve. He had guilt written across his entire face. I calmed down, putting headphones on and leaving an angry expression on my face as I 'fell asleep'. Just to listen in. I didn't move at all, and my eyelids were lightly closed. It was a good ten minutes before they began talking, whispering really.

"What's she hiding?"

"Maybe it's nothing."

"Wanda, can you find out?"

"No brother, that's not right and I cannot anyway; my telepathy doesn't work on her."

"What do you think Steve?" There was a moment of silence.

"I think she needs to tell us because it's dangerous for us not to know. She's supposed to be on our side but who knows what's really going on. Fury vouches for her but he's been wrong before." How dare he?!

***

The plane landed and I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned my music off and took the headphones out. Wanda.

Steve gave us the plan, and although I didn't like being paired with him, it was necessary. Clint and Nat always worked together. Same goes for Wanda and Piet. Tony did what he wanted and Vision followed him just in case he decided to do something reckless. Bruce waited at the jet for a code green. So naturally, I was left with Cap. Sam flew around us all, leaving us in the dust.

We were fighting the little HYDRA army and we were having no trouble so I said:

"Steve, I'm aware you don't like me. And you don't have to but we should be able to work together, professionally at least, for the team?" He'd been ignoring me the whole time.

"Fine. Can you not just be honest with us though?" I shook my head.

"It's for the best Cap, I promise."

We were done. The base was gone.

"[y/n]!" A familiar voice cried out and the team was quick to fall into place near me.

No.

Did he find me?

No.

This isn't good.

No.

The team will get hurt.

No.

The team will find out.

No.

The team will hate me.

No!

"Kili. What do you want?" I pushed my way in front of everyone else, taking a protective stance against him.

"Now that's no way to treat your mate now is it?" He tutted and I laughed.

"I am not your mate. We ended this years ago."

"You ended it. 385 years ago." He snarled and I heard gasps. I'll focus on them later.

"I ended it because we believe in different things. You've killed people. You think of them as less than us. They aren't. They're better, purer than any one of us could ever be. If you ever loved me, you'd let me go, let me exist how I want to exist."

"Why would you choose this? They'll die soon enough, barely in a blink when you could live and rule our kind. Aro will be most disappointed you turned down his offer yet again."

"Give him my apologies and tell him I don't think I look good with red. The gold suits me much better, don't you agree?"

"You can stand to live amongst them? How?"

"Stop stalling. I know you're here to take me with you to Volterra but I can't live like that anymore. It's not me."

"Pity. You have to come or you have to kill me. It's one or the other [y/n]."

"Fine," I snarled and before he could think I was wrapping my legs around his neck, his head twisting in my hands. He wasn't expecting it so it was easy. His head popped off in my hands and I took a lighter from my pocket and set his icy corpse on fire.

I turned back to the team and all their expressions mirrored each other. Shock, fear and confusion.

"I'm a vampire." They all seemed to have gathered that much but I knew I owed them a lot. All the basics to begin with. "I was born in London, in 1493, and was turned 23 years after that. I just exist; it's not really living. When people start asking questions, I always moved away."

"I'm sorry I wasn't honest. And I'm sorry I'm not the person you think I am. I tried. But I understand you aren't going to want me in the team. Just forget about this, else the Volturi will come for you and that would mean all of your deaths. I'm sorry to force you into this decision." Three bullets were fired and I looked down in confusion as they bounced off my chest.

"Natasha?" I said softly. She looked mad. I would be too.

"[y/n], why didn't you tell us?" Tony asked. I did a double take on his words.

"Do you seriously need an answer to that?"

"Yes. I mean, have you seen this team, no offence guys. Supersoldier, ex-HYDRA assassin, archer, assassin, my suit, a Hulk, an AI, speedster and a telekinetic. And wings in the corner. We can accept you, I'm sure of it." he sounded genuine and I believed him but my mind was telling me to push them away.

"Then ask me the most basic question. What do I eat?" They all fell silent. "I don't kill people. I survive off animals; whenever I 'disappear' it's to hunt. I haven't drunk human blood for over 200 years." Their postures visibly relaxed.

"I'm sorry. But I shouldn't come back with you. It's not safe." They all erupted in arguments but Steve stayed silent. It was clear he didn't want me here. "Guys, it's for the best."

"No, you can't just leave."

"You have to stay."

"It's no more dangerous now than it was two days ago."

"We want you to stay."

"Sorry I shot you." Natasha's comment lets a smile escape across my face.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'll stay. But any message from the Volturi, and I leave. No arguing." They nodded and I smiled.

"Wait, how strong are you?" Trust Clint to start the questions. As an example, I picked up a handgun from a fallen HYDRA agent nearby and crushed the handle in my hands, leaving just a pile of dust.

"Geez, okay then."

"Does anything damage your skin? I mean, obviously, bullets don't," Natasha asked, grinning.

"Not that I'm aware of." At least she was accepting me. Steve was a different story. "Can we go now? I promise not to run off." With that, I winked and sped away at full speed to the quinjet. I heard Pietro's laughter and he sped after me, Wanda on his back.

"Keep up, old man!"

***

"Steve?" I called, as we all left the jet. The others had been bombarding me with questions but Steve had stayed silent the entire time. He turned around to face me.

"Why couldn't you have told me?" he whispered and without my hearing, I would have missed it.

"Because it would have been dangerous," I tell him simply. "The Volturi would have come for you, and you all would have been slaughtered. I can't exist with that on my conscience. Even worse, they might change you. If I'd told you, I'd be sentencing you to a li..existance based on evil. You're the first superhero the world saw; that can't change."

"All this time I was constantly on at you about training and you refused each time because you were worried you'd hurt someone? That sentiment isn't from someone with a heart of stone. [y/n]," he muttered in my ear.

"But I could crush you without even meaning to, one second of lost control and I could kill someone. That's not something to play around with," I murmured.

"You wouldn't hurt me," he responded in absolute seriousness.

"Not intentionally but it could happen. Bucky would never hurt you but if Hydra took control..." I trailed off, the implication as clear as glass.

"I can take it," he replied, his argument worthless.

"I could kill you right now Steve. Before you'd even know it. There's no argument. I didn't tell you because I knew it would hurt you. If another vampire comes here then I'm leaving."

"Where would you go?" he asked.

"To Forks, probably. I know Carlise, he wouldn't mind if I stayed there. He's like family to me, like a brother I've known for hundreds of years," I laugh. Steve's eyes narrowed. His heartbeat quickened. I was confused; what did I say wrong?

"Steve, calm down, your heart is racing," I say, concerned. He doesn't reply, he just leans towards me and presses his lips to mine. I don't respond right away but soon I lose myself in the kiss. He pulls away breathing heavily.

"Don't leave," he whispered. I shook my head.

"I guess I can't call you gramps now, Cap," Tony shouted across the room. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled Steve out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a Twilight cross-over incase you didn't notice :)


	4. I'm Going to Kill Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stark/Rogers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: Claustrophobic reader, swearing

Tony could hear [y/n] and Steve fighting down on the gym. He sighed at the commotion they were making, annoying him to the point where he was ready to intervene with the two strongest people in the building.

Five minutes later, Bruce could tell Tony was about to blow his top.

"Don't bother," he advised before Tony stormed out the room and down to the gym.

[y/n] and Steve were sparring but with a slightly more vicious element that Tony didn't usually see in Steve when he was fulfilling his role as Captain. [y/n] had Steve pinned to the mat, his groans echoing through an empty room.

"Hey! Quit it!" Tony yelled and they both turned to face him, [y/n] releasing him. They stood up facing Tony as if they were naughty children facing a principal.

"You guys need to grow up. Seriously, it's getting annoying now."

"You hear that Steve?" [y/n] whispered, jabbing him in the ribs, in a way too forceful to be friendly.

"Jesus, [y/n] you could use that advice too," Steve muttered back, jabbing her back.

"I've had enough of you too. You are both adults but clearly, are acting like children. You're both staying in here until you figure out your differences. That's a promise." With that, Tony left the room, telling FRIDAY not to let anyone in or out for the next few hours.

***

The door was tightly locked; Steve couldn't override FRIDAY's system nor could he break them out. He was beginning to let his emotions out and he unleashed them on [y/n].

"What the hell [y/n]? We could be out of here but we're stuck in this room. Heck, you could at least help me break us out. Why are you just letting me do all the work?" He yelled across the room to where [y/n] was sitting, facing away from Steve so he couldn't see her face.

"What the hell? Ignore me then why don't you!" Steve's yelling was getting too heated, too out of control for [y/n]'s liking.

"We're trapped in here?" [y/n] said in a quiet voice and realisation dawned upon Steve.

"Tony will let us out [y/n], I'm sure he will," he said, his voice calmer than before. He could sense her discomfort and he didn't want to overstep the line but also couldn't let a teammate suffer through what was partially his fault.

"Hey, [y/n] it's going to be fine," Steve reassured her, walking over to where she sat.

"Why would he lock us in here?" [y/n] said, her voice small. She could feel her breathing quicken and her palms became clammy. She began rocking back and forth, her head resting on her knees.

"I'm going to kill Stark," [y/n] muttered over and over, the angry thoughts delaying her loss of sanity. Steve got out his earpiece and connected to Tony.

"What the hell? Look at the video footage now!" Steve fought to keep his voice calm but lost his cool by the end of a few short sentences.

***

Tony clicked onto the live camera footage and was instantly washed over with guilt. He was so pissed before that [y/n]'s claustrophobia had slipped his mind.

An alert popped up on his screen in red but he dismissed it almost immediately as he couldn't think of anything else but [y/n] and Steve. But the red writing was a warning so Tony checked it anyway, shocked at the unluckiness of the situation.

All power to the 20th floor of the tower had been lost. The same floor that had [y/n] and Steve trapped in with electromagnetic locks that went into shutdown when the power shut off. They were trapped until Tony could get the power back up.

Tony sprinted down the stairs and was hit with [y/n]'s screams when he reached the door.

"Steve? Can you hear me?" Tony yelled through the door.

"Stark open this door now!" Steve yelled back, trying and failing to comfort [y/n].

"Stark I'm going to fucking murder you, you little shit!" [y/n] yelled. "You knew but you still locked me in. You fucking bastard." Tony could hear her crying through the door and all he could do was leave to fix the power. The floor had short-circuited for no apparent reason and Tony had very little time to fix it before [y/n] went totally crazy.

***

"Hey, [y/n], listen to me. You're okay. It's going to be fine. Focus on me. Focus on breathing. Focus on my voice. It's okay. We're going to be okay," Steve's words of comfort washes over [y/n]'s head and her breathing only quickened.

"Steve," [y/n] said, deliberately slowly to try and make sense, "I'm only going to ask this once but knock me out. Please." [y/n] knew her answer before Steve had even had a chance to respond.

"I can't," Steve whispered. "But I can help. Focus on your breathing. Please, [y/n]."

"I can't fucking focus. The walls are closing in on me and I just want this to be over," [y/n] sobbed, shrinking away from Steve's arms.

"Stark, you need to get this door open soon," Steve muttered through his comms unit, only making Tony work more frantically.

"[y/n], it's okay, the walls aren't moving," Steve whispered to her, staying as close to her as he could without making her flinch. She shook her head and kept murmuring to herself.

"Steve?" her voice came out quiet, so quiet Steve almost missed it.

"Yes, [y/n]?"

"Could you just talk to me, please?" [y/n] whispered, afraid he'd say no and let her suffer for being a total bitch earlier.

"Of course I will, [y/n]," Steve replied then began. He talked about everything, from how irritating Stark was sometimes to all the missions that had gone wrong. He was wondering where this claustrophobia had come from, whether she was always like it or if something happened. He kept talking, not really focussing on the words, but more how they were helping [y/n] regain control.

Tony interrupted Steve's story of how Natasha always teased him about his kissing abilities since that one undercover mission.

"Steve? [y/n]?" Tony's voice rang clearly through the room but the door was still closed.

"Tony, can you get that door open?" Steve rushed out, breaking his calm tone and replacing it with a desperate one. This got [y/n] all riled up again and Tony's response just made it worse.

"The power's coming back on in 30 minutes so there's nothing I can do. All the power was routed away from this floor and I had to replace a load of wires that take time to secure in place properly. I'm sorry, that's all I could do,"

[y/n] let out a scream of frustration and everything Steve had said had washed away from her head.

"Hey, hey, hey, [y/n] it's okay," Steve said soothingly, slowly approaching [y/n]'s retreating figure. "It's only thirty more minutes. Why don't you talk? Tell me something, explain something about this day to me," he suggested and she stopped backing away. She sat down on the mat and wove Steve's hand with hers. They talked and surprisingly it worked, letting the time fly by.

The door opened and [y/n] quickly fled the room. She ran to the nearest exit and she breathed heavily. Finally.

***

Once she was feeling okay, and calm, she slipped a weapon into her boot and made her way up to where she knew Tony would be. In truth, she was mad. But she knew Tony wouldn't blame her for being angry. Tony should have known better than to lock her in. She stormed into the lab, and Steve and Tony were talking in raised voices in the corner, Bruce just about to leave the room.

"Don't get involved, [y/n]," he warned before walking out. She couldn't listen to him; she was too mad.

"Tony, you shouldn't have locked us in, you know that!" Steve exclaimed.

"Yes, I know that, but you two have been annoying me for hours on end and someone had to do something about it." Tony reasoned, trying to stand up straight to match Steve's height.

"Is that your best excuse?" [y/n] cut in. She rolled her eyes at him, appearing to be calmer than she was.

"[y/n], I want to apologise ... " Tony began but she cut him off.

"For what exactly? For locking me in? For doing so even when you knew? For letting us get trapped? For your tower failing to let us out?" she sent at him like throwing knives aimed at his head. His expression was of fear but his eyes didn't waver, neither did his voice.

"For all of it. I should have been thinking more clearly but I was so annoyed. It was no excuse but I think that I could have acted less rashly. I'm sorry [y/n]." Her anger was stunted at his sincerity but she kept up her defensive position.

"I also want to apologise, [y/n]. If we hadn't argued so much then Tony wouldn't have felt he needed to lock us away," Steve apologised and all her anger dissipated. How could she be mad at Steve freaking Rogers?

"I'm sorry that I kept arguing with you Steve and I'm sorry it vexed you, Tony," she rushed out before leaving the room quickly.

***

[y/n] walked into the kitchen the next morning, expecting it to be empty. Steve was sitting on one of the bar stools and he greeted her with a smile. She nudged him lightly on the way past.

"What, no comment on my inappropriate attire at this time of the morning?" she joked. He shook his head. "We're really trying on this no-arguing thing, aren't we?"

"Yes. I mean, yesterday didn't end well for anyone, and it all stemmed from up driving Tony crazy. I'd rather no have a repeat of that, so, yes I'm trying," he said earnestly. Yesterday's events flashed before her eyes and she nodded in agreement.

"Okay. I just wanted to say something about that actually," she said hesitantly. He nodded. "Thank you. You really helped me, when I was in such a twisted place, and if I'd been alone, or if you'd stayed mad at me - like you should have - then everything would have been a lot worse."

"Honestly, [y/n], I would never just let you stay like that. I couldn't have stayed mad; it's not my forte anyway," he chuckled. In a sudden burst of boldness, she leaned towards him slowly and pressed her lips gently to his. He was shocked at first but then responded enthusiastically to the kiss.

"I wanted to do that for ages," she whispered and he took her hand in his.

"Me too, [y/n/n], me too."


	5. I Bet I'm Older Than You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barnes/Stark/Rogers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: none, I think :)

wished I was planning on getting a little drunk. I can't actually get drunk, I was just trying to live out my life as a normal human being. But the experimentation on me means I can't ever get drunk. Not even a little tipsy. But a crappy day, moving to a new place before people figured things out warranted at least one night out.

I was hanging with a group of girls, around the age of 23/24, and they were having a great time. Eyeing up different guys and shoving them over to ask for a dance, squealing hysterically when the bartender came over with a drink and a message from a stranger.

A hot guy was sitting with another in the corner, one man had a glove over his left hand and the other looked vaguely familiar. One had long black hair that messily covered at least half his face and the other had slightly neater dirty blond hair. I could see they were both muscular from across the room. I caught the blond's eyes and quickly looked away, unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"Who's that you're staring at?" the girl next to me whispered, not so quietly. The rest of the group suddenly was engrossed in who they were and they practically pushed me towards them. I sighed and put a smile on my face.

"Hey," I said, as I came up to their table.

"Hey, beautiful," the dark-haired one flirted.

"Can I join you in a drink?" I asked, my voice so fake it almost made me gag.

"Of course but I'd love your name," the blond one replied, politely.

"Only if I get yours," I replied immediately, as a chill ran down my spine. I ignored it as they both nodded. "[y/n]."

"I'm Bucky and this is Steve," the dark-haired one introduced and I took the other stool at the bar table. "I'll go grab us some drinks."

"So, Steve, where you from?" I asked, making conversation. I would surprise him, I wouldn't be that girl in a club that just wanted sex. I could make an actual conversation.

"Right here, Brooklyn. What about you?" he replied, looking slightly out of place somehow. I couldn't shake that feeling that I was missing something.

"All over the place, but I was born in London," I say, my accent twinging on the word.

"Cool," he said and the conversation lulled as I tried to place him. Bucky came back and I accepted my drink, thanking him.

"So, how do you know each other?" I asked, hoping it might help me place them.

"We met in Brooklyn," Bucky answered shortly and I brushed off his harsh tone.

"Would you like to dance?" Steve asked me and my previous restrictions seemed to wear off a little.

"No, I'm okay. I think I'm a little old for you anyway," I take a swig of my drink, and knit my brows together in confusion when they start laughing together. All of a sudden, I can place them. He's ...

"Steve Rogers! Holy crap, I didn't recognise you without the stars and stripes," I exclaimed before turning to Bucky, "Sergeant Barnes, honestly I didn't recognise you without the uniform ... ," I trail off, knowing I'd outed myself. "Crap," I muttered before facing their confused ones.

"Okay, what the hell?" Steve said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out the place, Bucky close behind. "You recognise Buck for his army rank in the 40s and talk like you knew us. And you were so sure you'd be older. I think you at least owe us an answer."

"Fine, but not here," I hissed, crossing my arms. Steve gets into a car that pulls up in front, of us a few minutes later and motions for me to follow. Bucky gets in afterwards.

"Who's this?" The driver asks in a feminine voice that was slightly higher than mine.

"Nat, this is [y/n]. We've offered her a place to stay tonight, I'm sure Tony has a spare room somewhere," Bucky lies smoothly and I cringe at the sound of Tony. I presume he means Tony Stark and that can't be good.

The short car journey dragged on and on. Minutes stretched out to last lifetimes, intended to torture my mind with painful memories. When we finally reached the extensive garage in Stark Tower, I felt sick. Not because of alcohol but because I would have to tell my story. Also there were the nerves of meeting another Stark, and then their reactions as well. And no doubt they will want to bring me into SHIELD or recruit me afterwards and I don't want that. We rode up the elevator in silence and Nat got out three floors before us. Steve practically pushed me into the empty conference room and began the interrogation almost immediately.

"Explain," he growled. I'd never heard of Rogers being this ... animalistic before. This desperate for answers.

"Where to start?" I wondered aloud before deciding to begin at the beginning, the very beginning. "Okay, I worked for the UK military during the war. Not the same war as you guys but still a pretty major war." I paused, sighing. "I was born in 1895. I was 19 when the first world war broke out. I joined the army because my father was a general and he insisted I was doing my part. I spent two years in the army before I was captured by HYDRA ... "

"Wait, HYDRA was a thing before the Nazis?" Bucky questioned. I nodded as confirmation and hesitated before taking the shoes off my feet and the half-tights off my legs. I propped my metal legs up on the table, taking in their reactions. Bucky slid the glove off his left arm and I nodded, knowing it was there. Steve was just astounded and silent.

"They captured me and I fought as their soldier for the remaining two years. Germany still lost and HYDRA put me away in ice until they wanted me next. Every time there was someone who didn't agree, I was woken up. That was when WW2 broke out. I had regained memories while in the ice, their methods not yet perfect. But I could act so I stayed until I had a window. Before Captain America, I was Howard Stark's little project. I helped translate stolen German notes and I helped make your shield. I remember his excitement when he found the vibranium. It was like Christmas.

"You came along not long after that and I told Stark to put me back under. Before you, Stark needed me. We had a thing but he broke it off and I remember when he came home the day he met you. He was so much more excited to go back to work the next morning and I was rendered useless. So I got a friend back in London to help and he put me under. I woke up in 2015 and heard you were alive. I heard what happened and I'm sorry. I could have helped, it didn't have to be you that went under for all those years. I was already fucked up enough so it wouldn't have hurt me as badly.

"And Bucky, I'm so sorry. If I'd stayed with HYDRA, you could have had a chance at life, I could have helped rather than all those years ... I'm just trying to apologise for all the shit that I could have prevented or at least tried rather than taking the cowards way out. I'm sorry."

I had tears building up in my eyes and I fought to not let them fall. I met each of their eyes, Steve's full of pity and something I couldn't recognise and Buckys with recognition. He knew what I went through with HYDRA as he went through the same thing, just all those years later.

A single tear slipped out and I brushed it away quickly, putting my tights and shoes back on. I stood up but Bucky spoke before I could move.

"Stay," he asked and I could hear the uneasiness of letting me go so quickly in his voice. I weakened and nodded, retaking my seat.

"I think you should meet the team," Steve said, out the blue. I shook my head and bit my lip. I can't meet the team, it's one step closer to the life I've been avoiding for the longest time. And one step closer to Tony Stark.

"One step at a time, Steve," Bucky said, throwing him a look.

"No, Buck, the team should know about [y/n]. Just like they know about you. It's precautionary but also could get her a step further."

The word precautionary stuck in my head and it swayed my decision. A worry of losing control had been at the back of my mind since I woke up. I needed to know that if I lost control around people, then they could handle it. Who better than the Avengers?

"Okay."

***

Steve called the team to the conference room and I stood anxiously behind Bucky's seat, too nervous to simply sit still. Steve named everyone as they came in and took their seats and I grabbed Bucky's real hand for support. He squeezed it reassuringly and I exhaled deeply.

"Guys, this is [y/n]. She's going to be staying here for a while," Steve began and I willed him to stop, not to say anything more. Bucky sensed the disconnection and interrupted Steve.

"Shouldn't she introduce herself?" he muttered in Steve's ear and he looked up to see my uncomfortable expression. He nodded my way and I began.

"Okay, so I'm [y/n], you know that already. I know you so let's leave that there. For the record, I'm not dating either of them before I get any of that." I smirked and then a genuine smile came across my face. I enjoyed how easy it was to talk to them all.

"So why are you staying here? In case you didn't realise, not everyone gets free access to this place and we all need more information than that." I whipped my head around and I saw the splitting image of Howard Stark sitting across from Steve.

"Tony," I exhaled, cursing my stupidity. "I knew your father," I say, confidence rising. I see the confusion and I start from the beginning, the shortened version.

"I was born in 1895 ... " I skip the metal legs part, deciding it wasn't crucial right this moment. I skip the apology and I skip the part about being intimate with Howard. To Tony, Howard was just a friend of mine. That's not a detail he needs to hear.

"Wow," Tony breathed. "So, you're older than those two then?" He smirked and I nodded. "I guess I can't call him grandpa anymore," Tony laughed. Steve rolled his eyes and Natasha laughed.

"Really, Tony?"

We laughed it off and I realised it was way past midnight. Natasha and Clint went off to finish their movie and Bruce and Tony left, discussing their latest project. I took the heels off my feet and placed them in the corner.

"That wasn't that bad," I mumbled, my teeth digging into my lip.

"Are you tired, [y/n]?" Steve asked politely as we left the conference room and went up two floors in the elevator. I nodded and fidgeted with the hem of my short dress. It's not supposed to be that short but it is. When HYDRA gave me the new legs, they made them longer. Finding jeans is the most awkward thing in the world.

"A little," I replied, finally letting the fabric fall from between my fingers.

"There's a spare room opposite Bucky's," Steve informed me and I thanked him. I slipped into the room, giving the boys one final smile before closing the door. I unzipped the dress and washed the makeup from my face. I grabbed a t-shirt and shorts from the wardrobe and laid down on the bed, over the covers. I fell into a restless sleep, hoping that finally, I could have the chance to settle down.

***

Someone was shaking me awake and I immediately panicked. I threw them into a headlock and he groaned.

Bucky.

I quickly released him, backing away.

"I'm so sorry," I said quickly, my back pressed up against the furthest wall away from him. He removed his hand from around his throat and I could see his tensed muscles. "I'm not going psycho, I swear," I say confidently.

"It's okay, [y/n]. I came in because I could hear you crying and I know that when I wake up in a cold sweat, it's worse to be alone. But I can go if you'd rather," Bucky offered and I took his metal hand in mine. He automatically cringed away but I kept a firm hold of the cool metal.

"Stay," I whispered and he nodded. We sat on the sofa, my resting my head against his chest.

"How do you cope with this, Bucky?" I asked softly and I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. I felt him tense and then he stood up.

"I'll show you," he smiled, dragging me down the hall. We reached a training room, mats covering the floor and punching bags lining the walls. "Spar with me?" he asked, and I couldn't help but agree. I crossed the floor to the centre mat but he stopped me.

"You know that you don't have to hide," he whispered, his metal hand flexing. I took off the tights and cast them aside.

"Let's go," I told him. Game on Bucky, game on.

He was first to throw a punch, knocking me slightly off balance but I regained it easily, uppercutting his chin. He brushed his hair from his face and I took his loss of focus as a temporary advantage. I wrap my legs around him, flipping him over. I forced his legs into an uncomfortable position before using all my weight to pin down the metal arm. It worked for a moment until I noticed the closeness of our faces. He flipped me over so this time I was on the bottom. I felt awkward and Bucky noticed a change in my posture. Memories of sparring with other HYDRA agents had started coming back to me but until this moment, I'd just been enjoying being with someone familiar.

But familiarity leads to clouded judgements and I can't afford for my judgement to be clouded. Never.

"Well look at this," Tony smirked, entering the room, followed by the rest of the Avengers. I quickly scurried to hide but Bucky's hold didn't loosen. I tried to move but my wrists were encased by his metal hand. FML.

"I'm sorry Bucky," I muttered in his ear and he knitted his eyebrows together in confusion before I brought my knee up to his groin and tried not to cause permanent damage. He fell off me and I quickly apologised again before trying to leave. I was met with a barricade of the Avengers and I couldn't get through that easily.

"That was your HYDRA instalment?" Clint asked me, looking at my metal. I nodded. I needed to leave.

"Can I get out please?" I asked, my tone sickly. I was trying to not be too awful and I knew Bucky would recover but if I lost control then things wouldn't be pretty. I couldn't see Steve and he would be the only one who could help, other than Bucky. I needed to leave.

"Not yet. You can't just show up like that and then leave," Tony told me. I felt my fists start shaking and I felt my mind slowly become hazy. This wouldn't be good. I needed to leave.

"Stark, you need to let me leave." My tone was low and threatening but just as it hadn't worked on Howard all those years before, its tone was redundant. He didn't move. Ugh.

"Tony, what the hell's this?" Steve said, walking into the room. He noticed my shaking more than the others and immediately put himself between me and Tony.

"[y/n], you need to calm down. There's no threat here, it's fine," Steve cautiously tried to persuade and surprisingly, his words worked, my shaking stopping and my posture relaxing. I nodded to Steve before walking out the room and upstairs to where I stayed. I showered and borrowed another shirt and this time a black skater skirt and tights. They fit well and were very opaque so nothing showed through. I just sat on the floor, staring at my hands.

I nearly lost control. That hasn't happened since I woke up. How was I so easily distracted by Bucky? The likeliness of Tony and Howard is getting to me. Steve saved my ass up th...

"[y/n]?" Steve's voice came through the door and I got up to let him in.

"Steve."

"What happened?" he asked softly. I shook my head, declining to answer. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. It was a bold move but I welcomed it. I had missed the human contact and his touch was all I needed.

"Is Bucky okay?" I asked him quietly.

"He's fine. And he understands. He's not mad."

"I shouldn't have come here. Tony reminds me so much of how Howard used to be ... " I trailed off, realising Steve would know what I was on about.

"I know what you mean, [y/n], but they're so different as well," he reasoned. I didn't reply and he continued, hesitantly, "Maybe you should tell him?"

"NO!" I say a little too quickly. My voice was louder than I expected and Steve flinched slightly. "Sorry, but he can't know. Besides, that was in the past. I just need to get over it."

"You know, sometimes you just need to accept things like this. Me with Peggy, I mean, I still miss her and I'm still holding on to all the memories with her," he said softly and memories of Howard just surfaced, after keeping them under for so long. Then the more recent - I say recent - ones that were shadowed by Steve. But I couldn't be bitter to Steve; it wasn't his fault, but I blame Howard.

I pushed the memories aside as I heard a knock on the door. Steve opened it and left the room, with an encouraging smile in my direction.

Tony walked in.

"Stark," I greeted, almost nervously. He probably bugged this entire building, and he may have heard something.

"I'm not going to apologise because I don't but I realise that I pushed you too far earlier." There was the Stark stubbornness I recognised so well.

"Can I ask you something, Tony?" I said in a quiet voice. His eyes instantly looked worried. "You don't have to answer, I promise."

"Of course you can, darling," he said softly, and I cringed at the pet name.

"What was your relationship with Howard like?" His face fell and I regretted the words instantly. "Sorry, it was a stupid question," I trailed off.

"No, sorry, I just didn't expect it. My relationship with my father was never very good. He always obsessed over Steve and was always reminiscing the war. He never had any time for me," Tony said sadly. I was surprised at how much I understood their relationship.

"I understand. I feel like I should say this but it might make things weird between us. Can we take that chance?" I ask him and he nods honestly. "I knew Howard a lot more personally than I let on before. We were together for four years but we .. I ended it because his obsession with Steve began once they were working together. He threw me aside for his newest toy ahead of the rest of the world's military - other than Schmitt - and I guess, I identify with how you feel about him. I'll bet that he never mentioned me to you, even once. After we ended, he couldn't even work with me properly so I ended up in cryo again." I ended my little story with a few rogue tears escaping down my cheek and I hastily wiped them away, but not before Tony saw.

"Howard was an ass, long before either you or I was a part of his life. Don't cry over him, he's not worth it," Tony empathised, gently pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks, Tony," I said as we broke apart. He gave me a confident smile and I heard footsteps. Bucky was never very good a walking lightly. "Bucky's coming," I tell him and he takes it as a cue to leave, opening to door for Bucky as he leaves.

"Hey [y/n]," Bucky greeted, his face serious as he came into the room.

"Hello, Buck. Look, I'm sorry," I rush out but he puts a hand up to stop me.

"I don't want you to apologise; I know you didn't mean any harm. I just wanted to ask: are you staying? I don't want you to leave," he told me, looking at me through his long lashes.

"I'm not leaving Buck, I promise. I just, I lost it for a second there. I'm not used to .. this," I say, waving my arm.

"You think I was? Heck, I'm still not. But the only way I got through it was with Steve here beside me. And you need people around you as well." I could see what he was leading up to.

"I guess I'll go and find Natasha then," I joked and hurt crossed his face as I stood. I walked over to him and took his hands in mine. Instinctively he flinched but I didn't let go. "Buck, I'm joking. Can you help me adjust to this?"

He nodded and did something I never expected. He pressed his lips to mine and I froze. He stopped as he realised my unresponsiveness.

"[y/n], I'm so sorry," he rushed out but I interrupted him.

"Shut up, Bucky. I wasn't expecting that." I say before rejoining our smiling lips.


	6. Tricksters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Thor/Loki x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: Loki?, violence and swearing

[y/n] was one of Fury's endless recruits. He tried to build up the Avengers more and more, but ultimately, Tony kept turning everyone down. He didn't want to change the team; the team had been through enough shit and he was trying to keep what was left of them together.

Steve had moved back to the compound 3 months after Bucky was put back in Cryo for a while. Sam was with him and Wanda was eager to get back to Vision. Clint retired officially this time, returning to Laura. It wasn't long after that that Bucky was removed from Cryo and he rejoined his best friend.

But something struck Tony about [y/n] that she was different. She was beautiful, there was no doubt but her combative abilities were unparalleled in terms of the Shield agents she was trained by. So Tony called her in and she met the team. Everyone was there, including Thor. He'd been asked especially, since he was still on the team, even if he left Earth a lot.

Thor had brought Loki with him, and he was placed in a basement cell inside the compound where Thor could keep an eye on him when he was away from Asgard. Odin objected at first but his care for Loki's wellbeing had diminished when Loki tried to take over Midgard.

All the Avengers were in the training hall when Tony brought her in.

"Guys, this is the new recruit. Her name is [y/n]." The Avengers greeted her one by one but Thor stayed silent. He couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity between them.

"We have a few tests to make sure you're ready for this," the Captain began and [y/n] just nodded in agreement to them all, not at all concerned about the fights she would face.

"What's your weapon of choice?" Natasha asked her and she merely shrugged.

"I have no preference, but I do enjoy using knives, although it is not particularly practised at SHIELD."

They all looked at her, sizing her up. The first of her tasks would be accuracy and the second a fight with each one of the Avengers, not including Banner and Vision. The third would be out in the field.

[y/n] passed the accuracy test with no hesitation. In fact, she passed with flying colours, hitting bullseyes on all the targets with each weapon she was given. Knives, guns and even Clint's bow. If he'd seen her, his mouth would have been hanging open in shock.

"Wow, okay then, that's amazing," Steve told her truthfully before continuing: "Do you think you're ready for the second task?" [y/n] nodded and Steve went to fetch everyone back to the gym. They all lined up against the wall on the right side of the mats.

"Okay, so [y/n], you have to win over half of these sparring matches. Then there will be one final test after this, but not today. Okay?" She just nodded, sizing up her opponents.

"Okay then. Natasha, you're first." [y/n] knew Natasha was efficiently trained in combat, but from her research, she has had a recent wound in her left shoulder.

They circled for a minute, and Natasha had guessed that this would be an easy one. She was definitely one of the better ones when it came to hand to hand combat. Natasha threw the first punch as a distraction and tried to kick her over but [y/n] caught her foot which made Natasha fall to the mat. [y/n] pinned Natasha's foot at an awkward angle and used her other foot to pin Natasha's other leg. Hands were easy and all [y/n] had to do was wait for Natasha to tap out. Which she did two minutes later after making no progress.

"Sam, you're up."

Sam saw her fight with Natasha and took it as a warning, trying to get a hit quickly before [y/n] had a chance to size him up thoroughly. He knocked her down but she quickly scrambled to her feet before Sam was able to do anything else.

She used her slight anger to give her extra power to take him down in less than a minute.

"Wanda."

They dodged punches and kicks easily before [y/n] even got a quick look at Wanda's powers. She pinned her to the mat and Wanda felt threatened and her powers responded before she did. A jet of red magic entered [y/n]'s mind and she flinched backwards, her mind overpowered with traumatic memories. A single tear escaped her eye before she whispered a single phrase over and over.

"Father, don't leave me." She began crying more intensely as her memory progressed. "Brothers, do not let him leave me."

"Wanda, do something," Steve hissed and she worked to try and release her spell. In under a minute, [y/n]'s mind was her own again. "[y/n], I'm sorry that Wanda lost control for a second there. We'll give you some time." Steve gently ushered everyone from the room but Thor adamantly refused to leave. He didn't speak, he just sat on one of the benches in the corner.

She finally composed herself suitably and accepted her loss at the fight with Wanda.

"Thor, may you ask everyone to return so we can finish this today?" she asked him politely and he obliged. Soon, everyone was back in the room and [y/n] didn't hesitate to ask them all to continue as if nothing had happened.

"If you say so, [y/n]. Peter, you're up." A relatively young boy approached her slowly.

"He's a child!" She cried, turning to face the Captain in disbelief. "I cannot hurt a child!"

"Your limits may be tested on this team. Peter serves his purpose here as to push you. And he is ready to accept whatever you do to him, so, yeah," Steve finished before motioning her to look around. She caught the kick heading straight for her chest and he just stood there, horizontally against her palms.

"What the hell?" She thought before using his defiance to gravity to her advantage, putting him in a headlock until his lips began turning a little blue and he tapped out.

"Tony."

Tony didn't have his suit, which was what worried him most. He'd just watched her put Natasha to the ground like she was a puppy and Sam and Peter had clearly been no challenge. She lost to Wanda only because of some creepy flashback trance that she put him in. He lasted as long as he could, trying not to let himself get caught in a headlock. Or any other kind of lock.

[y/n] eventually pinned him to the mat and he let up quicker than everyone else, knowing he stood very little chance of breaking her hold.

"Bucky, your turn."

The metal arm was what [y/n] perceived to be the biggest threat, and when the punches started, she noticed he did everything he could to avoid using his metal arm. She put the real arm into a lock, trying to force him to use the metal, to show her power against him. He got out of it quickly but still refused to use the metal advantage. This went on for five minutes before Steve intervened.

"Bucky, come on, she can clearly take a hit. Use both damn arms," he said smiling.

"Language," Bucky muttered before turning back to her.

"Oh, and [y/n]? You can go a little harder on the rest of us; our enhancements mean you won't cause too much damage," he called across the room and her eyes narrowed, challenging Bucky. They were quite evenly matched but over time, Bucky began to tire and [y/n] didn't so noticeably. She pinned him on the mat with her fingers on pressure points around his neck, causing Bucky's vision to go spotty. He fought her off but as soon as he stood up, he collapsed to the floor.

"He'll be okay, either give it ten minutes, or I can wake him up now if you'd rather," [y/n] called to a bunch of stunned faces.

"Now, please," Sam whispered. She placed her hands in very precise positions on his neck and squeezed gently. He sat up immediately, with a confused look on his face.

"What the actual fuck was that?" Bucky asked [y/n], confusion still written across all his features. [y/n] just winked before giving him a hand up.

"My turn."

Steve was apprehensive, to say the least; he'd just watched her beat his best friend and fellow supersoldier. He looked for weaknesses or any signs of fatigue, but she was showing neither. He knew she had already beaten half the team, so she was on the team pretty much whatever but he still wanted to win.

[y/n] was getting more and more confident as the fights went on, and she regained a winning streak. But she didn't let confidence cloud her judgement as she made her first move. She went for his legs, knocking him to the ground.

"Go for the legs," [y/n] whispered to him, whilst pinning him to the ground. Peter heard her and he laughed aloud. She pinned his arms but he freed one of his legs, bringing it up and kicking her square in the chest, winding her slightly and knocking her back a few feet. She managed to recover quickly and was on her feet again in seconds. They kept sparring at a quick pace, neither giving up but their strength evenly matched. This was what shocked everyone the most; she hadn't been exposed to a serum, as far as they knew, and she matched Steve's strength with ease.

Twenty minutes later, they were both still sparring. Steve was exhausted but he knew how to hide it and he guessed that [y/n] was doing the same thing, but she still had bundles of energy which she expelled on Steve. Steve began to struggle and [y/n] took her opportunity to take him down. A kick that knocked him over first and then she waited until he was getting back to his feet to deliver one final kick to the head to knock him out.

The gym fell silent as Steve's limp body fell to the floor. [y/n] did her trick to wake him up and he awoke in the same confused state as Bucky had half an hour prior.

"Thor, final opponent." Tony had taken over Steve's job, seeing him in no fit state to continue leading. Bucky helped Steve up and across the room to the side, out of the way of Thor and [y/n]'s upcoming fight.

"Are you not tired yet, [y/n]?" Thor asked her, almost mockingly.

"You should know that I'm not one to give up by now," she retorted, getting into a defensive stance. [y/n] could see Mjolnir resting against the wall in the corner, and she hoped that's where it would stay. The weapon would ensure her loss, but no one else had used their weapons so why would Thor be any different?

Thor threw the first punch, getting a sure hit to her abdomen, causing her to stumble back. She countered by hooking her foot around his ankle and he fell on top of her. She turned the tables, pinning his hands under his head and his feet together. He struggled and struggled before finally breaking her hold, flipping them over. Their faces were alarmingly close and [y/n] brought her knee up to knock his chin back so she could escape. They went back to throwing and dodging punches and kicks, with grace, even for Thor's large frame. It was like an art form, with a little more violence.

[y/n] was beginning to tire, she knew she needed to end this quickly else her chances of winning would diminish faster and faster. She managed to wrap her hands around his neck, bringing him around into a headlock. She was cutting off his oxygen a little too much and his lips began to lose their natural colour. He double tapped her arm to signal being done as he knew his voice would fail.

[y/n] had won all but one of the fights, and if Wanda hadn't used her magic then she surely would have won them all. Everyone was stunned. And [y/n] didn't even look tired. They all wondered how long she could go on for, among other things. But only Steve voiced his main question.

"Where did you learn to do all that?"

"My brothers taught me to fight. They taught me I couldn't depend on anyone but myself so I learnt the basics first and here I am now."

After [y/n] had answered his question so casually, Tony got a little braver.

"But how did you do that? You just overpowered two super soldiers, a master assassin and a demigod. That's crazy." He muttered the last sentence to himself but everyone caught it anyway.

"Practice, Stark. Years and years of practice."

"Who are your brothers? They must be pretty skilled themselves if they taught you all this," Natasha joined in with the questions easily, her tension still quite high even though their fight was hours ago.

"My brothers have long forgotten me. I recognise them, but they wouldn't know me if I was standing right in front of them," [y/n] said sadly. Natasha's tension disappeared and she felt her heart warm a little towards this new girl.

"We can do something about this, [y/n]," Thor said kindly but that just made her angry.

"Why's that? Why do you think I need them? I'm here now, that's behind me and besides, they think I died years ago. Shall we leave it there? See if the mighty Thor has enough brains to put this together." With that, she turned and left the room.

Thor was confused. He guessed she didn't want her family found but the familiarity didn't go away.

"I think we should leave that there. Give her a few hours, and if she hasn't come back then we can go and look for her," Wanda suggested. Wanda had seen a little of the inside of [y/n]'s head but not enough to get a clear picture. They all agreed and dispersed from the gym to different rooms.

*'*'*

Everyone guessed that [y/n] had left the compound but she had stayed. She had gone down to the temporary prison cells in the basement, to see Loki. Loki had faced away from the door so [y/n] took the opportunity to sneak in.

"Loki," she called across the cell and he turned around slowly. "Do you remember me?"

*'*'*

Three hours had passed and Steve was beginning to worry that you weren't coming back. He was stressing Natasha out with all his pacing across the kitchen tiles.

"Steve!" she shouted. "Will you calm down? [y/n] is capable of taking care of herself, that much was made very clear earlier."

"I know Nat but something feels wrong. Her family doesn't seem to add up."

"In time, she'll come to feel comfortable with the team, and she'll open up at some point." Steve sighed and sat down, his hands still wringing together.

"I guess so," he conceded and turned his attention to the TV in the corner of the room. Tony walked into the room and grabbed a drink.

"[y/n] back yet?"

"Not yet," Steve replied.

"Yes, I am," [y/n] said as she walked into the room. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat at one of the stools at the bar. Thor entered the room, surprised by [y/n]'s presence.

"You're back."

"Congratulations, genius, yes I am." Her tone was full of sass and Tony looked at her with approval.

"Okay, calm down then," he retorted quietly before continuing to say, "There was an issue with the cell Loki is being held in. I suggest you fix that Stark."

"Wait, an issue? Those cells aren't supposed to have issues." Tony left the room quickly, turning towards his lab.

"What kind of issue?" [y/n] asked, worried.

"What's it to you?" Thor was beginning to become annoyed with [y/n] and her behaviour towards him. Everyone else treated him with relative respect but this new girl didn't seem to care at all.

"I'm curious. And stop looking at me like that. You don't have to be so offended every time I open my mouth." [y/n] was being defensive purely because she knew that she would be found out; Tony knew how to install cameras and FRIDAY was on constant watch.

"Well, you don't have to be so defensive."

"Well, you don't have to be so irritating."

"Well, you don't have to be so controlling, you just got here."

"Well, you could at least recognise me." Her words stopped him and he looked at her in confusion. He didn't have a clue what she was on about.

"What do you mean?"

"Was there never anyone you always argued with as a child?" [y/n] asked softly, her tone drastically changed.

"Yeah, [y/n/n] but she's de... "

"Hello, brother."

*'*'*

Thor had just frozen as [y/n] left the room. She made her way down to the gym and cursed her stupidity. She'd sworn to herself - and to Loki - that she wouldn't tell Thor immediately. And what did she go and do? Tell Thor. She used the punching bags as an outlet and quickly lost herself in the rhythm.

Back in the kitchen, Thor still hadn't moved. Steve was beginning to think the guy had gone into shock.

"Thor? Come on, man. Talk to me," Steve repeated, snapping his fingers in front of his face, getting no reaction.

"She can't be; [y/n] died years ago," he muttered. Steve was happy that he had spoken but worried still. He went to walk out the room as soon as Tony reappeared.

"Okay, before you go, just a quick thing. There wasn't an issue with the cell, it was [y/n]. Why would she break in to see Loki?" Clearly, there was something he had missed and he was eager to find out but the look Thor gave him stunted his enthusiasm for answers.

"I thought [y/n] died years ago, I didn't even recognise her. Of course, Loki would though, he was always her favourite. I should have noticed."

"Wait, she's your sister? That explains a lot." Tony's comment only angered Thor more.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at it this way, Pointbreak. She beat you in a fight. Only another Asgardian could do that. Some of her mannerisms didn't quite fit her story; the knives for example. No, SHIELD does not train with knives, so there would have to be somewhere she trained with them. Your brother seems to specialise with daggers, ever think of that?" Tony's points were valid however Thor tried to argue against them. He couldn't accept that his sister was not only alive but also that she kicked his ass.

"Stark, can you show me their conversation?" Thor asked and Tony got it up on the TV in the corner.

Loki had faced away from the door so [y/n] took the opportunity to sneak in.

"Loki," she called across the cell and he turned around slowly. "Do you remember me?"

"How did you get in .. wait [y/n/n]? I thought you .. Odin told us you died whilst on a trip to Earth, all those years ago," he said, confusion written across his face.

"Yeah, it's me, Loki. In the flesh." He rushed across the cell and pulled her into his arms.

"I missed you so, Sister, I thought about you so often."

"How did you end up in here?" she asked, her hand cradling his face. He looked truly relaxed for a moment, his eyes closed.

"It was a mistake, a series of mistakes, that lead me here. Thor agreed to take me from Asgard, as Mother's death hurt us both too much to stay," Loki mumbled.

"Mother died?" [y/n] asked, her eyes wide. Loki nodded slowly.

"Protecting Thor's Midgardian girlfriend," he spat, his distaste like venom. "Why didn't you find me when I was here before? After you died, everything went in a downward spiral. Thor ... I lived in his shadow," Loki changed the tone, mournful.

"I tried to get to you but I was keeping off of SHIELD's radar and that would have drawn attention to me. And, I thought you hated me," [y/n] breathed and Loki flinched away from her words.

"Hate you? How could I ever hate you?"

"What Odin told me when he banished me to Midgard: I'd hurt you and you hated me for it. You remember when I hit you too hard over the head, as children? Odin told me you wouldn't wake up for years, and that you'd hate me when you did. So he left me on Midgard and ordered Heimdall not to let me come home. I kept the secret of being from Asgard when a family adopted me. They loved me, more than Odin ever did. A daughter was never any use to him," [y/n] said sadly, retracting her hand from Loki.

"[y/n], I could never hate you," he told her sincerely. He turned away from her and she caught a look at how defeated he was, pacing around this cell. A noise was heard on the stairs and a panicked look crossed [y/n]'s face.

"Loki, I have to go but I'll come back, I promise," [y/n] swore, giving him one final hug.

"Don't tell Thor you're back," he asked and she nodded before disappearing.

Thor's memories were swirling and he was fighting to keep a stoic face.

"Wait, so she's your not-so-dead Asgardian sister who got herself banished years ago, and directly avoided SHIELD, who is now directly involved with SHIELD and us?" Natasha asked bluntly and Steve elbowed her.

"Where is she?" Thor asked, his voice quieter than usual.

"In the gym," Tony answered quickly and they followed Thor down to the gym, where [y/n] was furiously beating a punching bag.

"[y/n]!" Thor called across the room and she whipped her head around so fast. She frantically looked for an exit. "No, [y/n], just hear me out," he pleaded and she stopped.

"Okay."

"[y/n], I'm so sorry," he began walking towards her but she stopped him.

"If you're going to explain, you stay there." He nodded and stopped moving.

"I didn't recognise you because I thought you were dead. And you changed so much; the last time I saw you, it was so many years ago. Besides, Father seemed so destroyed after he came back to Asgard, telling us the terrible news. He always loved you so, I never considered any other options. You were always his favourite."

She laughed.

"I was never his favourite. That was you. Loki and I lived in your shadow, Mother liked us more and now I know she's dead. Father's getting old too, so surely he'll die soon. And I'll still be on Earth, never able to see him again. Not as if he'd want to see me," she told him harshly.

"Whatever happened, for you to earn banishment?"

"Before I 'died' I started trying to keep up with you and Loki. Father didn't approve of me, his only daughter, trying to be a fighter, so he kept warning me of the consequences. I never listened, not believing that my own father would actually banish me. And here we are," she said stoically, masking the tear that was threatening to fall.

"Why did you go and see him?"

"Because I wanted a brother to recognise me, and you didn't so he was my other option." [y/n] could feel her patience dwindling. "Brother, I'm glad you're okay. I'm surprised you're not king yet but I should go. It was a mistake to try this."

"Wait, [y/n]," Steve called from the back of the room. "We all agree, you should stay. You'd be a great asset to the team, Thor's sister or not." She sighed.

"I can't stay here knowing you have my brother locked in a cell downstairs."

"He deserves that," Tony said fiercely.

"Could I at least be able to see him?"

"We'll talk to the rest of the team, but I'm not saying no," Steve reassured her and she nodded in thanks.

"Okay then."

"Welcome to the Avengers, [y/n]."


	7. Post-Serum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rogers/Barnes x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: none

I did a lot of training with Bucky, despite all of Steve's arguments and his never-ending list of reasons why it's too dangerous. Today, almost all of us were in the gym, under Steve's strict orders not to skip another session. Only Thor didn't show up, mainly because he was back on Asgard. And, you know, he is a god.

Natasha and Clint were wrestling on a mat, Tony was lifting weights and Wanda and Vision had disappeared the moment the Cap turned his back. Typical. Bucky was quietly talking to Steve in the corner, both of them sneaking glances my way every so often. I was beating the crap out of the bag hanging in front of me. I was taking out all my anger on it. All my sadness had changed into the rage in front of me and I couldn't seem to stop. My knuckles began stinging but I brushed it off, keeping going at my bag.

It wasn't until the bag split open and little grains began spilling out and all over the floor that I stopped. I unhooked it from the stand and laid it on the floor. I was about to attach another bag when I noticed the silence in the room. Natasha and Clint were a tangle of limbs, unmoving and staring at me. Tony has two weights dropped at his feet and he, also, was staring at me. I didn't even need to look over at Bucky and Steve to figure out what they were doing.

Staring.

"What?" I snap, my voice harsher than I intended.

"I've only ever seen Cap smash up a bag like that," Clint said, in awe almost. Tony looked impressed ... for Tony anyway. Bucky had a huge smile on his face and I tried to return it but my energy was so low. Steve was just shocked. Natasha had a confused expression on her face then it rapidly switched to one with a plan.

"No, Nat. Whatever you are going to say, I say no." I beat her to get some words in before she started talking.

"Aww you don't even know what I was going to say," she whined.

"Well, darling, I could predict that it was going to be something I wouldn't want to do," I said, smirking.

"Let her speak," Bucky said, laughing at Nat's expression.

"Thank you, James," she said, making him cringe. She laughed back at him then turned to me, her face a little more serious.

"Can you train with Steve for a bit? I think we should just test something out for a minute." Steve groaned and I raised my eyebrows at the challenge.

"Really, Natasha? I don't think that's necessary," Steve counters but I step in.

"Scared of a challenge, Rogers?" I smirk, stepping up to the mat as Natasha and Clint untangle themselves and I rolled my eyes at Nat's pointed look.

"Never, but I don't think it's necessary," Steve said, slowly sauntering forward. Tony immediately told FRIDAY to save the footage of this room, starting now.

I began to circle, Steve following my lead. I'd seen the Captain fight a lot so I knew his basic moves. He didn't have his shield, obviously, so I had one less thing to worry about. Clearly, I knew he wouldn't actually hurt me, at least not intentionally so that was also another thing not to worry about. Bucky was standing on the sidelines and Clint and Tony just made a bet.

I made the first move, knowing that Steve wouldn't. I threw a punch to distract and ducked his retaliation, taking out his weaker leg. He falls back and I pin his arms above his head, holding down his legs with mine. Before long, he flips me over and is alarmingly close to me. I take this moment of awkwardness to turn the tables again and this time he's lying, face down on the mat, his arms roughly twisted behind his back.

With 30 seconds on no give, I release him, standing up and backing away.

"Damn, girl, congrats," Nat squealed, running over to me.

Clint came over, a twenty in his hand and Tony had a disappointed look on his face.

"How did you do that?" Bucky asked me, in awe. I just took down Steve Rogers and he's confused why. I get it. He's the super soldier and I took him down, no sweat. I shrug but he's not letting it go that easily.

"Answer the question, [y/n]," he insisted and I sighed.

"I don't know," I said, trying to keep my calm. As strong as I was, Bucky had a metal arm. I can't compete with that. Wanda and Vision returned to the room, and Bruce joined us.

"[y/n], can I speak to you?" Bruce asked me and panic washed over me. He found out.

"What's up?" I ask, staying casual. I noticed that Steve had left the room. Probably embarrassed. He lost a fight with a 5'4 girl. That's got to hurt his pride.

"Privately," he stressed and I internally screamed.

He must know. I begin to walk out the door with him but Bucky stops me with his cold, metal hand around my forearm.

"[y/n], what's going on?" He asked, his grip a little too tight.

"Bucky, this is personal," I said, getting a look from Bruce. He knew what I was saying, right? He wouldn't release my arm and I could feel the bruise already forming. Crap.

"I just want to clarify what's going on first with [y/n], then we'll decide if the team needs to know," Bruce said, calmly.

"What does the team need to know?" Clint asked, joining the conversation. I huffed and was ready to walk out when Steve came back into the room, my hospital file in his hand.

No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No.

He didn't read it, did he? I make a lunge for the file but he uses his 6' frame to his advantage, holding the file way above my head. And Bucky is still holding my arm.

"What the hell is this?" Natasha asked, coming over with Tony.

"Ask [y/n]. She's been keeping secrets from the team. And this isn't the first time, is it?" Steve said, with such malice in his voice that a growl releases itself from my throat and I rip the file from his hands, tearing it to shreds. I begin to walk away, out of the way, preparing myself to leave the Avengers life when a pair of metallic handcuffs zip through the air and tighten around my wrists. They attract to the magnetic plates on the wall, locking my hands above my head.

"That was harsh." My voice turned emotionless, scaring me as it reminded me of myself, a long time ago.

"Tell everyone what was in that file," Steve commands and I exhale deeply.

"Let me explain it first, start at the beginning, okay, Captain?" I say, my voice regaining its usual sarcastic tone.

"Do you remember when I went missing, around 5 months ago?" Bucky's face crossed with anger and hurt but quickly masked with a stoic expression.

"The man who kidnapped me wasn't HYDRA like I told everyone. He was just a man, driven crazy by his desire to solve a problem. I was the third person he had kidnapped, the other two were dead and dying, no longer of use to him. He had recreated the serum used on Steve, successfully. My blood type matches Steve's so it worked on me. I have the same abilities as him, but I was never as pure as him. What happened earlier was a key example. I was mad so I was taking out on that bag but I couldn't stop. I couldn't bring back the control. I'm a liability and it was best to keep it hidden. Keep me hidden. If HYDRA knew that someone had recreated the serum, that could be catastrophic. If HYDRA had 1000 men like Steve, or 100 or maybe even 10 then we'd all be screwed. Best leave it to the legacy of not being able to recreate it at all."

I couldn't look at anyone, I just bit my lip with closed eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, so low that I don't think anyone heard it.

"No-one would have known," Clint told me softly and once I opened my eyes, I saw his eyes full of sympathy.

"Yeah, think we couldn't handle having another supersoldier on our side?" Natasha joked. I shrugged.

"I thought it was best, I was trying to leave you out of the loop, it was purely to keep the legacy of never recreating it, and leave Steve as the only Soldier out of Erskine's experiment."

"You've been a supersoldier for five months, and none of us ever realised?" Trust Tony to be so surprised.

I nodded. I pulled gently on the cuffs and they didn't move. I put more effort in, and they began slowly moving away.

"Can you take these off now? Or am I going to be arrest for lying?" No-one moved. "Seriously?" I put all my effort in and pulled them away from the wall, dislocating my thumb to wriggle them off my wrists. I left them staring at my back as I walked out the room, and left.

****-six months later-****

I took a deep breath. I was back at the tower, for the first time in months.

"[y/n]! Welcome back," Tony welcomed as I entered the building.

"Thanks, Tony. It's been forever."

"Yeah. Just a warning, things have changed quite a lot. Bucky, especially ... he took it hard. Steve, with his inbuilt righteousness detector, was trying to compensate for your leaving. But I kept your visit a surprise for everyone. I can do nice things sometimes." I thanked Tony before we left the lift and Natasha and Clint were sitting on the couch. Natasha jumped up and hugged me.

"I've missed you," she whispered to me.

"[y/n], it's been a long time," Clint greeted, quite formally. I matched his tone in my response.

"Yes, it has. I needed some time." I turned to Tony. "Where's everyone else?"

"Steve and Bucky are in the gym and I think Bruce is still in the lab," Natasha supplied. I thanked her and began to make my way down to the gym. This is going to interesting.

****-Bucky POV-****

"Bucky, you're distracted. What's going on?" Steve asked me. I sighed.

"I can't get [y/n] out of my head, man. It's getting ridiculous now." I looked up to see Steve staring straight past me, at the door.

"[y/n]!" I call, and a smile breaks out on her face. She runs over and hugs me, then Steve. "I missed you," I tell her and she nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, I just needed time." I take her reason and agree with it, I know what it's like to need some time and space. Steve left us, sending me a not-so-subtle wink as he closed the door.

"So, I'm stuck in your head?" She asks slyly and I gently push her. "Honestly, you've been in my head too."

I smiled and then she did something I wasn't expecting. She leaned in and pressed her soft lips to mine.

"I really like you Bucky," she mumbled and a smile spread across my face.

"I really like you too."


	8. Supers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Supergirl x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: I guess it's a taboo relationship, but it's barely there, imprisonment/cruel treatment

School bored me to death. And since I couldn't risk revealing myself, I had to stay.

My name is [y/n]. And my cousin Kara and twin brother Kal brought me here with them when I was a baby. I'm only 15 because I was in the same pod as Kara as a baby and was kept young as we were trapped together. I am one of the two last daughters of Krypton. The yellow sun gives me my powers. I want to help but I'm certain that either Kara or Kal will stop me, or the Avengers will figure out there is an alien living in New York City. Kara would take me to the DEO and then J'onn would probably lock me up, or Kal would be that quiet, persuasive kind of person and guilt-trip me into promising to stay out of trouble. The Avengers are aware of the aliens, but they have an agreement to keep them out of NYC. I break that agreement but I'm not causing any trouble.

A few weeks later, the Chitauri entered Earth and I had to help. I took off my signature lead-lined glasses and helped the Avengers. I saved Captain America's life. Not many people can say they have done that. But I knew the lecture I was in for when I arrived back home. Kara was beyond pissed and Kal was acting disappointed. Pissed I could take. But disappointed? Aw shit.

A week later, I came home after school to Tony Stark sitting in my living room. Kara was in National City like she was all the time and although the apartment was under her name, it was basically mine.

"Mr Stark," I said hesitantly.

"Hello, [y/n] Danvers. Where are you from?" Okay, so he knew. His stupid suit probably figured it out for him.

"I think you already know the answer. Don't play dumb."

"Well, okay, you got me. We came to ask politely if you'd come in and talk with us," he cut straight to the point. This is what Kara warned me about. But there will be no issue. I doubt they even know Kryptonite exists. I nod and ditch my schoolbag in the corner. Tony leads me to his car and we drive to the Avengers tower. I stay silent, listening to his research on me. Decent grades, no history, a few missed days when I was helping Kal out secretly, without Kara knowing.

We reached the tower and I was nervous. I was meeting the Avengers, who may or may not hate me, simply because of Kal, or Kara. We rode the lift up 26 floors and when the doors opened, all the Avengers were standing around a table. Not at all intimidating. Right?

"Guys, this is [y/n]." Tony caught their attention by being loud, and straight to the point. They all turned around.

"So, you're the girl who saved Steve's life last week," Natasha Romanoff stated, without any sense of uncertainty. I nodded.

"How?" Steve asked. He looked as if he didn't believe me.

"She's related to Superman and Supergirl," Tony cut in before I could reply myself.

"Wow, okay then." He raised his eyebrows at me and I sighed. That judgy look was a new one but I felt like that was the only look I'd end up getting.

"Okay, so I may be jumping the gun here, but I want to keep you under surveillance." I turned around sharply to look at Tony.

"Um, no thank you."

"You're a liability. And you're only 15."

"My age is irrelevant, Stark. I think you should let me leave." I go to walk back out when a hand catches my shoulder. I turn around to see it was a metal arm. Barnes. "I suggest you get off," I say, my voice low.

"Not an option, doll." I'm about to show him why he shouldn't have done that when the windows shatter and two people in red capes fly in. Kara looks mad. Crap.

"Okay, before you get mad," I begin, but Kal cuts me off.

"Too late [y/n]. Come with us, now," he threatens quietly and I sigh defeatedly. I wouldn't be able to overpower either of them alone, let alone both of them together.

"Wait, no, she's not leaving." Steve took a defensive stance in front of me. Bucky had let go of me, and now I just had to make my way around Steve without causing an issue between the most powerful people on the planet.

"Steve, you need to let me go."

"[y/n]. Now!" Kara called, anger lacing her voice.

"I'll come back," I whisper to him, slipping around him. He grabbed my arm.

"No, you won't," he replied.

"No, she won't," Kal agreed. The only way I could think of to make him let me go without hurting him was rash, but I took the chance. I planted a light kiss on his cheek and his grip loosened immediately. I took my opportunity and flew out the broken window with Kal and Kara griping my arms to stop me escaping. I let them basically carry me before I realised we were heading for the DEO.

That means I'm in shit. Alex'll be pissed, same with Winn and J'onn. Mon-El may be slightly more understanding, being Prince of Daxom and doing whatever he wanted. They hate the Avengers almost as much as Kal distrusted the DEO while they kept Kryptonite here.

We landed in the DEO and caught everyone's attention immediately.

"Hey, guys," Alex called, running over to us. She noted our expressions and instantly knew something was up. "What happened?"

"[y/n]. What were you thinking?" Kara shouted.

"Um, Kara, maybe we shouldn't do this is the lobby," Kal reminded and lead us both out the room, Alex, J'onn and Winn following. Mon-El was a little slower than them, rushing to get in the side-room before J'onn locked the door.

"You were in the Avengers tower!" J'onn said as soon as the door was closed. I gave him a look.

"Get out of my head," I growled.

"They're dangerous!" Winn reasoned.

"And so are we. We're fucking aliens, and they don't scare me."

"Language," Kal muttered and I smiled. He'd fit in so well with Steve.

"Look, guys, they aren't going to hurt me; hell, I'd get them to try. That's not the point. You need to let me live. I'm 15, and I know that you count that as a child, but I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You're a child, and you need to be rationalised sometimes," Kara stated with finality.

"Then why do I live in NYC, where I don't see any of you guys often enough? I'm basically growing up on my own. That makes me adult enough to make my own decisions."

"Well, on Earth, you're not an adult until you're 18, so from now on, you'll do what you're told," Alex told me. I was shocked; she'd never been harsh or strict with me. But I brushed it off, determined to keep this argument going.

"How do you expect to do that? Keep me in check when I only see you twice a month? You'll have to lock me up to keep me in control."

"Then we can do that." Mon-El had been silent until then. Before I could begin to think straight again, Winn had brought in Kryptonite handcuffs on J'onns orders. Mon-El snapped them over my wrists before I could object. I felt instantly drained at the contact with the green metal.

"Is this necessary?" Kal asked, his eyes fixed on the glow that was making us all uncomfortable.

"Until we can drum some sense into her, yes it is necessary." J'onn's voice was cold and harsh, much like I'd imagined it to be when Kara first described meeting him to me. Mon-El grabbed my shoulder and took me down the metal stairs into the basement where there were a few containment cells were. I walked into one without hesitation. I sat on the floor beside the bed and closed my eyes. I heard his footsteps leave and I was alone.

**-**

The Avengers were waiting on [y/n] to return to them and, two months later, Tony had finally decided to pay her a visit. But he walked into her apartment and nothing had changed. His worry increased and he instantly phoned Steve.

Steve had been more affected by you, and he couldn't pin why. He was worried, to say the least, but he was also angry. [y/n]'s family had taken you away from him, without any reason. They weren't going to hurt you, and if you were related to the supers, then he didn't think he physically could hurt you anyway.

He gathered the team and they started trying to find you. It was two weeks before they even got a vague location. National City and Clint called in some favours with SHIELD and got a specific location. A tall tower building that was very out in the open. Some doubt crept into Steve's mind as maybe you had just decided to leave. But he pushed that aside and gathered the team for extraction.

**-**

The stupid cuffs were draining me and their power prevented Kal or Kara from seeing me. Winn visited occasionally and sometimes Alex would sneak in but until I was let out of this prison then I wouldn't speak. My stubbornness was very helpful, though it only angered them all the more. I barely ate and I ignored some of the agents when they attempted to get me to even move.

The alarm rang and I ignored it. I was too drained, both emotionally and physically. The Kryptonite was too strong as I was still in a child's body.

"It's the Avengers," I heard an agent yell and I perked up, only slightly. Kara would never let them get anywhere near me. Nor Kal, or J'onn. Winn was probably fangirling. Alex would try and take on Natasha, and I couldn't remember whose skills were better.

In the main hallway, Kara and Kal both flew in through the broken windows and they saw the damage that they had done. Kara ran over to Alex, who was lying unconscious on the floor. Kal tried to look around using his x-ray vision but the building was lead-lined.

"Check [y/n]," Kara told him and he sprinted down the hall to my cell. All the Avengers were in the room, looking at me through the glass.

"[y/n]!" Kal called and I didn't respond at first. Kal noticed the green glow and backed away slowly.

"What the hell? She's just a kid!" Steve yelled at Kal, unafraid as he shrunk into the corner.

"I didn't want to," Kal protested. His words just angered me.

"You didn't want to? You didn't do anything! You didn't argue with them! I've been here for two months and how many times have I seen you? None!" Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't care. "You're supposed to be my family, my fucking twin, yet you locked me up like any other criminal. With these goddamn cuffs draining me! How dare you!" He looked hurt. He deserved it.

"[y/n], I'm ... "

"No Kal. Don't apologise." I turned to Steve. "Can you get me out?" He nodded and Tony used a skeleton key to unlock the door. I collapsed into his arms and he easily supported my weight.

"Let's get you out of here," Natasha said kindly. I nodded, making a mental note to thank her properly later.

"The cuffs ... " I muttered and Steve broke them with his shield. He cast them aside and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I supported my own weight again; my mind was finally clear.

"[y/n], what do you think you're doing?" Kara shouted as she came through the door.

"No, Kara. You don't get to do this, play the caring cousin card. You lost that when you let them lock me in that cell. I'm going to go with them," I said, indicating the Avengers gathered behind me. "I wish we didn't have to leave like this, but that's on you."

"[y/n] ... " she started more softly but her tone only angered me more.

"No, Kara. I'm going with them, you can't stop me. We were sent to Earth for a chance at life, what's the point if you're going to lock me up? I may as well have died on Krypton."

My cruel words did their job, she let us leave, her stunned and hurt face burning in my mind. I had finally stopped crying once we reached where they had left their jet.

"Guys, do you mind if I fly back? It helps clear my mind," I say quietly and Steve nods at me sadly.

"Vis, will you go with her?" he nodded and we flew off at a slow pace, the wind on my face erasing any signs of tears. We reached the tower before the others, and I stayed outside, Vision watching me through the glass panelling. He meant well but it was kind of unsettling.

As soon as the jet arrived, I landed in the bay beside it, my footing slightly unsteady.

"I don't think I said it before, but thank you," I addressed all of them, gratitude seeping out of me.

"We weren't going to leave you there, were we?" Tony smiled as he stepped out his suit. His smile was reassuring; not something most people associated with Tony Stark's smile. Usually, it was more of a smirk.

But it felt more like a family than I recognised with Kara and Kal.

**-**

It had been four months since I was rescued and I had had no contact with anyone at the DEO or my cousin or my twin. I was settling into life at the Avenger's tower, and Steve had finally let me out with him on missions. It gave us a clear advantage when Clint snuck me on the jet the first time, so Steve couldn't argue with it.

I'm basically indestructible - what's going to happen?

We were in a mission briefing, about a base that they'd tried to take before but neither I nor Wanda had been there, so our help could win them this one.

My phone rang and one look at the caller ID caused me to ignore it. But he didn't stop ringing until everyone was looking at the phone.

"Is that ... ?" Steve asked, trailing off. At any mention of their names had set me off.

"Yup."

"Are you gonna take it?" Natasha asked and I shook my head. I seemed to be afraid of the phone; it seemed to have so much power over my mind.

"Nope."

"[y/n/n], maybe it would b ..." Bruce began slowly but I cut him off.

"No. I can't." I heard a small sound coming from the roof. I took my glasses off and used x-ray vision to see. Kara, J'onn, Kal and Mon-El. "Shit," I hissed and everyone looked at me.

"They're here."

***

I went up to the roof alone. Everyone else going would only make things worse.

"[y/n]?" Mon-El called across the roof and I stood still. "Come home, [y/n]. We want you back," he said more softly than before.

"No, you don't. You want me away from them," I say, jerking my head back towards the tower. I could see the truth in their eyes. Kal walked over to me, his eyes filled with sadness.

"[y/n/n], we want you back. These past months have been hell. I know we were wrong to try and restrain you." He placed a hand softly on my shoulder. "Please, [y/n/n]. Come home."

"Kal, my home was Krypton. You know that, just as well as I do, and Kara knows it better. But you can't try to control me like that again. We're family but you're not my parents. Give me some freedom, yeah?" I say quietly, still fully aware that they could all hear me. J'onn looked as if he was about to object when the roof door burst open and Thor walked to stand next to me.

"Lady [y/n], Stark requests that you return inside, with your guests," he said in his loud voice. Kara's eyes widened as his hand touched my shoulder.

"You heard the god," I laugh, herding everyone inside. J'onn changed back to his human form before entering. I whisper a thank-you.

This should be interesting.

**-**

We'd been standing in silence for the past ten minutes, everyone staring each other down. Wow.

"Okay, guys can we calm it? Please?" I asked, breaking the silence. All eyes were on me. "Tony, you asked them to come inside, you want to go from there? Warning, all of them are aliens,"

"Okay so bottom line: you imprisoned a child for two months. I understand what you're doing at the DEO but that was low, even for a secret government division."

"Stark, I suggest you watch it," Mon-El threatens but one look from Kara stops him in his tracks.

"What he's trying to say is that she's our family, and when someone breaks the rules, they're punished," J'onn justifies and Natasha just laughs.

"Nope, that's not a reason or at least a valid one. [y/n] can make her own decisions, and I think two months was a lot extreme, especially with the involvement of kryptonite," she kept her tone calm but her eyes told a different story.

"She's my cousin, you don't get a say," Kara retorts, her posture fixed and almost battle-ready. Shit.

"Calm it, Kara," Kal whispered only just loud enough for me and Kara to hear. But judging by Steve's expression he heard it too. His eyes narrowed slightly and I picked up on his gaze locking on his shield. Kara only closed her eyes and breathed.

"Okay, I'm going to break this up now. I get to choose, it's my life. Can I not have a half-way point? This world doesn't need a superhero fight, the threats to Earth are enough already without a civil war." My points seemed to calm everyone slightly so I continued, "I think that I should go with them, to begin with," I say, addressing the Avengers. I silenced them before anyone could argue. "They are my family, I can't abandon my twin or anyone else. Alex would be so pissed," I say with a small laugh, forcing Kara to crack a smile.

"But I'll come and visit you guys," I assure them, sincerity ringing in my voice. I could sense J'onn's discomfort at the idea but it was a peace offering. You have to compromise, plus I actually love these guys. I knew he could read my mind, as well as everyone else's in the room. He nodded slowly at me, in agreement.

"We flying back?" I asked my alien team and they all nodded. Mon-El sighed but agreed and Kara took his hand.

"Wait, how can you all fly back?" Clint asked, clearly looking at J'onn in his human form. We all laughed at their expressions as J'onn transformed back into his Green Martian state.

"I'll see you guys soon," I promised the Avengers and Steve smiled sadly at me.

"I've heard that one before."


	9. Happy Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings:
> 
> This chapter is just a very short mess of an idea

"Natasha where are we going?" I grumbled, not in the mood for whatever she had planned for the evening.

I was in a foul mood. I'd lost the role in my ballet show for a mission, that I failed anyway. It was my first solo undercover mission. And I messed it up big time. I'd had to be evacuated after the guy found out my ID wasn't legit. I'd been in the ballet studio beforehand, and Natasha didn't even let me dump my leotard or pointe shoes in my room. She simply threw me my long coat and a pair of boots that could fit over my pointe shoes.

"Just come on," she said and gave me no further hints. I did not expect it when she lead me into a theatre. Laura and Clint's kids were sitting in the front row, Laura's phone out ready to record. Bruce was sat behind them as well as Pepper and Jane. Vision was hovering at the front, wearing a suit.

The red curtain was down and I was now majorly confused.

Music I could recognise from anywhere began playing and I glared at Natasha. She shrugged and I sat begrudgingly down. It was Swan Lake, the performance I'd been thrown out of due to my lack of attendance to practices.

When the curtain was drawn upwards, I laughed aloud. Bucky and Steve in white swan tutus and leotards. They stumbled around the stage, trying to look graceful. From here, I could see the glitter covering them, reflecting off all the bright lights. They tried the Dirty Dancing lift but fell on their asses, laughing their heads off. Steve's balance was off and Bucky fell, using his metal arm to break his fall.

Tony showed up next in a red and gold leotard and a shimmery gold tutu, topped off with a golden crown with mock rubies. In typical Tony fashion, he oversold his character, doing some very ungraceful and technically incorrect leaps across the stage, almost stepping on where Steve was still lying, trying to regain his composure.

Nothing any of the three were doing was complimenting what the others were doing; it was three separate solos being performed at the same time. Steve and Tony crashed into each other and Steve fell on Tony, knocking his tiara off. It rolled around the stage with Tony chasing after it comically.

The wires at the top started lowering Clint down and he began randomly flipping everywhere, getting himself, and his ballet attire caught in the intricate wiring. He was going to have fun trying to get down. His leotard was covered in little arrows and pink bows lined his waist.

"What the hell?" I whispered to myself between laughs. The focus on Clint's face was hilarious as he furrowed his eyebrows and stared directed at the back of the theatre. Laura was laughing her head off and the kids were running around screaming with fits of giggles. I could tell her video would be very wobbly at the amount her hands were shaking.

Peter swung in wearing red and blue feathered tutu and matching headdress to try and help Clint or just to annoy him by showing off his webs. Back on the ground, Steve, Bucky and Tony were attempting pirouettes but failing drastically as they all became progressively dizzier and dizzier. The entire performance was making your eyes stream with how much I'd laughed and the song was only halfway through.

"You doing it wrong," Wanda laughed as she and Pietro entered the stage. Wanda looked the most presentable since she was wearing a deep red tutu and white tights and bodysuit. She was the only female wearing an actual female costume since all the boys were also dressed in tutus. Pietro joined in on the spinning, using his speed and quickly spinning straight off the stage. Wanda did a quick pirouette and was much closer than the boys to what it actually looks like.

Thor was in the background, trying to pull someone on stage. Loki's voice travelled over the music.

"I will not!" Tony stopped mid-turn, looking angry.

"It's either this or back to Asgard," he threatened and Loki appeared seconds later dancing with Thor. They managed to pull it off a little better since they were working in sync with each other rather than randomly dancing. They tried to avoid the fallen Avengers, with much success, Thor easily managing to pull off the lift Steve and Bucky failed to do. That was when I noticed the subtle web strings holding Loki in the air and Peter's concentration face as he held Loki up.

They all finished with huge smiles on their faces and I ran up to the stage. I jumped up and hugged each one of them in turn, except Clint who was still stuck in the harness in the air.

"I loved it, guys. That was great," I said, still giggling like a little girl. I turned to Natasha. "This was why you didn't let me change?" I asked and she nodded. I threw her the coat and the boots, and Bruce started the music again.

"Do you mind?" I asked them and they all lined up behind, giving me some space. Peter went back to trying to help Clint down.

I flexed my toes slightly, wincing at the pain before standing up on pointe, giving a small demonstration of an arabesque, then extending to a full 180 upright.

"Guys, this is how you pirouette," I said, laughing at their attempts to copy me. I begin to turn, at every rotation going on pointe, keeping my head fixed on a spot so I didn't get dizzy. I counted thirty rotations before I stopped, noticing everyone's eyes on me.

"Now walk in a straight line," Tony joked. I smiled at him and walked straight towards him without a single wobble. His jaw dropped in amazement. I saw a man in the back of the room in the reflection off Tony's tiara and my head whipped around.

"Miss [y/l/n], that was quite some turns," he complimented. I smiled, looking down.

"Thank you, Director," I said, proudly.

"I've brought someone who wanted to see you," he said, and I scrunched my face in confusion. Who?

My old ballet teacher and the studio owner walk down the rows of seats and a smile breaks out on my face.

"We would like you back," my teacher tells me and I hold back a scream of happiness. I nod and they say they'll call me. They leave as quickly as they came and I let out my energy with some jumps and flips.

"Well done, [y/n], you deserve this," Loki says and I brush off the strange feeling Loki's compliment leaves behind as the entire team envelopes me in a group hug.

"Guys, can you get me down from here? Seriously, this harness is too tight in all the wrong places!" Clint yells and we all laugh together.


	10. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Rogers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: violence, shooting, talk of suicide

The HYDRA base was vaguely familiar to me but I shook off the feeling as I took down two agents headed straight for me. All the bases look more or less the same, but there was a strange feeling that this recognition was more intense than that. 

My partner was Steve, the one and only Captain America, and we worked seamlessly together. He covered my six and I covered his. The rest of the team stayed on comms and we were nearly done with the base. We didn't even need a code green.

I only joined the Avengers pretty recently. Before that, I was MI7, British Intelligence, aka a spy. Clint had received similar training to me, though I had one key advantage. My meta-human ability of healing. My healing was enhanced to the point I basically couldn't die. I pretty much stopped ageing a while ago as well.

Key point: I think I was born in 14th century London.

I'm about 700, they didn't really keep steadfast dates back then so I'm never going to know. But the team don't know how old I am, in my file I'm 23. I look 23 so I'm not complaining.

"[y/n], keep up," Steve yelled back at me when I fell behind a little. I rushed to catch up and forgot to check my six. A bullet whizzed past Steve and into my arm. I grunted in pain but kept running, determined not to slow the team down.

Why do I always wear white?

Another HYDRA bullet hits me in the stomach and I keep running. Being able to recover from anything has done wonders for my pain tolerance. We burst through the doors and see that Tony has his suit on guard with all the HYDRA lackies on the floor with their weapons strewn out in front of them.

The computer buzzes and Tony removed the USB with all the files on it. Sometimes all this technology still baffles me. We cuff the HYDRA men and Natasha offers over comms that she'll drop them all back at SHIELD. Fury radios in and agrees.

One of the men manages to break free and blindly shoots at where Steve and I are standing. The bullets are about to pierce him in the abdomen but I dart in front of his, taking the hits. I knock him out quickly and watch Steve stare at me in wonder.

"Let's go," I say and I break his trance. We run out of the building, letting Tony stay on guard until Natasha brings the second jet around.

***

Back on the jet, I begin to feel the metal in my stomach and my arm. I lift my top and am about to grab the bullet with my hands when Bruce stops me.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Take a guess. I'm removing the ..." I counted up quickly. "the 6 bullets from myself. Is that an issue?"

"Yeah, you'll end up doing more damage than good!"

"Actually, if we leave them, then they'll start healing up and then that's worse." Before Bruce could argue any further, I ripped the first bullet out and instantly the skin around it healed, leaving nothing but a small red mark, that would be gone by tomorrow.

"How ... the what ... what the ... explain?" he stuttered.

"I'm enhanced. My healing is unparalleled. My pain tolerance is insane since basically nothing can kill me. A bullet to the brain only made me lose my memory. A fire just charrs my skin. An explosion didn't work either. Ever wonder why I always appeared unscathed? Or how I never ended up in the infirmary?"

During my little spiel, I removed all of the bullets from my stomach and I moved onto the one on my arm.

"Shit," I hissed, seeing the skin had healed over the bullet. "I wouldn't watch this if I were you," I warn the rest of the Avengers, and I take out my knife. None of them removes their gaze but Clint.

"[y/n]..." Steve starts but he stops as soon as I dig the knife into my flesh. I grit my teeth and wince as the skin rebreaks and the bullet eventually falls to the floor.

We sit in silence as they watch the skin heal and scar as if it's on a time-lapse. But it's happening right in front of their eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I say after the pain has totally subsided, leaving me guilty.

"Is there anything else?" Tony jokes and I give a small, apologetic smile. "There is?" he sighs, knowing his attempt to light the mood failed.

"That's for another day," I say with finality.

***

Natasha beat us back to the tower and she eagerly waited in the hangar for our return. Her face falls as she sees our sombre mood.

"What did I miss?"

"[y/n] has a secret," Sam said, slightly bitterly and I avoid her piercing eyes.

STEVE'S POV:

"I don't get why it's a secret. It's a good thing, right?" Bucky piped up as soon as she was out of earshot.

"It brings the real question though. If nothing can kill her, does that mean she isn't ageing because she can't get ill like the rest of us either? All age is the body degrading. Her file says she's 23, but that could easily be faked." Bruce's reasons seem to make sense, it's just all the lying that's getting to me.

The truth isn't complicated, and it causes fewer problems by far.

"I wish she'd told us, still," I say before leaving the room.

***

YOUR POV:

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. When I woke, the marks were gone and the sun was streaming through my forgotten curtains. They were wide open and I buried my head in the pillow before I heard a knock on my door.

"[y/n]?" Tony's voice floated through the door and I told him to come in. "Meet us in the conference room in ten," he said monotonously. His tone scared me somewhat but I quickly removed my uniform from the day before and made myself presentable.

I was in the conference room in 9 minutes and the entire team was sat around the table looking serious.

"Did I just walk into the headmaster's office?" I say, trying to lighten the mood. Only Clint smiled, and it was just a little smile. I'm in trouble.

They all looked at each other as if trying to silently communicate to tell someone else to start this off. It just made me smile more.

"Okay, should I start this then? You guys are pissed at me because I didn't tell you and you also want to know what else I'm not telling you?" Natasha shrugged and I knew I'd got it spot on.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Clint asked softly.

"It's difficult to talk about. I didn't want to be enhanced, it sucks. I wanted to be normal. My parents disowned me when they found out. My husband 'accidentally' lost any proof of our marriage. It's never been a good thing for me," I say sadly, trying not to let my emotions get to me.

"We still should have known," Steve says adamantly but Tony steps in before I can defend myself.

"Can't you tell she doesn't want to talk about it," Tony snaps and everyone's eyes widen at his tone. This is why I didn't tell anyone; it would cause drama and the Avengers don't need any more drama.

"Hold up, you were married?" Clint says and I nodded. "But you're 23 and it's not in your SHIELD file." I inhaled deeply, ready to finally confess.

"I don't know how old I am, only roughly. Because of my healing, so far I've figured I can't die. I think I was born in about the 14th century but it could be any earlier than that. I'm over 700 freaking years old; you know how many people I've met, friends I've made that I just watched slowly age and die. That's not something I want to advertise, thanks."

I watched recognition dawn on Steve's face since he knew partially how I felt. Peggy's death would have been horrid for him. He saw after the ice how she had changed, as well as how the world had changed. In one way, it probably would have been easier for Steve if Peggy had died before he found her since then he would have remembered her for how she used to be.

Everyone in this room has been touched by the death of someone close, it's no secret. But simply with my lifetime, I've seen more death than everyone in the room combined.

The room was silent for a long time after I'd spoken. Everyone seemed very hesitant to say anything else.

"Guys just say whatever, I'm not going to be offended." I break the silence since I could tell it was starting to get uncomfortable for everyone else as well.

"I promise you don't have to answer but how do you know about the memory loss?" Bucky asked quietly. I sucked in a breath - I didn't expect that. I stayed silent for a minute and I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

"I'm sorry [y/n] I shouldn't have said anything," Bucky apologised but I shook my head.

"Don't apologise, it's fine. I didn't expect it, that's all. I got low, I was in such a bad place. Nothing was changing and I was getting to the end of how I could live like this. I woke up at SHIELD in 1947, having no recollection of anything. Agent Carter helped me recover a lot but there's still so much I'll never know. That I'll probably never find out, but I'm okay with that. There probably a load more things that if I knew them, it wouldn't be a good thing."

The room was silent for a while whilst they took in this new information about me. Tony was the next one to speak.

"What was the other secret you were talking about?"

I momentarily debate whether I should tell but I decide that they deserve to know, and I can bear the pain for a moment while I show them.

"I'll have to show you, and it may hurt a little, and I swear that I'm never going to use them in a fight," I say as a warning but before I can do anything, Steve stops me.

"[y/n], don't do anything that'll hurt, we don't want that." I smile at him but still prepare myself for this.

"You deserve to know," I say sadly and my face contorts in pain as silver claws emerge from between my knuckles, extending about 20cm out of my hands. I can't bring myself to meet anyone's eyes so I stare at the floor, my hands lying flat on the table.

"How?" I look up and meet Steve's eyes.

"How did Bucky end up with a metal arm? HYDRA. That base we were at, I knew it was familiar. They captured me and implanted the metal throughout my body. I've never been able to walk through airport security or get x-rayed - not that I ever needed to because people would find out." I retract the claws and my skin remains red around the knuckles for longer than everywhere else on my body. They'll heal over in a few days.

I could feel all the sympathy radiating off the team and I hated it.

"[y/n], is there anything else we should know whilst we are here?" Natasha asks me apprehensively and I nod, a smile on my face.

"One of the only perks, I promise you," I say. I close my eyes and project my healing ability. Instantly the bruising around Tony's eye disappeared and Bucky's knife marks on his real arm fade.

Smiles are all around and the tension in the room is gone.

"You should have just told us," Steve whispers to me. "We're a family, no matter our ages or abilities." I hug him and he hugs me back.

"Is this the most action you've seen since the 40s?" Tony jokes and Steve goes bright red.

Back to normal then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's kind of a Wolverine character but that is something I want to see in a film anyway. Wolverine and the Avengers would be great :)


	11. The Princes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor/Loki x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: Parent Death

"The princes wait for you," one of the guards told me, as I tried to sneak out the door. I sighed and stepped out, getting a full view of the princes. It wasn't that I was shy or anything. My ten-year-old self was trying to recover from losing my parents in battle. I had no doubt that Loki would try and make me cry. That's all he did and now he had extra excuses. Before their deaths, I had been to the palaces before to play in the gardens with the princes, seeing as our parents are great friends. Were. Were great friends.

"Come on, y/n!" Thor called out, holding a hand out for me to grab. I hesitantly took his hand, seeing Loki's smug expression. It worried me greatly and I began mentally preparing myself for his snide comments that would fly over Thor's head but hit me hard.

As I took Thor's hand, Loki's expression changed slightly and he frowned a little. I brushed off his expression.

Thor took off running, dragging you behind him, and Loki followed behind us. We were laughing and chasing each other around the gardens for hours on end. Everything was going as normal; we were just three friends playing as children do. Finally, I was carefree, letting go of the sadness and forgetting Loki's trickery.

"Okay, I'm tired," Loki huffed, clutching his stomach, breathing air through his burning lungs.

"Let's play another game," Thor chimed, still bouncing with energy.

"What game?" I asked eagerly, still trying to catch my breath.

"What about hide and seek?" Loki suggested excitedly.

"Yay, who's going to be the seeker?" Thor asked and I volunteered. I counted to one hundred, hearing their pounding footsteps slowly get quieter and quieter.

"Ready or not, here I come!" I shouted, instantly scanning the gardens in the easy hiding places. I could already see Thor's larger frame behind one of the statues. I smirked and ran around silently. I tapped his shoulder, making him scream.

"I need to find a good place next time," he muttered and I chuckled.

"Yes, you do. We need to find Loki now," I remind him and we both take off looking around for the green-clad boy. Needless to say, it was more difficult than finding Thor. I looked everywhere, trying to find him desperately.

"Have you found him yet?" Thor called across the garden. I shook my head and his eyes widened. His gaze travelled up to above my head and I cringed heavily as cold water fell on my head. Water dripped from my face and my hair, soaking every limb to the bone.

My emotions completely bypassed sadness or surprise, and I was straight-up angry. I heard his snickering behind me and his cruelty broke me down. I couldn't hold it in, and I just cried. Thor's face softened and he enveloped me in a hug, despite my wet clothes.

"Come on, I'll take you to Mother."

**23 years later**

My day was looking down. It was the anniversary of my parent's death and I couldn't face anyone. I stayed in my room in the palace all day, asking the guards to let no-one in. Apparently, they didn't get the memo.

Loki and Thor burst into my room around midday and they were obviously taken back by my appearance. I'd been crying most of the day and my hair was a mess from lying in bed. I couldn't even bear to turn around and face the princes.

"y/n, what's going on?" Thor asked softly, sitting on the bed next to me. Loki stood awkwardly by the door. I shook my head and Loki just rolled my eyes at me.

"She's just being melodramatic," Loki chided and it took everything for me not to snap at him.

"Shut it, Brother," Thor defended me and I smiled weakly.

"It's been 23 years," I whispered and I saw Loki's face soften slightly. "And, what, so now you care? No. You're constantly being awful to me, you can't shift and start caring when I mention something sad. Just don't bother Loki."

He looked a little hurt before masking his face and storming out of the room. I felt instantly bad.

"That was a bit harsh," Thor commented softly and I nodded in recognition.

"I know, but he's always a dick to me, and when I say one thing, it hurts him that much? This kind of thing is allowed to work both ways," I argue quietly and Thor has nothing else to say. He just sits with me, an arm encircled around my shoulder in comfort.

It was finally time for dinner, and I fixed my hair and covered up my red eyes and puffy cheeks with a little makeup. Thor got one of the maids to grab me a dress and he left the room so I could meet him in the hall.

"How do I look, Freya?" I ask the maid who's helped me into the excessive dress and styled my hair.

"Beautiful, your highness," she replies formally and I shake my head at her.

"Freya, I've told you to call me y/n, I'm not a royal by blood and I'm not going to get married into the family either," I say with a small laugh. She smiles and I recognise the glint in her eye that she disagrees with my words.

"What is it? Do you think otherwise?"

"There are rumours, Lady y/n, that one of the princes has developed a fondness for you, around the palace guards," she says shyly, staring solely at the ground.

Really? It could only be Thor, Loki hated me too much. But I couldn't return the feelings. Thor was always the big brother I never had. I decided only to bring it up if he did, and Freya agreed with me, with a timid knowing smirk.

The dress was beautiful. It was long and a deep emerald-green colour, with glowing gems around the bodice. Long satin gloves covered my hands and my hair was pinned up with crystal clips into a cascading waterfall effect.

As I entered the hall, both the princes appeared by my sides. I was a little wary of Loki but Freya's words had warped my perception of him and I was prepared to give him a chance. Thor linked his arm through mine and his beaming smile was infectious. I put my other arm through Loki's and the surprise on his face was evident.

We approached where our friends were standing and Sif raised her eyebrows at me. I shook my head, not doubting that she would grill me for details later on. The party had well and truly begun, lots of drinking was occurring but I saw Loki sneak off.

"I'll be back in a little bit," I whispered to Thor and he saw where I was looking.

"Please, [y/n], be gentle," Thor replied, his voice low for the first time, "He's not in a good mindset right now."

I took his words with me as I walked through the door I'd just seen Loki exit.

"Loki," I called as I left the hall, hoping he hasn't gone too far. I could just about make out a figure standing on the balcony, and his Raven-black hair made him easily identifiable. I managed to get to the balcony without attracting his attention, only seeing him notice me when I rested my arms on the wall next to him.

"Hey," I started, not knowing what to say. I'd come out here with resolution, a plan, but that all seemed to disintegrate when I got near him. "Are you okay?"

I got no verbal reply, only a shaking of his head.

"Anything I can help with?" I asked, resting my hand gently on his. He turned to face me and I could see the tears misting over his eyes and the sadness etched onto his face.

"I don't deserve this, but ... " he trailed off, shaking his head. "Nevermind."

"Please, tell me. I know we haven't always got on the best b..."

"That was my fault! I've tormented you all these years, being such a bad person just for you to notice me, to be different from Thor. For you to see my as something different to your sibling relationship. Now I see I was just pushing you further away," he rushed through, his outburst startling me slightly.

"There are rumours, Lady y/n, that one of the princes has developed a fondness for you"

Freya's words came back to me and I simply stared. I was so sure that Loki was the one she spoke of now, when before I'd been adamant that it wasn't. I took his hands in mine, forcing him to face me fully. In a moment of bravery, probably helped by the alcohol, I pressed my lips to his, hearing his sharp intake of air in surprise, before responding eagerly.

"So you finally took my advice," Thor boomed from across the courtyard, a huge smile adorning his face, and money being exchanged behind him between Sif and the Warriors Three. Loki rolled his eyes at his brother and took my hand, teleporting us away to his room.


	12. We All Have Our Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barnes/Thor x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: family death, guilt, brief conversation about Anorexia, abusive parent (mentioned), intense scarring

Everyone was complaining about Steve introducing a working diet, counting calories over everyone's shoulders and practically sealing off all the junk food from the world.

Breakfast was funny. Steve, Sam, Bucky and Natasha ate healthily without complaint but Tony was constantly grumbling about his favourite foods that didn't fit into Steve's plan. Clint just snuck extras, almost always getting caught, like a naughty boy in a playground. His picture of innocence would never get old as Steve told him to empty out his pockets. Wanda was more sneaky but the Cap soon cottoned on to her tricks. Vision didn't eat anyway yet he just sat silently at the table, with a wistful look on his face. Thor was angriest about his beloved pop-tarts being off-limits and he doesn't understand the concept of subtlety so whenever I had tried to sneak him one, we got busted.

Personally, I didn't find fault with the diet. I mean, I didn't follow it but I didn't exactly break it either. Breakfast was usually too early in the morning for me to even contemplate eating. Lunchtime came and went without me noticing. And Cap's algorithm for our food allowance was easy to change. I learnt quickly that Cap didn't want us to eat more, but he also wouldn't let us slack off getting our energy boosts. So I alerted it slightly, lowering my portion sizes whenever I got a hand on his tablet. Also, Cap didn't understand passwords that well, so he didn't bother with one.

Whenever I ate, I had that sick feeling in my stomach and my nerves and suspicion took it way too seriously. But I still did eat. I don't have an eating disorder if that's what you are all thinking. The thing is that I just eat when I feel like it, I don't conform to specific meal times. Steve says it's just my way of being awkward and he's probably right.

Lunch was the meal most of them got away with. You just had to be careful that Steve, Sam or Bucky didn't walk in while you were stashing chocolate pop-tarts for Thor to enjoy when he was alone. Natasha didn't really care, she shrugged it off, saying her current favourite phrase:

"As long as you work it off."

I was training lots recently. A lot more than maybe I should. Steve seemed enthusiastic about my extra work ethic but I think Bucky was beginning to get concerned. So I avoided him mostly. I ran for hours on the treadmill and worked for hours against the dummies. I worked on my aim and kept my flexibility up.

Before I was a part of the Avengers, I was into Acro. Before this, I was a world-renown dancer but she died. Officially, I died but SHIELD helped me set up a new name, a new history and a new life with the Avengers. But I miss dancing. So I try and keep my flexibility up and I try and keep my tricks up to the same standard they used to be. I don't think I've improved but I haven't gotten worse.

I'm stretching when Clint, Natasha, Thor and Tony walk into the gym. I keep working, not letting their presence distract me from my exercise. I'm doing a stand-up split stretch when Tony comes up behind me.

"That's pretty impressive flexibility you got there," he commented, walking past me to the weights. It's an unspoken rule not to try and put each other down when we're in training, so I'm unprepared for his seemingly harmless comment. Not long after they've all entered, Steve, Sam and Bucky walk in, talking quietly. I see the reflection of the mirrored wall that each one of them steals a glance my way every so often. I ignore them, switching legs. My left leg is slightly wobbly as I fully extend it upwards, pointing my toe out of habit. Some lyrical music comes over the system quietly and I let the music wash over me, calming my rising tension.

I go down into box splits, arms stretched out to my feet. I feel my tense back relax and my roll my shoulders a couple of times. I hear footsteps coming towards me and I'm too tired to look up and see who it is.

I see their feet stop by my head and I instantly know it's Natasha.

"Hey, Nat," I greeted, trying to get an understanding of her ulterior motives here. I sigh, standing up.

"I think Cap's diet thing going well for us, right?" she muttered in my ear and I couldn't see her eyes to figure out the intent behind that statement.

"Yeah, it's great," I said without emotion. Before I could roll my eyes at her expression to my response, Steve called everyone together.

"Okay, we have a sparring rota and I want to set up a leaderboard. Don't roll your eyes, Clint," he said, his voice jokingly but his face and posture serious.

"Okay, [y/n] and Clint on the mat," he said, his commanding tone clear. I winced at the harshness of his voice. It wasn't a tone I was used to nor one that I liked.

We circled or a minute then he threw the first punch, giving me free access to his open torso which he left momentarily unguarded. I winded him slightly and he recovered quickly, hooking his foot around mine, knocking me to the ground. I winced on impact but scrambled to my feet. I jumped over the sweeping leg to try and knock me over again but I was hovering six inches above the ground. I pinned Barton to the floor with no difficulty. He tapped out and I released his arms.

I grabbed a drink of water from my shelf and my t-shirt rode up my back, exposing my scars. I quickly pulled it back down, but not quick enough.

"[y/n], how the hell did that happen?" Sam exclaimed, walking over to me.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, you're going to talk about it. Those are some serious scars!" Bucky shouted, rushing over to me. Steve stopped him as the anger was visible and overflowing.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I said quieter than before. My energy was drained and I leaned against the wall for support.

"Give the girl a break," Clint argued for me, taking a defensive stance in front of me. I was grateful to be hidden, even if it was only for a minute.

"No. It's important. We're supposed to be a team and we can't be a team if there are secrets."

"Let [y/n] be."

"She owes us answers."

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Can't you accept that?" I regained some energy, just enough to defend myself. "We all have secrets. All have things we'd rather not talk about. Sam, your ex-partner in the military. Bucky, your HYDRA past. Steve, Peggy. I've never once pushed you to talk when you didn't want to. So why start with me now?"

I left them all there in a stunned silence as I left the room. I got to the living room before I couldn't continue further. I curled up on the sofa, tears flowing and memories swirling.

***

It was a while before anyone said anything. I knew they were all there, I wasn't deaf and Bucky doesn't exactly have the quietest walk. When he finally spoke, I was surprised that he was the only one in the room.

"[y/n]? I'm sorry," he began and I looked up. His hair was messy and his eyes slightly wild. I could see the sincerity in his eyes but something in me didn't trust him.

"Look, [y/n/n], we were all just shocked. None of us knew about the scars, and I don't think any of us were thinking straight when Sam called you out on them. I understand now that it's a tough thing to try and talk about and you calling us all out on our secrets put it into perspective. So, I'm sorry." I met his eyes and let his hand take mine.

"It's okay," I whisper, gently squeezing his hand. My energy was completely drained; I needed to eat. Bucky was still here, and I didn't plan on eating healthily. "Hey, I'm kinda tired, I think I'm going to go to sleep. See you later?" I say, standing up. I swayed slightly on the spot, before regaining my balance. Bucky's metal arm was on my back, ready to catch me if I fell. He flinched back as soon his he realised the contact between the metal and my skin.

"Okay," he said uncertainly. I walked back to my room and kept my act up until I was far out of Bucky's sight range. I fell back on my bed, silently sneaking a pop-tart from the stash I made for Thor. I ate it quickly and fell into a restless sleep.

***

BUCKY POV:

"[y/n]'s gone to sleep," I announced as I walked back into the kitchen, where Steve and Sam were waiting impatiently.

"What did she say?" Sam demanded before I'd even finished my sentence.

"Calm down, man. She's tired and stressed and I think we reopened old wounds," I said guiltily.

"You think?" Thor said, walking into the room. We all turned to face him.

"What would you know? You don't even live on this planet!"

"I met [y/n] a long time ago when I first came to Earth. She was a friend of Jane's' and we got along very well. She trusted me and she told me about her powers, shocking me when she could suddenly fly around me in circles. But she also told me about her childhood and her scars. And I can't say any more than that. She trusted me and I can not break that trust." We could all see the memories of [y/n] swirling in his eyes but Steve wasn't so patient.

"She should have told us, all of us. It should be on her record. I should know, I'm her captain. Secrets pull teams apart and that can't happen again." Steve was shouting, and I couldn't help but laugh as a memory of the Steve I knew from our childhood resurfaced, at how timid he was compared to now, he's shouting at a god. As Steve looked at me with the uttermost confusion and I was about to tell him, we all heard a scream. [y/n]'s scream. I was first out of the room, practically ripping the door off its hinges.

"[y/n]?" Steve said, his eyes darting around the room. She was asleep, tears streaming and low whimpers. Thor dropped his hammer, having previously had it ready to hit someone, rushing over to her bed.

"Hey, [y/n/n], it's okay, he's not here," he whispered, gently shaking her awake. She sat up, shaking slightly before her eyes landed on Thor and she threw her arms around him, the shaking more visible now.

She was whispering things to him and he was comforting her, rubbing her back and murmuring things too low for us to hear. Tony left the room but I barely gave him a second glance.

My attention was too focussed on the way [y/n]'s slender but muscular arms were wrapped around Thor's broad shoulders.

***

Your POV:

I began calming down, my breathing regulating and my mind gradually clearing.

"Thank you," I whispered in Thor's ear as I pulled away. I was startled when both Steve and Bucky were standing in front of me.

"Have you been standing there the whole time?" I asked, my voice still a little shaky.

Steve nodded and I sharply inhaled.

"What did you hear? Well whatever, you heard whatever you heard. I can't reverse what happened or what I did. So hate me or make me leave. Go for it."

"[y/n], we didn't hear a thing," Steve said, his eyes full of concern. Bucky hadn't made a sound and I was worried what he was thinking. I nodded at Steve in gratitude for no questions, squeezed Thor's hand gently, thanking him silently.

Tony and Sam walked into the room. Tony had a beige file in his hand and my eyes widened at the sight of my old name. I walked towards him, took the file from his fingers and landed a harsh slap across his face.

"Keep out of it Stark," I whispered threateningly. "Not your secret."

I left the room, burning the file in my hand. This was the first time I had used my pyrokinetic abilities in years and it was all Stark's fault.

I didn't get far before my emotions took over again and I leaned against the wall, sliding down the wall and crying for the second time today. I could still hear all the men talking and Stark's voice was most prominent.

"She killed her family."

"You don't know the whole story Stark," I heard Thor argue, clearly trying to protect me.

"What is there to explain, Thor? She's been lying to us the whole time and not just about her family," Stark argued back and I stood up, ready to face them again.

"She's got abilities which we should have known about. She's..."

"Pyrokinetic." I threw the door open again, a fiery figure dancing in my hand.

"My dad hurt me when I was a teen. I took the hits but then he turned to my little sister. Starting trying to hurt her when I wasn't around. But I couldn't let her get hurt. I interfered and he got pissy so he began the torturing. It wasn't hitting me when he was drunk, it was locking me in the basement, hanging from the ceiling as he carved stripes into my body. I don't think you're going to get this, but it hurt. It still hurts. Every single day when I get up in the morning I can see exactly what he did to me, I could tell you exactly what knife he used and what day he used it. So one day, I couldn't take it anymore. I thought he was the only one home. I had been strung up in that room for 4 days when I finally had had enough. So I lost control, so I killed him, made my entire house collapse to the ground, my little sister sitting in her bedroom, concentrating on a maths problem and my mother sewing up a button on the couch. And I live with that every day. And you know what, it was starting to go away. I was finally moving past it, accepting it as a part of my past, something I couldn't control. Then you saw it and I lost it. I burned that file and it was the first time I used this power in years. I'm done, you got what you wanted and now I need a minute," my voice cracked at the end, and I turned around, unable to face them any longer. I left the room, exiting the tower.

And I ran.

***

Finally, I returned to the tower. It was dark so I assumed everyone was sleeping.

What a stupid assumption to make when Tony Stark lives here.

"[y/n]?" Thor said, running off the couch when I walked into the room. He pulled me into a hug, glad that I was back. I would say home but I don't call anywhere home anymore.

"I'm okay," I whispered to him, my lips pressed up against his ear.

"[y/n]," Steve began cautiously, hoping I wouldn't fly off the handle at them again.

"Look, I'm sorry," I say before they can get another word in. Steve's confused eyes met mine.

"No, [y/n], we should be apologising. We pushed you too far," he reasoned.

"Can we just move past this?" I sighed, hoping it could happen. They all nodded, although I could feel the curiosity in the air like static electricity. "I know you all want answers and I can't promise anything but maybe one day you'll get them."

They nodded and I left the room and fell easily into a light sleep.

***

I woke up to the sound of screaming. Not my own but the walls weren't exactly thin. Bucky's room was right next door. I should do something, I thought, walking out of my room and gently pushing the door open. I shook him awake and his breathing became heavier and heavier, almost to the point of hyperventilating.

I was there to comfort and I completed my task well. I don't think he realised it was me because when he calmed down and looked me in the eyes, his first emotion was shock.

"[y/n]? I didn't realise it was you," he whispered, his voice unreliable and his thoughts misty.

"Yeah, it's me. I couldn't sleep and then I heard you .. I'm sorry if I crossed a boundary," I said slowly, standing up and preparing to leave. I had my hand on the door when he made a sound.

"[y/n]?"

"Yes, Bucky?"

"Don't go." His words were packed with vulnerability. I returned to the side of his bed, sitting tense whilst he lied down, his face relaxing as I ran my fingers through his hair. it relaxed me to see him so at ease with my touch.

"Will you stay with me?" he murmured, half asleep already.

"Always."

***

I woke up encased in a heavy arm. I shifted slightly to see Bucky calm and not carrying the memories of the Winter Soldier. My slight movement woke him he gave me a real smile.

"How are you?" he greeted, his voice sleepy.

"Happy. I know nothing happened last night but I slept the best I have in months." I smiled, relishing the feeling of waking up next to Bucky.

"I want to thank you, [y/n]. for caring about me last night rather than just ignoring me. It means a lot," he said, a serious expression crossing his face.

"I can't ignore you Bucky. Never. Yesterday I noticed a change in how they all looked at me, but not you. You're looking at me the same way you always have. And in glad this hasn't changed anything for us..." I stopped when his look fell. Maybe I was wrong?

"Nothing has changed for worse but..." I cut him off.

"Bucky, if something has changed just tell me. I'm the same person I've always been." Instead of using words, he leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to mine. At first, it was slow, but then he quickened the pace and before long we both broke away gasping for air.

"You never told me?" I phrased it like a question, hoping for an answer.

"I was scared you'd react badly," he whispered. I reached over and took both his hands in my own. He instinctively flinched away from me with the metal.

"Bucky, if this is going to be a thing - and I want it to be a thing - then you're going to have to trust me," I whispered. He let me retake his hand. "Buck, I've loved you for so when I didn't even think love was possible after ... my family. I've seen myself one way for so long and then you came along with Steve, all quiet and broody, and you saw me differently. And I loved that since day one. Is it too much to ask for you to love me too?"

"Never." He kissed me again, and I still felt the same connection as before and I knew it would never get old.

The door opened as I was straddling Bucky, our lips still pressed together. We broke apart and saw Steve standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Stevie, really? Bad timing," Bucky joked.

"Um, sorry to interrupt, Buck but [y/n] is needed in the conference room. Now," he stated before closing the door quietly behind him.

"I should probably get going," I muttered. He let me leave easily, with one final kiss. I hurried to get dressed and I was in the conference room within fifteen minutes.

Tony, Steve and Clint were sitting on the fancy office chairs talking when I entered.

"Okay. We all know you aren't going to like this conversation but it's necessary. I'm sorry but we have to," Tony began and I knew where it was going.

"Are you prepared to use your powers out in the field? Is that what you're about to ask me?" I guessed and Clint nodded.

"I can't risk losing control, and you can't have water all around to sort out the damage." I took in their expressions. "But you want me to, don't you?"

"Yes, ultimately, it would give us advantages but it would expose you and risk you to Hydra. It's your choice, [y/n]. We can't make it for you." Steve's arguments were well-rehearsed; I could tell he'd worked them all out last night.

"Look, I don't want to be on Hydra's radar as much as the next potentially dangerous person, but I think that the team could use an extra and unknown ability. I'm not saying I'll only ever use this power, but it may be useful. And I should have told you about this power a long time ago but I was afraid. I let SHIELD set me up a new life after my parents and .. my sister but it's my choice." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I hid them from everyone; this was a tough topic but it was years ago, they'll probably just tell me to get over it.

"Okay then. You're free to go, um, back to Bucky," Steve coughed, dropping the hint to Tony and Clint. I barely acknowledged it as Clint handed Tony some money.

"I need to hit something," I murmured, more to myself than them but I heard Steve stiffen in his seat. I headed to the gym, ignoring his calls after me. The anger turned to fire and fire wreaked chaos for me.

***

I think I was probably alone for half an hour before Bucky came in.

"Hey, doll, what's wrong?" he asked softly, wrapping his arms around my waist. A small smile escaped me, knowing he knew I wasn't afraid of the metal. I turned around in his arms and pressed my lips to his. I craved a distraction but I knew Bucky wouldn't let this go easily.

"As much as I love this, the distraction isn't working," he whispered into my lips. I exhaled and pulled away.

"The team want me to start using my powers again but I don't think I should. I don't want to let them down, but I can't risk losing control in an argument or even on a mission. I don't think it's a good idea," I say, too scared to look him in the eye. He gently guided my chin upwards and forced me to look him in his dark eyes.

"Doll, they can't make you do anything. If you think this is a bad idea, then say no." His voice was gentle and I trusted it.

"What do you think?"

"It's your choice doll but there may be a situation in the future that really calls for it, and you may have to be prepared to use it," he said, seriousness lacing his tone.

"Mr Barnes and Miss [y/l/n], Captain Rogers requested everyone's presence at a briefing immediately," FRIDAY announced and we joined them all in the conference room.

***

"This shouldn't be complicated, but it may not be easy. Destroy the base, and we have been warned there may be more enhanced persons to contend with," Steve warned us as we all boarded the quinjet. Everyone was geared up and ready for a fight. Even Bruce was here, but only for a final measure. Clint was counting his arrows for the fifth time and Natasha was resting her head on Steve's shoulder.

"We're here," Tony announced from the cockpit. I was apprehensive, to say the least. Steve was looking at me with expectant eyes and I ignored them. My partner was Bucky and we split off around the back.

It started standard, but I kept seeing the same face over and over again. Enhanced. I let the team know and then I saw her again. Everyone was in the same clearing, the forces diminishing. But another enhanced person caught the majority of the team off guard and his power was self-multiplication. There were a hundred of the same guy, all fighting the team. I managed to get to the girl and I noticed her power. Shape-shifting.

"Guys, we are going to have to fall back," Steve shouted through the comms. "This guy just keeps coming."

"He's weakening," Wanda told us and they kept fighting.

"We have a shapeshifter too," Natasha called, as she saw the girl change into a taller man. Then a huge wolf.

"I can take the shifter."

"[y/n/n], you don't have to," Bucky told me but I shook my head.

"Yeah, I do." I ran at her, my hands lighting up. The heat didn't bother me, but it scared the girl in front of me. Wolves were skittish in front of flames too. We wrestled, and I was trying to force her to shift back to human, knowing it would be easier. A kick across the head broke her concentration and she was back to human. But there were wings sprouted from her back. She was going to escape.

"Guys, she's going to try and escape. I'll get her; get the host of that guy," I told them through the comms, before using the fire to propel myself off the ground. I felt everyone's eyes on me and I tailed the girl. Soon their attention returned to this guy.

"A plan, anyone?"

"[y/n], she'll get tired, try and get her to keep shifting," Bruce told me from the quinjet. Clearly, he hadn't been called in yet. With Bruce's help and advice, I was able to keep things on the ground.

She stayed in her human form for a while as we kept sparring. She was getting tired, it was obvious.

"[y/n], we need you," Natasha called over comms. This girl's eyes widened at my name.

"You're [y/n]? We were told about you. Your father was HYDRA and he always told us you were afraid. How will you hold up?" With the final word, she transformed into my father's body. I stumbled backwards.

"Not again," I whispered over and over again.

"Or would you prefer your mother?" My mother's body appeared in front of me and I cried out.

"Mama..." Tears were working their way down my face.

"Or perhaps darling little Helena?"

"Helena, baby ... " I fell to my knees, my vision blurry. I could hear Bucky's heavy footsteps coming towards me. With one shot, Natasha knocked her out and I was left an emotional mess.

***

The jet back was silent. The two enhanced were dropped off at SHIELD HQ, and we were headed back to the tower. I was a total mess, leaning against Bucky for support. He had his arm around me and his head resting gently on mine. I wanted to sleep, my body craved the rest but my mind was full of scorpions that refused to let me close my eyes.

Eventually, I did manage to fall asleep, but my thoughts were plagued with memories I'd much rather forget.

***

Over the next few weeks, Bucky was trying to be the best boyfriend ever, attending to my every need, but really I just wanted to try and get back to normal. One morning, all the babying got a little bit too much to handle.

"Bucky, I can do this myself," I said, somewhat angrily as he insisted on helping my zip up my uniform.

"Sorry, doll, I'm just trying to help."

"Look, Bucky I love you but I need to know that you trust me enough to be independ..." I trailed off as I saw his eyes widen. "What?"

"You said you love me?" Bucky muttered in disbelief, looking at the floor and I slowly brought his chin up so our eyes were locked.

"Why wouldn't I? I love you Bucky Barnes and nothing is going to change that." I only just got my words out before he pushed me roughly against the wall, his lips firmly attached to mine.

"I love you too," he murmured against my lips and I wove my fingers into his hair.

"You know, I may mind when you try and put my clothes on for me, but I sure as hell love it when you take them off," I whispered, my voice rough in his ears and I felt his hands go straight for the stubborn zip on my chest.


	13. Unexpected Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stucky (No Reader)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: intense swearing
> 
> also, yes this is something I saw on Tumblr and decided to make into a little one-shot :)
> 
> non-HYDRA Bucky !

Slowly, his eyes blinked open, adjusting to the light. Originally he thought was the world's worst hangover but then memories came flooding in.

Steve. Falling from the train. Hydra. Captain America. Steve.

Instantly, the soldier in him was suspicious and he surveyed his surroundings. It looked like a 40s hospital room but there were many things off. Including the woman with red hair, sitting in a hard wooden chair, in skintight clothes, a gun on her hip.

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky asked, his voice rough.

"Natasha Romanoff. What do you remember, James?"

"Where the hell am I?" he asked, ignoring her question. She just sighed and walked to his bedside.

"We found you, in ice. Agent Coulson, to be specific. We found you in similar conditions to Steve when he crashed that plane..."

Bucky's eyes widened and Natasha simply looked calmly at him. He went to grab her with both arms but recoiled in shock when he saw the prosthetic metal arm on his left side.

"James, please don't panic. Your arm was decimated by the fall, it was our only option. It was only possible by Dr Zola's experiments during the war. Do you remember?" She said calmly, her tone trying to be soothing but it was never her strong point. She didn't understand why Fury assigned her to this job when Steve himself or anyone with more tact could have had it.

Bucky couldn't formulate a reply so he simply nodded. He did remember, bits and pieces but his memories of Steve were the strongest. Natasha sat there, unknowing what to do now. Bucky seemed to sense her discomfort and he, due to his upbringing, felt the desire to take care of her.

"What happened to Steve then?" He asked hoarsely and Natasha visibly relaxed, launching into what she'd been told to say.

***

Bucky and Natasha are in a car, and she pulls up outside the door to the tower.

"One thing, you're going to have to convince him it's you, he may not believe you," Natasha warns him but he shrugs it off.

"He'll know it's me alright." He says and walks into the tower. Natasha rolls her eyes behind his back and drives the car away and around to Tony's excessive garage.

***

Steve and the rest of the Avengers are in the kitchen after a mission, discussing random things, including the reasoning behind Clint's obsession with the vents. They're all still wearing their suits apart from Tony who deposited it at his lab before joining them. Bucky walks into the room and no one notices and a wicked smile crosses his face but he hides it. "You get a new uniform?" Bucky calls across the room and Steve's face perks up, disbelief clouding his expression. "I hate it."

"...Bucky?" Steve stutters out and he nods. Steve,s face is filled with shock and confusion, and a peek of happiness at having his best friend back is coming.

"Yeah, it's me," Bucky says as he walks up to Steve and then he does something no one expects. He punches Steve right in the face and begins to yell.

"I WAS DEAD FOR LIKE A DAY AND YOU NOSEDIVE INTO THE ARTIC?!"

"uh-" Steve manages to get in before Bucky begins yelling again.

"YOU FUCKING STUPID PUNK I CANT BELIEVE THIS. Were you just like 'my conscious fell outta that train with Bucky?' and thought that crashing the plane without giving coordinates was a good fucking idea? and I thought that time in Brussels was bad but you've really outdone yourself this fucking time! And don't EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FUCKING ALIENS STEVE, ten fucking days outta the ice and do you do the logical thing like go on holiday or retire officially, NO!"

Bucky managed to tire himself out with all the yelling and Steve's just clinging to him like a baby. The rest of the Avengers are majorly confused and Natasha walks in during Bucky's little yell-fest and just settles herself in a chair, flicking through her phone.

"Bucky," Steve managed to whimper out before he just starts crying.

"Yeah, it's me you stupid punk you don't have to cry all over me," Bucky says, even though he's crying too.

"Can someone tell me what the actual fuck just happened?"

***

The next morning, while everyone was in the kitchen, still processing what had happened the previous day due to Bucky's return and outburst, they noticed Steve wasn't there. Usually, he was the first up and trying to wake everyone else up at 5 am for training. It was 9:17 when he walked in.

Tony looked up as he walked in and dropped his plate on the tile floor, causing it to smash and everyone else to look up. Steve's hair was a mess, his lips slightly swollen and hickeys adorned his neck and collarbone. Everyone was staring, open-mouthed at him, for at least five solid minutes before the door opened again.

"I thought you were the innocent one, Steve," Tony said before removing his gaze to look at the door.

"Stevie? Innocent? He's got everyone fooled then, I see," Bucky laughed before giving Steve a swift kiss and grabbing a piece of toast from a platter on the table.

The thing that shocked everyone the most was Bucky was about 200 times worse off.


	14. I'm Not The Only Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Barnes/Rogers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: not a lot, I don't think

Bucky had been back at the tower for three months, and he was finally settling in. Steve was ecstatic to have his best friend back, though Bucky didn't have all the memories back yet. But they were working towards it. Steve told him stories almost every day, about what life was like back in Brooklyn all those years ago but he steered clear of one topic.

[y/n]. Bucky's older sister.

Steve had called in a favour with Peggy to let [y/n] join up with Bucky. And it had cost her her life. HYDRA captured Steve and [y/n] after Bucky had fallen off the train. Steve watched helplessly as they tortured and killed her for information. He'd escaped a couple of days later, unsuccessfully trying to retrieve her body for a proper burial.

When the entire team was called to an emergency mission in Russia, Bucky immediately volunteered. He wasn't technically a part of the Avengers but his language advantage would be a clear asset.

***

On the jet, Tony pulled Bucky aside.

"Barnes, I think you should have this," he said nervously, holding out a folded-up piece of paper. Bucky took it gingerly in his metal hand and unfolded it gently. It was a black-and-white photograph from the 40s. Bucky recognised himself and Steve, but there was a woman in the middle that he couldn't place.

Unknowing, he showed Steve the photo and instantly saw his posture stiffen and he heard the sharp intake of breath. When Steve didn't reply for a minute, Bucky felt guilty. Obviously, something bad had happened.

"Sorry, Stevie, I shouldn't have mentioned it," Bucky apologised but Steve stopped him before he walked away.

"Don't apologise, Buck, you didn't know. That's [y/n], your sister." Bucky didn't push the subject since he could tell how sensitive the subject was. They sat in silence for the rest of the journey, Steve repressing the memories of her screams and her crying and Bucky trying desperately to remember his sister.

***

The mission went smoothly, and Natasha and Bucky were able to translate their communication lines that Tony hacked, leading them exactly where they needed to go. Steve and Sam took the tunnels heading to the room where the leader was supposed to be, but it was obvious he had escaped already. One woman was left alone in the room, a winter soldier mask covering her face and a glint of a metal arm peeking out of the gap where her gloves ended and her sleeves were too short. Her long black hair hung down her back.

She went to attack and both Steve and Sam fought back. Sam went to kick her but she caught his foot and threw him across the room, knocking him out. His body fell limply to the floor and Steve immediately called for backup.

"No point," she whispered metallically. "You'll be too dead for them to help."

With that, she knocked him over and brought out a gun, holding it to Steve's head. A moment of hesitation cost her everything; Steve looked up and she recognised his blue eyes.

"Steve?" Natasha yelled as she tried to find him. The assassin's hands shook as the Avengers burst through the door. They all stopped moving and Bucky pushed to the front of the group. He sucked in a big breath of air. The scene in front of him terrified Bucky, every nerve in his body was on high alert.

"Steve?" The assassin repeated, her voice uncertain. Steve slowly began to rise, slowly wrapping his hand around the barrel of the gun and removing it from her. He threw it back and Natasha caught it.

Panic crossed the assassin's mind and she looked around for the closed exit. All of them had been blocked off by an Avenger, with Steve still in front of her and Sam still unconscious in the corner.

Steve watched her moves apprehensively. She took off the gloves on her hands and Bucky felt his metal instinctively tighten. She moved too quickly for Steve to comprehend; before he knew it, she was on the floor choking the life out of him. A knife was pressed against his temple in warning to the rest of the Avengers. He managed to free an arm and instead of going for the knife or her hand, he took the chance to remove the tinted goggles and threw them to the floor, temporarily confusing her.

Her striking violet eyes caught Steve's attention and [y/n] flashed across his mind.

It can't be, he thought to himself, still struggling to breathe. The assassin stood still, her hands shaking slightly but she made no further attempt to attack.

Cameras in the room noticed that she had begun to remember and automatically pressed play on the pre-recorded tape.

"желание (longing)." Bucky's eyes widened. His eyes searched for the origin of the word.

"ржавый (rusted)."

"печь (furnace)."

"I have to get out of here," Bucky yelled and Steve abandoned the girl in search of the safety for his best friend. All the Avengers cleared out, Clint throwing Sam over his shoulder, leaving the girl to be subjected to the awful torture HYDRA would put her through.

***

Luckily the Avengers made it out before Bucky went under mind control, and onto the jet.

"What the hell was that?" Tony shouted as soon as they were up in the air.

"Stark, calm down," Natasha said tiredly, not wanting an argument to escalate in a confined space.

"Stark, I'm sorry," Steve apologised before anything could get worse. Everyone turned at Steve's quiet voice. It shook a little as he spoke and he was leaning heavily against the wall as if he couldn't hold himself up.

"Stevie, what's going on?" Bucky asked, concerned, seeing the familiar look of hurt in his best friend's eyes that hadn't changed since he was just a kid from Brooklyn. "Who was she, Steve?"

Steve shook his head, not able to say the words. Bucky waited patiently but Tony was losing patience.

"Spit it out, Rogers."

"I couldn't hurt her, okay? I don't know what it was," he burst out, looking directly at Tony.

"Self-preservation, Steve, you didn't have to kill her," Bucky sighed in a patronising tone. He knew Steve could never kill anyone, no matter if his life was on the line or not.

"You don't get it. I couldn't hurt her, not after I saw what they did to her, Buck."

"What are you on about?" Clint asked from the cockpit. He put the autopilot on and eagerly joined in the conversation.

"Bucky, that was your sister."

***

The jet was in shock for a few minutes, and Steve could tell Bucky was dealing with an influx of memories, both good and bad. Flashes of emotions crossed Bucky's face moving at a hundred miles per hour. Even when they returned from the long-forgotten mission, Bucky's head was still full of childhood memories of him and [y/n] and Steve, hanging out and protecting each other.

Mostly it was happy memories. One time when Bucky had made Steve swear never to date his sister made him laugh lots. The number of times [y/n] was bad-ass protecting Steve from all the fights he got himself into broke his face into a huge smile before he remembered where that had led her. To the army, to HYDRA itself. To become another winter soldier, just like Bucky himself.

Steve was wrecked. His head was plagued with the memories of her torture, her screaming echoing and the feeling of helplessness making him sick. The instant the jet was back in the hangar, Steve bolted to his room, leaving Bucky confused and afraid.

But before Steve could even reach his room, his composure broke down and tears flowed freely down his face. It wasn't often that Steve couldn't reign in his emotions but memories of [y/n] just hurt too much. Bucky on the other hand was filled with guilt at his friends fleeting glance filled with tears as he ran out the hangar. He went to follow him but Tony held him back.

"Don't. He's going to want some time alone, just like he did when he found out you were still alive. Give him time, yeah?" He reasoned and Bucky agreed begrudgingly.

***

None of the three of them were sleeping. [y/n] was avoiding letting on her returning memories, taking her leave for a mission to one of the Hydra safe houses. She was quickly adapting to the influx of memories, bits and pieces that began forming hints of a previous life.

Steve was too upset to sleep properly, his body was exhausted beyond a point he remembered it could and yet his eyes simply refused to close and relive the memories of [y/n]. Eventually he gave up on the idea and headed to the empty gym to let out all of his pent-up anger against Hydra for what they'd done to her.

Bucky was in a similar state to [y/n]. All his memories of you were coming back and he couldn't waste precious time sleeping when he could be remembering his sister. According to the little information Tony could find out about her, she was two years older than him, used to be very protective and was captured a few days after Bucky's accident involving the train. After a while, he couldn't put off seeing Steve and talking about her. If he knew his friend at all, he'd be punching the hell out of a bunch of bags, most likely breaking them quicker than usual.

[y/n] had completed her mission, with the same ease as usual but a less detached point of view. So many years into this 'work', the guilt was landing on her shoulders after finally regaining a shred of her humanity. Instead of taking her motorbike back to the base she'd begun to call home, she headed away to the only place she recognised.

***

"Steve?" Bucky called across the gym, barely making his voice heard above Steve's anger. Steve's punching faltered slightly but he quickly regained his pace, isolating his mind to fall into the simple rhythm of the punching.

"Steve, I know you can hear me. You need to talk to me, man, I don't want to see this tear you apart," Bucky continued, his voice cracking slightly at his following words. "I thought I'd lost you when I pulled you out of that river and everything came crashing down. I can't lose you again, Stevie," he muttered, finally reaching his best friend, laying a gentle human hand on his shoulder. He felt Steve's body shaking, on the verge of collapsing and he enveloped him in a hug.

It wasn't weird and when he could hear Steve's quiet crying on his shoulder, he felt more assured he'd done the right thing.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," FRIDAY said, her voice breaking the almost-silence. "But traffic cameras have picked up [y/n] Barnes in Brooklyn, would you like me to wake the team?"

"No thanks, FRIDAY, we'll handle this," Bucky said determinedly. "Are we getting my sister back or what?" He asked Steve and he quickly nodded, rushing to get his shield, just in case. He couldn't bring himself to use it against her but if she had escaped Hydra, there was no guarantee of anything.

***

[y/n] was standing outside where she remembered home to be. But everything had changed in all those years and now the place was unrecognisable. You'd almost gotten lost trying to find it but you were certain this was the place. Even more so when you heard Steve's voice behind you.

"[y/n]!" He called enthusiastically, running towards you but Bucky pulled him back slightly, unaware of how you would react. Steve wasn't thinking straight, and he knew that so he let himself be stopped.

"Steve? Bucky?" You asked meekly and a smile broke out across both of their faces. You returned the happiness like it was an infection and you wrapped both your boys into a hug.

"God, I missed you two," you said, your excited voice echoing around the street.

***

When they got back to the tower, the trio found a disgruntled-looking Tony Stark waiting outside the elevator door.

"Tony, this is ...."

"Yeah, [y/n], I know. Can we trust her?" He asked bluntly. You weren't offended at his comment, rather reassured that someone was thinking straight.

"Yes," Bucky said without hesitation. You smiled at his confidence in you but also felt somewhat worried that you would go Soldier and hurt someone. Especially Steve.

"Okay... We'll talk more about this in the morning. Now, go to bed. You know it's bad when I'm the one telling you it," he said tiredly and shuffled off back to bed, the intent of his tone not lost on any of them.

The boys led [y/n] to their rooms. They had an adjoining door, that could be locked and unlocked from both sides, because of the bond they shared. Friends for a lifetime, or more than one. It was more like brotherhood. Steve had a fold-out sofa bed in his room, for any situation that called for it. He barely used it but now he was never more thankful for it. He didn't want to set [y/n] off but at the same time he didn't want to let you out of his sight.

As they walked into the immaculate room, [y/n]'s sight made a beeline for the few photos and items from his past. The reconstructed compass Fury gave him and some old campaign posters he'd found in antique shops nearby. She didn't dare move, afraid of their reactions to her curiosity. Bucky was the first to sense it but Steve quickly caught on.

"Don't be afraid, [y/n]. There's nothing here to hurt you, I promise," Bucky said gently, a hand resting gently on her shoulder. She didn't flinch which he took to be progress and followed their lead when they sat on the edge of the bed.

"Do you trust me?" She asked quietly, they almost missed it, even with super-serum hearing.

"Always," they responded in sync.

"Always," she repeated, a small smile on her face.


	15. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dad!Rogers x Reader
> 
> [f/n] = friend's name  
> [y/f/n] = your full name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings = miscarriage

For the past hour, I'd been holed up in my room, trying to decide what to wear. It's [f/n]'s birthday and she's having a party, to which I'm invited. I'm wearing a typical little black dress, red lipstick and I'm looking around my closet, deciding on shoes. I see my knee-high red boots and instantly fall in love with them again. Just like I did when I badgered Uncle Tony for a month to buy me them, against my father's wishes.

I slip them on and decide they are right for tonight, except, with my dress, they look very out-of-place. Rather than change my shoes, I change my entire outfit. Now, I'm wearing a slightly dippy marroon long-sleeved crop top and small black denim distressed shorts.

"JARVIS, can you tell Dad I'm going out?" I ask and he doesn't respond. Huh. That's weird, J always responds.

Instead of relying on Uncle Tony's technology, I go to find him. It's easy enough, they're all always in the living room.

Before I can even get a word out, objections are flying at me.

"Where do you think you're going?" Uncle Bucky questioned, but in a way, I knew he would still let me go. That's what I like about Uncle Bucky - he's never hypocritical about stopping me from doing things that he did in his childhood back in the 30s and 40s. Obviously, I can't get away with murder - literally and figuratively.

"Not dressed like that you're not!" Uncle Sam was fairly protective and seemed to be always trying to cover up what I was wearing. I'm not ashamed of how I look, so why should I have to hide it?

"At least take Spidey with you?" Was Uncle Tony's only request. Of course, he thinks I need protecting, even by someone a few years younger than me. He's just a hyperactive kid most of the time, to be honest.

"Dad, will you say something?" I ask, ignoring everyone elses' concerns. They just roll their eyes at me, and smiles break through the facade.

"No."

"You don't even know where I'm going," I protest but the dark look in his eye - that's intended to silence me into listening - just angers me more.

"I said no." He stands up to leave, the same tactic he always uses when he thinks he's won.

"I'll take that as a yes," I smirk and walk towards the elevator. My heels click against the wooden floor, and I hear heavy footsteps following me. A hand grabs my wrist and yanks me back. With my heels, I stand at 5'10, not far off Dad's height.

His grip is uncomfortably tight but I don't mention it.

"What are you gonna do about it?" I snap. His grip tightens in anger and I can feel the bruise forming already. "Lock me up here? I'm 19 for Gods sake. " I push him and, just as I expected, he takes the bait.

"If you think we're unable to stop you from leaving, you're way wrong [y/f/n]. I don't care how old you are. I hiss in pain at the pressure around my wrist. Dad lets go, in surprise and we can both clearly see the red marks where his fingers were.

"Fu-" Dad starts but I raise my brows at him. He stops.

I turn to leave again and this time he doesn't stop me.

"Steve - " Uncle Bucky says as Dad pushes past him, towards the door on the opposite side of the room.

"I need to hit something," he mutters, and my sharp hearing catches it, just about.

"I'm right here, you might as well," I tell him, before hitting the close-doors button on the elevator. JARVIS takes me down to the garage and I slide onto my motorcycle, opening the doors and speeding out of the tower.

***

The party is pretty good, other than the fact I inherited my dad's ability to resist alcohol. I can't get drunk, or at least I can't after having over half a bottle of vodka as well as other assorted drinks. I'm not planning on drinking tonight anyway

I'm there for hours, and I stayed a while after most people left to help [f/n] clear up a bit. She passed out on her couch at around 2 am and I left shortly afterwards. The traffic was easy to navigate through, as there was barely any.

I pull into the tower garage and instantly ask JARVIS where my dad is.

"He's in the gym, Miss Rogers. I would advise you don't disturb him, especially in your condition. Should I consult Mr Barnes?" JARVIS responded but I shook my head.

"Is Uncle Bucky sleeping?" I ask.

"Yes Miss Rogers, Mr Barnes is asleep."

"Then don't disturb him, under any circumstances, other than possible death, okay?" I command the AI and he agrees.

"I would advise Miss Rogers that you see Dr Banner about your condition in the morning," JARVIS told me and I agreed.

"Goodnight JARVIS."

***

In the gym, I see Dad, punching the crap out of a bag. Sand covers the floor so I'm assuming he's been in here for a while. I know it's risky, disturbing him whilst he's in such a focused and ... well, dangerous mindset but I need to. I hate to keep secrets from him.

I took my boots off and ditched them in the living room, so my socks on the hard floor make very little noise. In hindsight, that was a bad idea. A very bad idea. But I know how Tony hates it when I track dirt into the tower. Just trying to please Tony, but it's not like I blame him.

I can hear his heavy breathing, and each individual hit is distinguishable, despite the speed and power of them. I'm very close to him by the time I decide to make myself known, but just as I'm about to speak, Dad instinctively turns and hits, striking my stomach and sending my flying into the opposite wall.

I know how the army trained him. Defensively. I've seen this happen before, but I was always told to let Uncle Bucky deal with him.

I scream on impact, sliding down the wall and curling up into a fetal position on the floor. Dad cries out, rushing over to me.

"[y/n]! Oh, darling, I'm sorry," he repeats over and over as I lose consciousness.

***

I wake up in Dad's arms, as he runs to the MedBay. Bruce is there, groggy-looking, as well as Tony who monitors everything through JARVIS anyway.

Realisation hits me. I struggle to get out of Dad's arms, and he looks down at me, surprised.

"[y/n], don't struggle, please," he asked me softly and I conceded, too tired to do anything. He lied me down in the bed and I hear Uncle Bruce shoo Uncle Tony and Dad out. See, Uncle Bruce gets me.

"What the hell happened?" Uncle Bruce questioned the instant the door was closed.

"Dad was very ... um, engrossed in his punching and I kinda snuck up on him," I rush out, holding my stomach protectively. I look away from Uncles Bruce's disappointed eyes and see Dad and Uncle Tony at the window.

"JARVIS, can you frost the glass for me, please?" I ask and he does so immediately.

"Can you check? Please," I ask concern written in my voice. He agrees without question and leads me through into another room. I lie down on the white bed and lift my shirt. A bruise is beginning to form, obscuring at least half of my usually-pale skin.

"I would prepare yourself for bad news," Uncle Bruce warned and I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to let the tears fall just yet.

***

Steve and Tony had been sitting in silence, outside the MedBay, waiting for any kind of response. It was about half an hour before Tony even tried to say something.

"Steve, what the hell happened?"

"For fuck sake Steve, what did you do?"

"Steve, why the hell is your daughter in there right now, looking scared to hell?"

"Will you just answer me!"

"I-I hit her, okay?" Steve exploded, scaring Tony to the point he had to step back. "My baby girl, I hit her because I was too wrapped up in my own mind and didn't hear her coming." As soon as he'd finished his sentence, he broke down, tears streaming down his face. Tony's soft side came out and he brought him into a hug, cradling Steve's larger form.

The door opened behind them and Bruce came out, closing it quietly behind him.

"Is she okay?" Tony asked, when he realised Steve was incapable of speaking.

"[y/n] is fine, the bruising should clear up in the next few weeks..." the doctor trailed off and it peaked Steve's confusion.

"But...?" Steve said, not following the doctor's tone.

"She wanted to tell you herself before the incident occurred but didn't get a chance. [y/n] was pregnant."

Steve froze. Any traces of emotion slipped from his face and were replaced with one look. Guilt.

"Was," Steve repeated, his body shaking. "Oh my God," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Steve," Bruce said before returning to [y/n]'s room. Steve didn't move, and Tony stood behind him, unsure of what to do or say. Tony sent a silent message to Bucky, explaining what happened. He got a quick reply, saying he'd be there as soon as.

"Steve," Tony started gently but Steve shook his head.

"Tony, please don't," he said shakily, his eyes closed. Steve followed Bruce into [y/n]'s room and drew up a seat at her bedside. [y/n] was sleeping, and both Bruce and Steve were looking at her, their eyes filled with regrets.

[y/n] had fallen asleep before Bruce finished the scan, and he didn't have the heart to wake her and give her the terrible news.

Bucky came in not long after and stood behind Steve, a hand resting on his shoulder. Steve lulled his head to rest on Bucky's hand. They didn't need to speak to communicate - the gravity of the feelings in the room said all that was needed to convey their feelings. [y/n] was lying there so peaceful, and in her sleep, she curled up and rested her hand protectively over her stomach. The sight of her forced Steve to look away, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

"How far along was she?" he whispered.

"Don't do this to yourself," Bucky told him sternly. "Don't torture yourself like that."

"Like what?" [y/n] mumbled, stretching her arms and letting them rest back over her stomach.

"[y/n], honey, are you okay?" Steve asked, grabbing her hand. A brief second of panic crossed her expression and Steve saw it. He muffled his expression, to try and let on he didn't see it.

"Where's Bruce?" She asked instantly, a hand on her stomach.

Steve was unable to form words so Bucky stepped in.

"[y/n], Bruce told us..." he started delicately and [y/n]'s face contorted in pain.

"Dad, I-I was going to tell you," [y/n] stuttered, trying to meet his eye. Steve could barely bring himself to look at her, but when Bucky nudged him, he made eye contact. She wasn't angry but he could see the tears in her eyes.

Steve could feel his resolve breaking and he bit his lip in pain, trying to stop the tears from flowing.

***

I climbed off the bed, and into Dad's lap, nestling into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head and I could feel the tears dripping down.

"I'm so sorry, darling, I'm so sorry," he burst out and I began crying as well. At some point, Bucky slipped out of the room, seeing that we were handling it between ourselves and we wouldn't need an intervention.

"I should have told you," I whispered but he shook his head.

"Don't put this on yourself, I shouldn't hav-" he started but I put my hand over his mouth.

"No. If I can't blame myself, then you can't feel guilty, okay?" I told him sternly and I could see the light in his eyes.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, mock-saluting me.

Uncle Bruce entered the room, seeing us fine, a smile broke out on his apprehensive face.

"Hey, guys, can I just be the doctor for a minute then I'll leave you guys alone," he asked tentatively. Dad nodded.

"[y/n], over the next few days you need to take it easy and you may experience some bleeding, which is totally normal. Also, you may have cramps and you should no longer feel your other pregnancy symptons. Just talk to me if anything unusual happens, okay? None of this Rogers, 'I'm always fine' crap, okay?" Bruce told me, giving my Dad and I a look.

"Will do, doc," I agree and Dad and I leave, Bruce turning off the lights behind us. He turns off to the direction of his room, calling a goodbye down the corridor.

"You should sleep," I tell him, and he gives me the look. The Steve I-Don't-Care-About-My-Health look. 

"You know, I'm supposed to be the parent here," he jokingly reprimanded.

"I know. But you don't listen to your own advice," I tell him.

"Okay, okay," he says, putting his hands up in a surrender.

"Goodnight, Dad," I say, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

"Goodnight honey," Dad replies, leaving me at my door.

"Wake me up for a run, yeah?" I ask, and he nods, a smile returning to his face.

"5am?" he asks, jokingly.

"Are you kidding?" I roll my eyes.

"Not even kidding," he says, a wicked smile on his face, turning away to have the last word.

I unlock my door and can still hear his laughing. Wow. So childish.


	16. If Only For A Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brother!Tony/Loki x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: drunkenness, imprisonment, parent death
> 
> aka your past is Tony's past, minus arc reactor stuff

"Loki, you have to eat," Natasha sighed as she took another tray of food into his glass cell that Tony built specially.

Loki looked up at her. "Why does it matter? Am I not serving my sentence here?" His words dumbfounded her. He turned from arrogant and a total asshole into a self-loathing, weak-minded child in less than 3 months.

"Will you leave me be!" He sent the tray flying across the room. He slouched back against the glass wall, his energy drained. He hadn't eaten for days and he adamantly refused. It made my heart break to see how much pain he was in.

Natasha refused to pick up the items for him but her face was full of uncertainty. She paused in the doorway, turning her head back to him. He was staring at the floor and didn't lift his gaze when she spoke.

"Loki?"

"Midgardian."

"I don't know what's going on, but you're losing strength. You need to eat, it's kind of important." She sounded genuinely worried - something that doesn't happen often - but he didn't say a thing.

***

I'd watched through the screens in my room. It just made me angry at Tony for insisting he stayed there. He's clearly ill; that's no secret. Tony is my over-protective older brother who has banned me from seeing Loki in person. I was pretty badly injured from Loki personally during his failed take-over of New York.

I don't hold anything against Loki, and I sympathise with being shadowed by an older brother. Fury assigned me to him when he was imprisoned by SHIELD and we shared a kiss. Tony went crazy and I was immediately taken off the assignment and Loki was moved to a cell in the Avengers tower to be kept under surveillance.

I went to find Natasha after she left Loki to talk to her. It didn't take much; I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I walked right into her.

"Careful, [y/n]," Natasha laughed as she caught my arm for stability.

"Thanks, I was actually looking for you," I say and she gives me a knowing look.

"Loki? I think he needs someone to help him out and he'll probably want it to be you. Tony may argue with it for a bit, but we don't want to kill him," Natasha warns me and I agree. I still care for him and it hurts me to see him so ... depressed.

"Can you get everyone into the kitchen? I don't want Tony to be the only one who has the say in this." She nods and I ran to Tony's lab just to try and warn him so he wouldn't be too mad.

***

"No."

"But ... "

"No."

"Surely you can see what this is doing to him. His vitals have dipped dangerously low, even for an Asgardian. He's suffering, Tone," I say, unable to keep the pleading tone at bay.

"No, [y/n]. He's dangerous and he deserves it," he said, a hand on my shoulder in a condescending way.

"It's not just up to you anymore, Tony," I say, shrugging his hand off my shoulder. He follows me reluctantly to the kitchen where everyone is waiting. Steve just sighs at me with Tony in tow.

***

I looked around the room at everyone's faces. All I could think of was Loki in his cell and his dejected face and worsening vitals.

"Let's cut right to it then," Clint starts and I silently thank him for clearing a bit of the awkward tension in the room.

"My brother is not well. He will not listen to me or try and keep himself healthy. We need to do something about this and if [y/n] thinks she might be able to help, I'm not going to argue," Thor says in his loud voice, but his tone was filled with concern.

"I'm sorry but I don't like it." I knew Tony wouldn't change his views. He hated Loki, there was no changing that.

"Let's vote," Steve suggests. "For [y/n] helping Loki?"

Wanda, Natasha, Thor, Steve, Sam, Bucky and Bruce all vote for me to help. I smile widely at the majority vote. I was surprised Clint and Vision were against it but I couldn't hold it against either of them. I got a majority and that's all I needed. Rhodey was also against it but, being Tony's best mate, I could understand that he'd keep himself on Tony's side. Wanda's eyes narrowed on Vision when he voted against and I could tell she'd have something to say to him later.

"Thanks, guys," I say and I rush out the room. Well, try to. Tony stopped me. I rolled my eyes dramatically and tried to sneak past. He pulled me back and I was starting to get annoyed.

"Anthony, get out the way, you know I'll get past anyway. Majority rules, stop being a spoilt brat," I say and he begrudgingly lets me past. I run down to his cell.

***

I walk to the cell and open the door. Loki doesn't look up, instead, he just says,

"I'm not hungry." I still walk into the cell and sit on the floor next to him.

"Darling, what are you doing to yourself?" I ask softly and his blue eyes meet mine. I can see how hard he's trying to keep to his cold exterior but it's not fooling anyone now. I rest my palm on his cheek and he leans into the motion. A single tear escapes his eye and my heart melts.

"Loki, darling, why are you doing this?" I ask again and he doesn't answer, instead, he just leans on my shoulder and I feel his tears running down my arm.

"Darling, it's okay, it's okay," I keep repeating soothingly, and eventually he calms a little. Already I can tell his spirits have lifted slightly and maybe I'll be able to convince him to eat.

"Please tell me why you're doing this to yourself, darling. I can't stand not being able to help you," I say and I think he believes me. I take his hand in mine and rub my thumb over his knuckles. His blue eyes meet mine and they're misted over with tears. Silver tracks are etched into his pale face and his black hair is dishevelled beyond belief.

"Why are you here?" he asks quietly and I lift his chin gently. I stare into his blue eyes, looking for any signs of insincerity and my search comes up blank.

"Darling, it's tortured me to see you like this for so long," I say softly and more tears leak out of his guilty eyes and his lip trembles so much I want to try and reassure him that everything will be okay.

But I know he's too smart for that. I know he knows he isn't getting out of here anytime soon. One mistake would cost him the rest of an Asgardian lifetime. But maybe when we're all dead, and the only living Avenger is Thor, he'll be free again. I can only hope.

"Then why didn't you come?" His voice was so weak and pathetic as his accusation tried to scare me, to intimidate me. Needless to say, it didn't work.

"My darling, I couldn't. My idiot of a brother didn't allow it and he's still unhappy about. But I don't care anymore-," I say but Loki cut me off.

"Why is it now? Only once you'd watched me for months, slowly losing all my strength? Have I not been in this state for weeks?" His violent defence broke down at the shock on my face and he once again became a sobbing mess.

"Please, my darling. Don't fight with me. Let me help you, if only for a second. Please," I say, my voice low and gentle. He weakly nods and I place a slow kiss on his forehead. He closes his eyes and I know he's finally conceding.

I watch as he eats - three bits of bread and some of the soup. It filled me with hope, until I saw Tony standing in the doorway.

"Tony, did you want something?" I ask him, slightly snappily.

"I think that's time up, [y/n]," he said stoically, and I stood up slowly, taking a protective stance over Loki.

"No."

"Come on, [y/n], let's go," Tony reiterated but I stayed still.

"I'm staying here," I told him and he sighed but left, somewhat begrudgingly. Tony still hates Loki and I very much doubt that that will change any time soon.

"You can't stay here forever, [y/n]," Loki said slowly, much against his will.

"Please don't say that Loki. I'm staying here, for how long it takes," I said stubbornly.

***

I stayed in there with him for hours, Tony repeatedly coming back in to complain about me being here but I sent him away each time. Eventually, Thor came in and contempt crossed Loki's face. I squeezed his hand which seemed to calm him down and he sent me a comforting smile. He still wasn't up to arguing with anyone for any decent amount of time, his body wouldn't allow the stress.

"Brother, Lady [y/n]," he said, his tone friendly but had a slight cautious undertone. "I'm glad to see you getting back to normal." Loki's hand tightened around mine as I agreed with Thor.

"That's not all you came to say, is it Brother?" Loki asked and Thor shook his head slightly, such a small gesture that it was barely perceptible.

"Stark wishes for his sister to leave you here now," he said with a sadness in his voice. "And he doesn't approve of how close you both are - wait before you get mad Lady [y/n], I am just passing on the message from your brother." My eyes wandered to where I knew the cameras were positioned and I could practically see Tony watching me through them.

"I'll be there, five minutes," I said and Thor left, throwing me a keycard to the door. "I'll be back, I promise," I turned around to Loki, looking up into his blue eyes. They had some of their usual light back in them.

I was about to leave but I rushed back, pressing my lips to his with an urgency I didn't know I had inside me. He responded quickly, our lips moving in sync like it was natural. When I broke away, a small wave of sadness washed over me. I needed him, craved his touch and yet I knew it was wrong. I'd die before him, and he'd move on or want to move on before, maybe when I got older. A relationship like this was never supposed to last.

I left him without another word, locking the door behind me and feeling his confused stare on the back of my head as I left the room without looking back.

***

I walked slowly to Tony's lab, letting my thoughts pan out, trying to assemble the mess of feelings and professionalism. I was at the door quicker than I'd intended but a glance at my phone told me it had taken me ten minutes to walk down one corridor and up one set of stairs. My mind was set on my plan. I just needed time to mentally prepare myself for Tony's words.

"Tony?" I called as Jarvis let me into the lab.

"Over here," he called, his voice floating across from the opposite side of the room. I found him at a desk, going through old archives about our parents. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, knowing he felt the same pain I did, though he'd known them for so much longer. He's seven years older than me, I was only quite young when they died.

We stayed there, subdued for a while, I think I heard the door open and Bruce walk in but he quickly left, knowing we needed a little bit of time. What I'd intended to say when I walked in here had disappeared as we became nothing more than grieving orphans once again. Eventually Tony shut the screen off, wiped the tears away from his eyes and I did the same.

"I don't want you seeing Loki again," he said bluntly, as if the last half an hour hadn't happened.

"That's not your choice to make," I replied, equally as bluntly. "The team voted for me to help Loki, and that's what I'm doing."

"Does helping him include kissing?" He said, judgement cruising through his eyes. Before I could formulate a reply, the door opened and Steve walked in, freezing like a rabbit caught in blinding headlights.

"Get out Rogers," Tony shouted, his temper rising. His anger just increased my own.

"Don't take out your bad mood on Steve. I'm the one you're angry at, leave him alone," I defended Steve, blocking Tony's line of sight. Bruce walked him, headphones on and typing away on an iPad, oblivious to the yelling. I internally screamed, knowing Tony's mood would only escalate into Hulking out Banner. I kept Tony's attention on me, hoping he was seeing too much red to notice Bruce.

"You want me to take it out on you? Stop seeing Loki, it's not complicated!" Tony yelled at me and his rage only made mine worse.

"No, you can't stop me," I shouted back and we both spun around when we heard the door. Bucky walked in, looking for Steve and he too stopped and watched us, without the slightest hint of leaving in his eyes.

"Beat it, Barnes. Actually, I can. I'm your brother, I can tell you what to do!"

"I'm not seven years old anymore, stop babying me. I'm going, you can't stop me," I said, turning around to leave. I felt his hand on my shoulder, too tight to be friendly but not tight enough to actually stop me.

"Mom wouldn't have approved of this," he said quietly and I whipped my head around so quickly I think I got whiplash.

"No. Don't you dare. You don't get to play that card with me," I told him viciously. "Even so, she's gone, they both are, and they're never coming back so get your head out of the past and move along with your life!"

"I AM WELL AWARE THEY'RE DEAD!" He yelled in my face and I took a step back, my entire body shaking slightly. The fear must've been evident on my face and instantly his face softened but it was too late. Tears fell down my face as I blindly tried to run, running straight into a solid body. I could just about make out Bucky's face filled with concern but I left, knowing there was only one person I needed to see.

***

It was less than 30 seconds later when I entered the cell, tears streaking down my face. Loki was engulfing me in his strong arms within milliseconds, murmuring words of comfort in my ear. Without thinking, I smashed my lips against his and, although I could tell he was surprised, he responded quickly, the natural feeling from earlier reappearing.

My legs began to go weak and he tried to support me, but not back to his full strength, we fell over, him landing on top of me, arms around my head to brace his fall. A small laugh escaped my lips and a smile broke out on his face. I leaned in to kiss him again and all worries of Tony flew out of my mind.

***

For the next week, I stayed with Loki all day and all night. I practically moved into his cell, knowing Tony wouldn't come here voluntarily. During the week, Loki regained most of his strength, though the mental toll was evident whenever he zoned out during a conversation or chose his words carefully to avoid a specific subject. He never spoke of Thor or his childhood, or his mother. I understood, though so I never pushed him on the subject.

After a week had passed, someone other than Natasha came in. She'd been bringing us food, and she was 100% on my side in all of this. That, someone, was Steve.

"[y/n]," he called across the cell and I stood to greet him, slightly wobbly on my feet. I haven't moved much for a week, and it's beginning to show. I left Loki fast asleep on the small, single bed, placing a small kiss on his delicate forehead.

"Everything okay Steve?" I asked, seeing the worry written all over his face.

"Yeah, it's nothing, don't worry," he said, shrugging off my concern. "Tony needs you right now." I scoffed.

"I don't need him," I whispered harshly but Steve shook his head in disagreement.

"Have you seen what day it is?" Steve murmured, so quietly I almost missed it. Memories flooded in and I bypassed sadness and went straight to angry.

"No! You don't get to try and do that to me! Neither does he. He threw their death in my face and he's too scared to talk to me himself, so you're here instead. No!" I yelled, eventually breaking down, crying. My legs became weak, and Steve was swift to catch me before I hit the floor. Loki was at my side in an instant and I clung to him pathetically, my tears soaking his shirt.

"I think you should leave," I heard Loki say sternly to the Captain, his voice unwavering and protective. Steve conceded more readily than I'd imagined he would. He turned away and left, locking the door firmly behind him with one last look filled with sadness and disappointment. It cracked my resolve to let my brother suffer and in the hours to come, I knew it would crumble into nothing.

***

"I'm sorry, man, honestly, she seems so mad," Steve apologised to Tony after his little 'conversation' with [y/n]. Tony was more broken than ever, his full glass of strong liquor now empty. He didn't even know what he was drinking, all he knew was it was strong and it was doing its job to dull the pain.

Steve could tell he was pushing his alcohol tolerance to the limit and the worry for his friend increased even further. He felt so powerless, something he wasn't accustomed to since the serum. He hoped with everything that you would come to your senses and help Tony, being siblings after all.

So, as he knew you wouldn't be showing your face any time soon, he stayed with Tony, trying to fill the sibling role you'd chosen to leave, that he knew he never could properly.

"Maybe," Steve suggested lightly, after hours of sitting in silence, drinking his beer slowly, watching Tony empty another half a bottle of scotch. "Maybe, you should talk to her. It seemed to anger [y/n] more that I was passing on a message."

Without words, Tony stood up, and Steve was afraid he'd said the wrong thing. Tony left the room, out the door and headed straight for the cell. Steve had made the right call, once again.

***

Tony headed straight down to the cell, a little shakily. The sheer amount of alcohol in his body shouldn't ever happen, to anyone and Tony was extremely drunk, whether he was going to admit it or not.

He opened the door to the cell and he saw the two of them sleeping. However, his loud footsteps had awoken his sister and she slipped out from under Loki's arm and put a finger to her lips. She left the room, pulling Tony behind her, seeing how drunk he was fairly instantly.

"You should sober up before this conversation happens," I warn him but he shrugs it off. 

"I'm sorry," he tells me, standing up straight but not fooling anyone about his sobriety. 

"Tony, I want to forgive you, I swear I do, but not if you're going to keep treating me like a child, okay?" I say and he can see my resolve breaking, and a smile adorns his face. 

"Please, [y/n]. I'm so sorry, I was so self-centred and so wrapped up in my own pain that I was blindsided and left you alone in the dark. Please, little sis, I need you," he practically begged and I caved, hugging him. The smell of alcohol was heavy and clung to his clothes. 

A yawn escaped Tony's lips and it was my turn to smile. 

"Bed-time, Tony," I tell him and, without much resistance, I lead him to his room and put him to bed. 

"I love you Tony, but I'm never going to stop loving Loki, either, okay?" I say, but I already know he'll have fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I smile and head back to Loki. 

At least my boys aren't fighting anymore. 


	17. Hug It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: body dysmorphia/undiagnosed Anorexia, swearing

It all started after a particularly taxing mission, that we all knew had hit Steve the hardest. Everyone was quiet, even Tony but I wanted to help the one I knew was suffering the most. I sat down on the metal seat next to him and he met my eyes, sadness filling them as fresh memories floated through his head at the sight of my wounds. Nothing too bad but it reminded him of what happened.

"Cap, how you holding up?" I asked lamely, knowing his answer. He closed his eyes again, shaking his head slowly, holding his head in his hands. I put my hand on his back supportively and, feeling my touch, he opened his eyes and stared at me for a second - making me question my choice. I stood up to leave. Instead of getting annoyed, he stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

It startled me at first but I quickly responded, hugging him in return. I could hear him quietly crying into my shoulder, soft enough that only I could hear him. I held him tightly for a few minutes until I felt his body relax and he pulled back.

"Um, thanks for that [y/n], I feel so much better now," he said, the light returning to his voice.

"Glad to be of service, I guess," I laughed.

***

Everyone began to joke that it was my superpower in the following months. Making everyone feel better through hugs. But really, it helped settle me into the team and helped me find my place. I loved the way I can be helpful to those around me in such a simple way.

It wasn't uncommon for any of the guys to find me after a stressful day or night, and just needing someone there for a while. I loved to help people and even in the small way that I can, it made me, and them feel better. It was mostly unspoken; I would never use it against them to win an argument or humiliate them.

***

"You should be mad at me, you know," Bruce whispered in my ear as we broke apart. "I woke you at 3 am again," he said, a guilty look crossing his face.

"Never, Bruce. Just glad I can help," I smiled, resting my arms on his shoulders. "You should try and get some more sleep. I'm here if you need me, I promise," I told him in my 'mother' voice and he nodded, opening the door to find Tony just about to knock on the door. His eyes were red-rimmed and I knew he'd had a nightmare. I guess I've gotten good at recognising the signs. Even in his shaken state, the classic Stark smirk crossed his face.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tony asked suggestively and Bruce instantly blushed a deep red.

"We ... No ... I don't ... I wouldn't ... " the doctor stuttered and I rolled my eyes at Tony's obvious intent to embarrass his Science Bro.

"Hey, Bruce, he didn't mean it like that, please calm down, try and sleep, yeah?" I said softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He nodded, trailing his gaze along the floor as he shuffled out of the room.

"Are you okay Tony?" I asked him and instantly the smirk was gone, and so was the light in his eyes. Wordlessly, I brought him in for a hug and I could hear his attempts at stemming the flow of tears down his face and onto my shoulder.

"Do you want to stay in here tonight?" I asked softly and he nodded meekly, so out of character from the Tony everyone knows, but not so out of character from his little visits every so often. I knew about his anxiety, so I don't want to leave him alone if he doesn't want it. I slip my hand into his and climb back into bed, still holding him. It was peaceful, the most peaceful I ever see Tony. When he's at his weakest, most vulnerable, is when I get to know him most.

***

Thor was different. He never actively seeked my help, but when I found him alone and clearly upset, despite his insistence that he was okay, he relented.

"Thank you, [y/n], I know I'm not the easiest person to try and help," he said, his voice a lot quieter than usual, and less intimidating. Without the usual godly stance, and his stature less than usual as he slouched, he was much more .. human.

I'd already turned to leave when he spoke again.

"It's about Loki," he said quietly, so quiet, I barely caught it, from the other side of the room. "I'm worried for him."

"Would you like me to talk to him?" I ask, returning to his side. Thor nodded weakly, knowing we had somewhat of a connection. Loki often came to me, mostly at night, after being stressed out about living on Midgard, or having bad dreams about the threats from Laufey or the Chituari.

"I'll speak with him, okay? Please don't worry," I said soothingly and he agreed.

I set off to find Loki, only to see him outside the door.

"Loki? I was just coming to find you," I say, almost walking into him.

"I know," he muttered, casting his gaze to the floor.

"Will you come with me to my room so we can talk?" I ask gently, and he clasps my hand before teleporting us to my room. "Very extra," I say, rolling my eyes. He cracks a small smile and I almost consider it a victory before it's instantly replaced with the melancholy look he was sporting earlier.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I pray he'll say yes, or at least let me try and help. Sometimes he can be very standoffish.

"It's nothing you need concern yourself with," he said, but his resolve was weakening. And I knew it.

"Okay," I told him, not wanting to try and push him. I still see him as quite volatile and breakable, to be honest. I don't want to set him off. "Will you stay with me, though?" I ask and he nods. We settle on my bed, me resting my head on his toned chest and I press play on what was previously on my Netflix. Guess who is watching [fav tv show] again?

"This again?" Loki questioned, a smile growing on his face.

"You know you love it," I quip back and he can't help but nod. We get 10 minutes further into it and Loki's sunk back into the headboard and isn't paying attention at all. Suddenly he grabs the remote and switches it off, facing me with tears forming in his eyes. My heart melts and I wrap my arms around him instantly.

"I just wanted to be good enough for them," Loki whispers in my ear, his voice breaking.

"Who?"

"Thor, Father, Mother, you..." he trailed off and I pulled back, shock on my face.

"Loki, you'll always be perfect for me. Yes, there's been a rocky start but we're perfect now. I promise."

"I swear if I could choose a sister, it'd be you," he tells me, smiling once again. I wholeheartedly agree.

***

Peter was the baby, though he was 15, everyone treated him like a kid who needed protecting. In truth, he would never let on that he felt like he needed it. But he did to me.

Whenever there's been an issue in Queens he couldn't do anything about, he called me in, rather than risk humiliation by calling Tony. When he was back at the tower, everyone treated him like a kid, especially Tony.

Often, when they took it a little too far, without anyone realising, Peter would leave the room, and sometimes go home to Aunt May.

When he did stay at the tower, though, it wasn't out of pattern for him to find me. He'd come to my room and we'd talk about all the mushy stuff that was built up inside of him and then he'd hug me to try and hide his crying behind my shoulder, but I always could hear it.

Not that I ever told him that.

The only other Avengers that knew about this for certain - I mean I'm sure Natasha has her guesses - was Clint, because he walked in on this. Well, I say walked in, what I mean is he dropped from the vent in my room and nearly crashed into us. For a special agent, not particularly subtle.

"Well, this is awkward," he'd said after we'd untangled ourselves. Peter had run out onto the balcony and webbed himself away and I was left scolding Clint for coming into my room via the vents.

"I'm sorry, [y/n], I didn't think," Clint muttered and I shook off his apology.

"It's okay, now what did you want?" I asked, getting back to the point.

"A hug?" he asked tentatively and I smiled.

"You don't need to ask," I replied softly, bringing him in.

***

A few days later, Bucky was brought to the tower, by Steve and Sam. Sam veered off away from them instantly, though the rest of the team stayed on their best behaviour pretty much all day, and into the next week.

Sam avoided everyone, even Steve and I began to wonder if something had happened whilst they were out looking for Bucky. So I went to find him. 

He was hiding away in his room, and around him were pictures from files from his days in the military with Riley. 

Crap, Riley. It would have been his birthday yesterday. Damn. Definitely should have been sharper on that one. 

"Sam," I asked hesitantly from the doorway. He looks up and then away, brushing the tears from his eyes. "Oh Sam," I say, coming over to him. I sit on the edge of the bed and grab his hand, looking over all the photos. 

"Is this Riley?" I ask, gesturing to a photo of two men flying in the air, one of them Sam. Sam nods, taking the photo in his hand. 

"That was the day of our last run together, when he was shot out of the air," Sam said morosely, his voice breaking near the end. 

I move some of the photos and side-hug him, resting my head on his shoulder, looking over the photos. After a while, he kisses the top of my head and we stand, walking back towards the living room, hands still clasped. Before we can get there, though, and whilst I'm still looking at Sam, I walk into someone. Someone whose bloody arm must be made of metal or some shi-- oh. Bucky. 

"Um, hello," he says and I smile at him, as I feel Sam discreetly drop my hand. 

"Hi, you're Bucky, right? We've never been properly introduced. I'm [y/n]," I say and I don't know how else to greet him. My usual move is a hug but I've been instructed by Steve not to, in the nicest way possible and I totally understand. 

He reaches out to shake my hand and I return it, still smiling. He gives me a small smile. Given what I've heard, I'd call it a victory. 

With Sam reintegrated into the group, morale was high, except for when Thor had to leave urgently on Asgard business. He promised to be back soon, which I told him I'd hold him to. Soon for Asgard was different to soon on Earth. 

For the first week, Bucky was here, he'd stayed in Steve's room, the one opposite mine, and then when Steve was given a solo assignment, he'd stayed in there as well. Every night I woke up hearing, first Bucky's screaming then Steve's comforting and quite often the thudding of furniture when Bucky was trapped in Winter Soldier mode, or they started doing something else. I ran with Steve in the mornings and there were times I went in, fully expecting Steve to be awake and instead I found a tangle of limbs. 

I never mentioned it, except when Steve asked if I'd heard anything. I was honest. It resulted in lots of blushing from Steve and me laughing a crap ton. 

During Steve's solo assignment, Bucky barely slept. I could hear him pacing for hours and hours into the night and early morning before he gave up and went to the gym. His second favourite place in the tower, so I'm told. 

This happened three night in a row before I intervened. 

"Bucky?" I called through the door on the fourth night, and the pacing stopped and the door opened a few minutes afterwards. 

"Yes?" he almost growled and I flinched slightly. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, [y/n]. Adjusting to this life isn't as easy as I expected."

I nodded, sympathising with his predicament. 

"Maybe I could help?" I ask and I opened my arms. He hesitated, looking confused for a moment but I didn't push him. 

"You should know..." he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. 

"I know about you and Steve, and believe me, I'm happy for you both. I'm just trying to be a friend," I tell him, as sincerely as I could manage. 

"A friend?" He tested out the word and seemed to come to a good conclusion. He stepped forward into my arms and I could feel the gravity of this moment. In the definition of bad timing, Steve came out of the elevator door at that moment and we broke apart, looking guilty. 

"Well, now that you lovers are back together, maybe we can all get some sleep, yeah?" I ask, laughing at their shocked expressions as I turn away, going back into my room. 

"Well, you heard the lady," Bucky said, his voice muffled because of the door. I heard the soft sound of bodies colliding into a hug and then a kiss. I could imagine them smiling and getting into bed, hugging and getting things back to normal. 

***

It was four months that Thor was away, four months that I had to deal with Loki for, but nonetheless was an okay four months. Work was good, my special job was great, yet I seemed to feel ... somewhat down, constantly. I blamed it on missing Thor, who was like my brother, though that didn't seem right either. 

To combat it, I spent more time training, pushing myself further and further, to the point I almost beat Natasha in combat training. _Almost._

Thor's return was somewhat unplanned and he got back to the tower when no-one else was there. We were all out on a mission, even Loki and Bucky, who didn't often come on missions. But the entire team was needed and we came out with a victory. When we got out of the jet in the hangar, Thor was waiting. He greeted Loki and the rest of the team, but I was the last one off the jet. I'd been feeling a little off on the flight home, nothing too bad, just an empty feeling in my stomach. 

"Where is Lady [y/n]?" Thor boomed and everyone turned around, looking about. I was just getting off the jet when Thor swept me up into a bear hug. 

"Gods, Lady [y/n], there's barely any of you left to hug!" He exclaimed, a smile still on his face. I coughed once he let go, and on bringing my hand away from my mouth, I saw blood. My instinct was to throw up, but with my stomach so empty, all I threw up was more blood. 

"[y/n]!" Thor cried, getting the attention of the team back. I saw slowly losing consciousness and I felt Thor catch me before I hit the floor. 

***

When I awoke, Bruce was in the room, attending to bags filled with fluids, that were being pumped inside me. As soon as I could, I took out some of the needles but Bruce caught my hands before I could take the second one out. 

"No, [y/n], you need to leave them there, okay?" he said, his eyes filled with worry. 

"How long was I out?" I ask and then I see I'm not wearing my combat suit, instead, I'm wearing a loose t-shirt that is not mine. But before I can get my answer, basically the entire team comes in. 

In the distraction, I begin slipping the needles out of my arm. 

Everyone's talking loudly and everything seems to be amplified like I'm hungover or something. Bruce moves away from my bed and to speak quietly with Tony. I take that as my chance. I slip the monitor off my finger that's counting my heart rate and stand up. I go dizzy for a second but then it's gone. But attempt to slip out of the room wasn't possible as the monitor begins to go crazy when the counter finds no pulse. 

"[y/n], what are you doing?" Steve asks me but I have no answer for him. None that I'd give in front of the team, anyway. When I don't respond, he comes over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, then flinches away. 

"What, am I that repulsive?" I snap, staring defiantly at him. 

"No, I ju-just wasn't expecting to feel bone," he stutters and I roll my eyes. 

"You touched my fucking shoulder, yes there are bones there." 

Silence. I was always the happy one, never shouted or snapped. 

"How long was I out?" I ask, and from all the looks I'm getting, I take it that it was longer than I'd assumed. 

"Five days," Tony answers, once it's clear no-one else is willing to. 

"Fuck," I whisper, wrapping my arms around my waist. My tiny waist. I can feel my hip bones protruding out of it. In the window, I can see my reflection and I pull the shirt tight behind my back and I could easily count my ribs. Fuck. 

"[y/n]..." Steve begins gently but I shake my head. 

"Please don't try and make this out to be not as bad as it looks. It's fucking terrible, I can see that. I-I just don't know how to fix it," I whisper the ending, my voice failing me. 

"Then let us help you," Thor told me, walking over and taking my hand. "Please, Lady [y/n], let us help."

"Okay." I hear the word slip out, not realising it would be so easy. 


	18. It's A Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Loki/Maximoff/Rogers x Reader
> 
> [y/s/n] = your surname

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: language, character death (discussed)

The mission was going south, everyone could see that. Tony had been reduced to hand to hand combat in the suit, Hydra managing to disable it temporarily with some specialised technology targetting the suit's AI. Clint had long run out of arrows and had taken a gun from one of the fallen agents, which inevitably would run out of bullets. I was partnered with Steve and we were both becoming exhausted, our movements becoming gradually slower.

"Guys, I think we need to fall back," I called through comms, listening to everyone's grunts of both effort and agreement. I know I should have made this call a lot earlier, as it had been easy to see, from pretty much the beginning, how futile this attempt was. Steve and I were furthest from the Quinjet and we began making our way back when a bullet came out of nowhere and Steve fell, a scream escaping his lips. He fell backwards, the shield dropping from his arm.

"Steve's hit! We need to be back at the jet now," I yelled and everyone answered back with concerns. I clicked off my comms, feeling their words bounce around my head, distracting me from Steve's fallen form. I search his uniform for the entry point of the wound and find it near the star on his chest.

"You can't carry me," Steve whispered as I dropped to my knees by his side. I shook my head. His eyes fluttered and sorrow coursed through me.

"Steve, stay awake. I'm getting us out of here, okay?" I said, using my commanding tone and he nodded weakly. He coughed and blood dribbled out. Our eyes met in panic and I looked around for any signs of someone coming to help. Even if they had they would be too slow.

"This is going to hurt, okay? I'm sorry in advance," I whispered to him gently and he nodded, bracing himself for the pain. I put one arm underneath his shoulders and the other under his knees, and picked him up, with ease. I quickly picked up speed, seeing Iron Man flying behind me, heading to the jet, via our previous location.

Once at the jet, Bruce had a table ready, and I laid Steve down on it, feeling his hand grasp mine.

"Stay?" He mumbled before slumping back on the table unconscious. Part of my uses as an Avenger include my capabilities as a healer. My mother was a healer, in our remote little village in Argentina. I learnt her craft, so to speak and when I was old enough, I learnt that of my father too.

He was a part of the army and was born with a gift, that he passed on to me. I'm sure it's obvious enough now.

My thoughts were interrupted. I felt Tony tapping on my shoulder. He looked like he wanted answers, as did the rest of the group.

"Not now," I told them. "Let me help Steve, then I'll explain."

I turned back to Steve, taking off my bloody gloves and pulling on protective ones. I grab the tweezers but my hands are shaking too much. Instead, I put them back on the table. My mother was gifted. My father was gifted. I was lucky enough to carry on both their genetics, giving my both their gifts.

I take off the gloves, remove my jacket, including all the weapons from my wrists, showing the glowing tattoos no-one ever saw. I kept them hidden, beneath long sleeves at all times. The image I create in front of me is the equivalent of the image that would be generated by a quantum field generator. Or a soul forge, if I was talking to an Asgardian.

The bullet wound was close to his lung, not quite penetrating it, but it was lodged in his muscle.

Thank God for muscular Steve.

Yellow energy began to flow from my fingers, and I could see the bullet moving. Back the way it came. A small distraction causes the bullet to angle slightly and it breaks the skin once again as I remove it. 

"Fuck," I hiss and I quickly regain focus to clean the blood off his chest and out of his uniform, and force the skin to regenerate to close the wound. Steve comes to, spluttering slightly and when he sees my glowing arms, he looks at me, in confusion. I bite my lip and screw up my eyes in pain at his expression. I shake my head and whisper a quick sorry before placing a hand over his forehead to knock him out. He should be asleep for a few more hours, at least until we get back to the tower. 

As pain relief. For the both of us. 

I began drumming my fingers on the table and it wasn't long before I felt a hand over mine, stopping the noise. Bruce. 

"Sorry," I mutter. I make do with biting my lip. 

"[y/n], stop. Please. Steve's fine now; you need to calm down," Tony tells me forcefully and I shake my head, in pain. I knew the consequences. It's no-one's fault but my own. 

"Tony, I need a favour," I tell him and he nods, listening intently. 

***

The rest of the flight is agonising. Everyone's eyes were on me the entire time and it wasn't for a good reason. 

I didn't listen to my warning, it's as simple as that. I was told, if I used this power I have again, the risk factor would grow closer and closer to 100. Now, it's practically already happened but I've been keeping it under wraps because it wouldn't be good for it to happen in a flying plane 12000ft above sea level. Bad plan. 

My other plan, though, seems to be going well. Getting Tony to keep his promise was easy, all I needed to give him was my word to come back to the team when I felt comfortable to. Easy for him to say, but also easy for me to delay. He spoke quietly with Clint in the cockpit and our course was altered slightly. 

My second-guessing was starting to stress me out. What if I lost control? What if I hurt someone? Would Clint be safe? 

The quin-jet landed in a clearing, not too far from Clint's home. The farm, with his wife and kids there. Oh my God, what if I hurt baby Nathaniel?

The back door opened and Clint grabbed my hand, steadying my balance. 

"Wait," I called out, turning back to the team. I ran back into the jet and pressed my hand to Steve's forehead. He woke up instantly and his face was as confused as last time. 

"Can someone fill me in?" Steve asked and he received a load of blank looks from the majority of the team. 

"Tony, shouldn't this not be happening with only one Avengers as a countermeasure?" I ask, keeping my voice level. He shrugs, then nods, thinking about the logistics. 

"I need to show you all something," I manage to get out and they follow me out of the jet. 

"If my eyes go blue, then everything is fine, and I want you all to leave and go back to saving the world, okay?" I say, tears beginning to form in my eyes. 

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Thor asked me and I shook my head. 

"Not a goodbye, I promise. If my eyes go black, then I need you to protect Clint's family and yourselves, most of all, okay? Forget it's me and do anything you need to stop me. Okay?"

"What is going on, [y/n]?" Bruce questions, worriedly. 

"You'll see," I tell him, mentally preparing myself. "I'm sorry if this goes badly," I whisper before taking several steps back. _Breathe,_ I remind myself. _Breathe._ I let myself go. 

It breaks through, changing me. My extremities begin to change first, covered with fur and m hands and feet changing into paws. I drop down onto all fours and my clothes burst off me in showers of strips of fabric. Thick glossy fur covers my skin and my body changes, growing and shaping into something else. Simultaneously, my head changes shape, elongating my nose and I become a wolf.

My eyes are the last thing to change, into a shimmering blue colour. Relief coursed through this new body and I take one last sweeping look at their stunned faces and I run off, in the direction of the forest. 

_I'm sorry,_ is my last coherent human thought. 

***

"Well, that was unexpected," Natasha says bluntly and Tony rolls his eyes. 

"You think? One minute she's crying over Steve and the next she's turning into a bloody wolf!" he exclaims, meeting everyone's eyes. Laura comes running over to Clint and they hug. She's worried, it's easy to tell. Laura liked [y/n] when they met during the Ultron debacle. 

"What else do you know, Tony?" Steve asked, still staring off into the distance where [y/n] ran off to. 

"She healed you and her tattoos were a tribal thing because her mother was a healer. She was warned this could happen again if she used her gifts but she wanted to-" Tony informed him and Bruce interrupted. 

"Which translates to you don't get to feel guilty, okay, Steve?" he assured and Steve agreed weakly. 

"Is she going to come home?" he asked, almost not wanting the answer. 

"She doesn't know if her wolf would allow it. But she promised if she could then she would."

Steve doesn't say anything else. Instead, he continues to stare into the distance. 

***16 months later***

The compound was unbelievably quiet. They'd moved from the tower to upstate New York, away from the city. Steve prefered this new place - the city was often quite suffocating, though the skyline was the perfect inspiration for his art. Though, more recently, he'd found himself drawing wolves a lot more often than he even realised until he found an entire sketchbook full of works. 

In the compound security, he'd made sure that he would be notified if any signs of [y/n] were seen, in either form. So when the wolf alarm went off, Steve was ecstatic. He ran down the front doors and could see [y/n]'s familiar coat of fur hiding behind the trees. She was lying in the shade, her coat filled with leave and small branches. 

Steve stood apprehensively back, and he had the strange sensation that she was trying to tell him something. He simply stared at her for a few minutes then it hit him. 

"Can you change?" he asked tentatively. She nodded and he could feel her rolling her eyes at him. Steve didn't understand - didn't know what his next leap of logic needed to be. She stood up on all fours and walked over to him. Instinctively, Steve froze. 

She lifted a heavy paw up to him and tried to tell him what she needed to. It finally clicked inside Steve's head. 

"You need clothes?" he said and she nodded. "Wait for me, I'll be right back," he told her and she laid down on the ground, watching Steve's back as he ran into the compound. It wasn't long until he returned and she took them in her teeth and hid behind some trees. 

When she returned, in human form, Steve didn't think, he just enveloped her in a hug. 

"Steve, I've missed you," she whispered and he tried to stop the tears from falling. 

"You didn't have to do that for me," he replied, and though the time had been over a year since it happened, she knew what he meant. 

"Yes, I did. It was important to me that you were okay, and I've learnt a lot over these past months. And I've spent about a month trying to find you guys but ..." she shrugged and they fell back into their easy pattern. 

Only now it didn't feel to be enough. 

***

Inside the compound, everyone had to say hello. Steve took me around the place, showing me where everything I would need was, as well as popping into the lab and Peter's room as well as to see the rest of the Avengers. And all the new ones. 

Natasha almost killed me with her death-grip hug, while Wanda kept her distance. Not long after, I found out about Pietro. Vision greeted me as if I never left and Thor and Loki, surprisingly, were here and insisted I showed them sometime. I agreed with confidence but Steve didn't think it was a good idea. 

Tony and Bruce were happy to see me, in their new, upgraded lab. Bruce insisted I give him some blood samples for him to work on, at a later date and I reluctantly said yes. Tony had started calling me Wolfie. Yay. Peter, the new, young Avengers - Spiderman - didn't know me before but seemed to want to get to know me. Clint, I was told, was retired and living at home. 

Days past, and life returned to normal. A few things were different, and everyone noticed the differences about me. I prefer to eat alone now, as to not gross anyone out. I spent a lot more time healing than fighting, though Steve insisted I remain battle-ready at all times. 

I spent a substantial amount of time with Loki, learning about his magic and his abilities, as well as with Peter get him to catch me up on what I missed in the 16 months I was gone. 

Then one day, I'm called to the training room, and everyone is there. 

"Am I in trouble?" I ask, my voice travelling around the room with ease. 

"No trouble, but the team and I wished for you to show us your skills, and we wanted to test your control of you 'wolfing out'," Tony told me and I agreed. I was in full control of my wolf now. There would be no issue. 

Living in a wolf form for so long, and when I returned to my pack, the shame of nudity was instantly eradicated from me. So when I began removing my shirt, I didn't think anything of it. Until Loki, of all people, stopped me. 

"What?" I asked indignantly, "I like this shirt. I don't want it ripped to shreds by my wolf, is that okay?" He nodded, shrugging. 

"For the Captain's benefit, not mine, Lady [y/s/n]," he said wickedly and Steve blushed. 

"Don't let it bother you," I told him and I stepped out of my shorts. To save Steve's embarrassment, I turned almost instantly. My eyes remained blue - which I was thankful for. I prowled over to them, and walked around them, testing out their scents. Everyone stayed very still. 

Steve was the only one who moved, resting a hand on my head. He was the only one who'd seen me like this in such close quarters before. 

"Can she understand us like this?" Bruce asked and I nodded. "Fascinating," he muttered to himself, but my wolfy hearing picked it up.

"She heard that," Loki informed and I tilted my head towards him, then remembered his ability to read minds. Maybe it'd be useful. 

"Well, seeing as there are a substantial amount of 'special abilities' in here," Bruce started, "we should test you against some of them at least today, is that okay?" I nod. "Spidey, you're up."

The team stepped back, still within range to intervene if necessary. Peter began without hesitation and sent webs flying, some of which I could dodge, but others that got caught up, mostly around my paws. With a growl, I broke through the webbing and pounced, holding Peter down but not hurting him at all. 

I jumped off him and stood to look around the room, not maliciously but calmly. 

"Loki, did you want to?" Tony asked and Loki shrugged, stepping forward anyway. I was ready for his magic, and in the time I'd been back, Loki had taught me to recognise which was the real him when he created his copies. 

As I expected, his first trick was the copies, and they surrounded me in a circle, 10 or more of them. The real Loki still stood in front of me as he was the only one who was completely solid. I lunged his way and found my assumptions to be correct. He fell back, obviously not expecting me to realise so quickly. 

_Gotta keep up, old man,_ I told him through my thoughts and he began to laugh. 

I got off him and Loki stepped back into the crowd. 

_Can I show you something?_ I asked the group through Loki and he repeated my statement aloud and they all nodded in curiosity. I concentrated for a minute, and underneath all the fur, my front legs glowed. 

I projected my healing ability all around the room and Peter's split lip healed instantly, as did the bruising around Tony's eyes from lack of sleep. Everyone felt the effects and seemed grateful. Everyone but Wanda. She left the room and I whined slightly, not understanding. My wolf wasn't very good at reading people so I felt clueless. I attempted to follow her but her magic defended her and I got a jet of red magic at me, throwing me across the room. I hit the wall, such force that my wolf was ripped from the front of my mind and I was forced back into human form. 

Peter webbed my clothes over and handed them to me before anyone could get too close. I wasn't ashamed, I just wanted to make it easier on the captain. 

"Fuck, that hurt," I said, almost nonchalantly, once I was dressed. "What did I do?" I ask, and seeing everyone's blank expressions, I gather that it was not a lot. 

"From what I could see from her mind," Loki began, almost hesitantly, "before she shut me out, she was thinking of Pietro and his fatal injuries. And how [y/n] potentially could have saved him." 

Loki's words weighed on my mind and hung heavily in the room. Could I have saved Pietro? My powers weren't strong enough back then, nor did I know how to use them properly. But would never know. Unless...

"No, [y/n]." Loki said aloud, and everyone turned to me. 

"Where was Pietro buried?" I ask, ignoring Loki. 

"On the grounds, here," Vision answered, his usual monotone almost breaking. 

"I need to try," I tell, primarily to Loki who is still looking at me like I'm crazy. 

"You'll kill yourself trying. Even you don't have that kind of healing power. Please, [y/n], be rational," Loki tried to reason but I'd made up my mind. 

"I can project my power, and whilst I was with my pack, I resurrected a man who'd died a few days earlier. But it's risky, he's been dead for months. But I have to try. Trust me," I tell the Avengers who have crowded around me, seeing the glowing defiance in both my eyes and the near-sentient tattoos on my arms. 

"Okay," Steve says, and Loki looks up, surprised. 

"You can't be serious, Captain! She could die, quite easily, giving her power away like that!"

"By my calculations," interrupted Vision, "There is an 85% chance of success to resurrect Mr Maximoff," he paused and I threw a smirk at Loki, "but there is also a 71% chance it will consume too much of Miss [y/s/n]'s power and prove fatal for her."

"There's a higher chance Pietro will live, I'll take it." My words cause both Loki and Steve to wince, but my hearing picks up a sharp intake of breath from the corridor. 

The only one not in here is ... Wanda. 

"Wanda?" I called out and she shyly stepped into view. 

"You'd do that? For me and Piet?" she asked, her accent heavier due to emotion. 

"Of course I would, Wanda. I have to try, at the very least."

***

Wanda showed me to her brother's grave. It was clean and white roses were dotted around. 

We limited the number of people who could come, so it wouldn't affect concentration. Obviously, Wanda came, as did Vision, partly for Wanda and partly to monitor me survival chances and, in worse case scenario, break me away from the healing. 

Steve wished to come, and Loki refused to let me go without him. Bruce was ready in the MedBay, in case we needed him there. Tony was offering people drinks inside, causing me to bark out a laugh. 

Thor was unhappy he was forced inside but understood and him and Peter kept each other calm. Bucky and Sam weren't too happy either but they settled for sparring to keep nerves low. Natasha was with Bruce, making sure he didn't let his emotions out of control. 

My powers extended to anything related to healing and helping others, so I could simply bring Pietro up out of the ground. Or project my powers so I didn't have to. 

"You'll need to step back, he'll be very confused," I tell Wanda gently and she folds herself into Vision's arms. I set my headspace, ignoring those around me. I could tell Loki was invading my mind and I didn't care. 

_Focus on Pietro._

Blue light emanated from my hands and arms and I remembered and recited the words my mother had taught me for this situation. The earth around us started to shift and the power lifted me and people behind me stepped back further. My eyes went black as I focussed on the cause of his death. The bullets were already removed and I closed the holes and pumped new blood into his veins, giving new life to his skin. His body floated in the air with me and I cast my hand over it, beginning to feel a little weaker. 

I gave my life to him, starting his breathing back up and waiting for his heart to pick up where it left off. Once his eyes opened of their own accord, I knew it was done. I lowered us down, steadying him from behind. Wanda gasped and I knew she would have passed out if Vision had not been steadying her. 

He was able to stand of his own accord, his eyes focused on his sister. 

"Wanda?" He asked his voice quiet, but with a heavy Sokovian accent. 

"Pietro!" She cries and runs into his arms. They're muttering together in Sokovian, whispering and reassuring each other. 

"Thank you, [y/n]," Wanda tells me, and I kind of hear her, but everything is going fuzzy. 

"No problem..." I manage to say before collapsing to the floor. 

***

I woke up in a hospital room, and my head turns to panic before I remember. I'm with the Avengers, it's okay. Steve is resting in a plastic chair beside me and I can see the lack of sleep he's been getting - it's evident on his face. 

"On your left," I whisper and he wakes, a smile on his face. 

"That's my thing," he replies and then calls Bruce through. 

"Your vitals look good, and I think you're good to go," he tells me after a brief examination. 

"Is Pietro okay?" I ask and Bruce nods. 

"Yes, it's quite amazing really. You did it, [y/n] and I think the twins would like to thank you properly, without you collapsing. They're in Wanda's room." I thank Bruce and I promise to meet Steve later (he wants to do dinner but I think I'll have to skip that one), and I head off the to Maximoff room. 

I knock on the open door and Pietro runs by me, placing me to sit on the bed between them. 

"Was that necessary?" I ask, smiling at the obvious happiness between the reunited twins. 

"Yes, [y/n], it was," Pietro tells me and I shrug. 

"Okay." There's a moment of silence and Wanda begins the conversation. 

"Thank you, [y/n]. You risked your life for Piet's and it means the world to us," she tells me, teary-eyed. 

"I had to, had to try because I knew it could turn out to this," I say, gesturing to the two of them. The clear bubble they've been living in since I resurrected him. 

"But you didn't have to," Pietro starts and Wanda gave him a strange look. "It was your choice, which shows everyone here how much of a great person you are, and how willing you are to help. Thank you, [y/n], I know we can never repay this debt."

***

"Something smells good," I say, walking into the kitchen to find Steve and Bucky cooking and Sam sneaking ingredients to eat raw. 

Just as they turn around, I grab a cube of raw meat and toss it into my mouth. They stare. 

"What, Sam's been nicking food for the last five minutes," I say indignantly. 

"Not raw meat, I don't think," Steve points out and I just shrug. 

"I'm half-wolf, what do you expect?" I ask and Bucky shrugged in response. 

"You not to eat raw meat while in human form?" He asked, with a touch of sarcasm. Wow. 

"I've gotten used to it, living wild for almost a year and a half. It became a habit - plus it tastes better." Sam's left the kitchen and Bucky soon follows, whispering something in Steve's ear that I hear, but I know I shouldn't have heard it. 

So I choose to ignore it. 

"Is this why you've refused when I've asked you for dinner... I mean, when we've been cooking ... I mean ... when we eat," he finished lamely and I walk over to him and put a hand on his chest. 

"Don't be embarrassed, yeah? I wanted to but I didn't want to repulse you. But I can be normal from time to time, dinner, yeah?" I ask and he nods, smiling. I turn towards the stove but he grabs my waist and kisses me before I can react. I kiss him back. 

"I love you," he murmurs against my lips and I smile. I'd loved him for the longest time, too. 

"I love you too," I whisper and he chuckles softly against my lips as we kiss again. 


	19. Reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor/Loki x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: abuse, language, parent death

On Asgard, almost everyone appeared to have a perfect life, at least by my standard. I was working in possibly one of the worst places - the palace dungeons. Constant barrages of angry prisoners and it was my job to deliver meals and attend to the wounds they gave each other. That was a regular chore.

I'm a healer to all the prisoners, and a maid to just one. The royal prisoner - Loki Odinson, God of mischief.

He was rude, disrespectful and unbelievably arrogant for someone living in a prison cell. Upon Queen Frigga's orders, I was to attend to him and try and make his life livable in the solitary prison cell, adorned with cushy furniture and any book he wanted.

As I much as I could, I tried to keep my distance. Tidy the opposite side of the cell when he was reading, take as long as I wanted on errands to the library, only coming near him to hand over the plates of food I was commanded to bring him.

He got through books so quickly, and now he did not a lot else, I should have to ask Prince Thor to bring books back from Midgard to please him.

When I got time off, I was called Loki's servant by all my friends, but I don't see my job like that. It's a personal favour for the Queen, as she has done so much for me and my younger brothers after my parents died in battle. And I don't see Loki as a weapon of mass destruction like many others do. He's in his rebellious phase, similar to something almost all of us go through, he just had the misfortune of having the power to be able to do something with that rebellious streak.

In my head, when I speak to Loki, I have so many remarks ready to snap back at him when he's rude, but I bite them back. I'm supposed to address him as My Prince, but I often refuse to do so. Loki is Loki to me, nothing more. Except for a pain in my ass sometimes.

Today, he was in a particularly grumpy mood. I could tell without even having to walk into the cell.

"This book you brought, I read it already. Get me another," he commanded and I almost bit my lip to stop myself retorting something rude, but Ithe words were tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. 

"You know, I'm not your slave, you can't keep treating me like shit," I yell across the cell and he stands up, raising his black brows. I stand my ground, considering my other options but dismissing them. I've said enough to lose my job now, I might as well continue. 

I stare into his blue eyes defiantly and he stalks over to where I'm standing, towering over me by quite a lot. 

"You're not a slave, no. But a meagre maid attending to prisoners in the Allfather's dungeon. What value to do you have to anyone?" He asked silkily, staring down at me. Instinctively, I step back and he backs me into the corner. Panic begins to set in and I attempt to mask it with a cool expression, but the look on his face tells me he isn't so easily fooled. 

"Scared little girl, what are you going to do now? Run home to mummy and daddy, sobbing about a bad day at work?" He taunts and something snaps inside of me. 

"You don't know shit about me. I have people who depend on me to come home each damn night, exhausted and I see their faces filled with sympathy because I spend each day working my butt off for a psychopath," I intended to yell but it came out quieter, meeker than I would have liked. Shock crossed his face for the tiniest of seconds but it's quickly replaced with the hate I see from his every day. 

"Who? Some boyfriend that'll leave you when he gets bored, or worse, parents that'll abandon you in fear?" he asks, skeptically and, once again, I run my mouth. 

"And you'd know all about being abandoned, wouldn't you, Loki _Laufeyson_ ," I taunt back and a stinging slap lands on my face. The glass slips from my hand that I'd been taking in and shatters at our feet as my hand rests on my reddening cheek. I bend down to pick up the bigger pieces, refusing to meet his eyes. I take the book out of his slackening grip and leave the cell, not turning back, knowing I'd see the malice in his eyes, and perhaps pride or some sort of anger. I wasn't ready to face that yet. 

***

I kept my pace slow as I headed for the library, staring at the floor as to not attract attention. 

"Lady [y/n]!" As I hear my name I groan, turning to face the other prince. 

"My Gods, [y/n], what happened to your face?" he asks, gently cradling the bruise. I shake his hand away and he stares intently at me, his eyes widening when it finally clicked. "Was this my brother, [y/n]? My mother should never have let you work in such close quarters as him, it was too dangerous..." he trails off, seeing the horror in my face. 

"No, Prince Thor, please don't tell Queen Frigga, I need this job, you don't understand, my brothers..." I ramble on and on but Thor simply watches, fascinated and eventually stops me by pressing a finger against my moving lips. 

"Please, just call me Thor, no need for formalities. And, if you wish, I shall not inform my mother. But I will keep a closer eye on Loki, to ensure your safety, my Lady." I agree meekly and continue to the library, feeling Thor's gaze on my back as I walked away. As soon as I rounded a corner, I leant against the wall, feeling the gravity of the situation. I had two of the princes on my back, one who hated me, and one who wanted to protect me from the other. 

What, by the Gods, is going on?

***

I exchange the book swiftly, hurrying back to the cell to avoid any other altercations. But when I got there, Thor was speaking with Loki, pinning him against the wall, his face serious as Loki's was filled with ... guilt? That's a new one. 

I let myself in, placing the book on the table. They didn't hear me.

"Um, hey?" I say, starling them both out of their hushed conversation. Before Thor could begin, a guard appeared at the cell wall, shout for Thor to come urgently. 

"We'll discuss this later, okay, Lady [y/n]?" I heard him yell as he ran after the guard, summoning Mjolnir and taking off in the direction of the guard's orders. 

"Let me make this clear. I don't like you, but I'm not about to hold that against you," I said firmly, and he knew I meant the slap. "I took that too far, it wasn't fair for me to say that, I had no right to know in the first place. I am to continue with my post here but your brother seems under the impression I need protecting from you, which I will give him a certain degree of power here. Any objections?" I ask and he stands there, stunned. 

"I'm sorry," he allows the words to tumble from his pale lips, guilt flashing across his features. 

"Excuse me?" I ask, not sure I heard correctly. Was Loki apologising? To me, of all people?

"Yes, I'm apologising to you, you're the person whom I owe it to most, aside maybe those Midgardians," he amends, and I realise I spoke my thoughts aloud. 

"I appreciate it, but I'd just like to get on with my job, here, please," I tell him quietly, refusing to make eye contact. I picked up the shards of the glass were still on the floor and busied myself with my work, entirely aware that Loki's gaze never left my turned back. 

***

I was still cleaning his cell when a guard appeared with a sombre expression adorned on his face.

"Loki? I was instructed to tell you, by Prince Thor, that Queen Frigga of Asgard is dead." Loki nodded slightly at the guard and I prepared myself for his yelling. Anything bad made him treat people like shit, and though he had apologised, pain can do things to people, change them into the worst version of themselves. When his yelling didn't come, I finished my work quickly and set about leaving when his quiet voice brought me back.

"[y/n]," he whispered, barely audible. I turned around to see the pained expression on his face, and how close he was to the breaking point.

"Yes?" I asked, confused. This was the opposite of what I'd expected. 

"Will you stay? Please?" His voice cracked at the end and tears flowed freely down his pale face. I dropped my cleaning things and walked over to him and hugged him, not dissimilarly to how I would with my younger brother. He froze at first, then relaxed into the motion, his tears pooling on my shoulder, creating a patch darker than the rest of my shirt. 

Eventually, he stopped crying and he straightened up temporarily, but his body was weak and exhausted. I helped him over to his bed and laid him down in it, pulling a blanket over his cold body. He refused to let go of my hand, and I didn't have the heart to take it away from him, so I sat by his bed, resting my head on the frame, waiting for him to fall asleep. 

"I'm sorry, [y/n]," he whispered, his blue eyes capturing mine. I shake my head. 

"Don't apologise, it's okay," I whisper back. He leans towards me, going to kiss me, but I stop him. "Loki, we shouldn't, not when you aren't seeing things clearly," I mutter and he nods, disappointment written plainly on his face. 

Sleep overtook him soon after and innocence adorned his face. It was such a stark contrast from earlier when I could see nothing but anger and hate. I pressed a kiss to his forehead, before slipping my hand out from under his and I leave the cell, a stupid smile on my face. 


	20. Frost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Barnes/Rogers x Reader
> 
> Your codename is Frost, which is what you're called throughout :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: language, torture (mentioned)

The city was tricky, ever-changing and too many people to keep track of. Familiarity was setting in slowly, but I was unable to pinpoint it. It was a sensation I was getting used to. Being completely lost. 

The way here was simple, hiding on a cargo ship across the ocean from Europe to New York. The Avengers tower was easy to find - I'd never failed to locate my mission. No, not _mission._ I was here out of choice, free will - a foreign concept to me. 

Choice not mission. The words would have more gravity to them if they were said aloud, with emotion behind them. I lost my right to emotion, as I lost my own identity. 

I entered the building with easy, the doors opened and I expected someone to run and attempt to detain me. When no-one came, and a receptionist greeted me from behind a desk, I straightened up and looked at her. 

I'd already scoped out my surroundings and found all the exit routes, as well as possible weapons. Anything is a weapon if you try hard enough. 

_I'm not here to kill anyone,_ I remind myself, struggling with old habits. 

"Can I help you?" A high-pitched voice asked and I cringed at how sickly it sounded in my ears. The woman behind the desk was short, business-like and posed no threat. 

_Not that many people did._

"I need to speak with Captain America," I told her, my tone void of any emotion. 

"I'm sorry, Miss, but he's not here," she replies and I spot her lie instantly. 

"I think you misunderstood. I need to see Captain America, and I know he's here," I tell her, refusing to let myself reach of the knife strapped to my arm. A little fear ran into her expression but she refused once again. 

"Damnit!" I shouted at her, jumping over the desk and pressing a knife to her throat. "I need to see Captain America about the Winter Soldier. Why is that so fucking difficult to process?" I ask her and I see the red alert on the screen. She must have triggered a silent alarm. Fuck. 

Five men burst into the room, all from exits I'd spotted earlier, with guns aimed at me and riot shields at the ready. I let the knife clatter to the ground. I don't like stepping away from a fight I would win. 

_I didn't come here to fight,_ I remind myself, putting my hands behind my head. 

"I need to see Captain America, and I know he's here, along with the Winter Soldier," I tell the security, my tone blank, once again. 

The man at the head of the five, looked confused at me. 

"Winter Soldier's not public knowledge. How do you know about this?" he asked me and I shook my head. 

"I will speak only to Captain America," I tell him and he calls in a woman, Natasha, he calls her, and her eyes widen. She instantly takes cuffs off the head security guy and tightens them around my wrists, behind my back. They're still loose enough for me to slip. I'm taken to an interrogation room, with two-way glass. Natasha cuffs me to the table and leaves. I wait patiently, knowing she'll be back. 

***

Natasha looks in on the other side of the glass, watching the woman cuffed to the chair. She gets out her phone and calls Steve, disregarding the time. It's five in the morning. Steve answers his phone quickly, as usual. 

"This is Steve," he says and she can hear in his voice that he just woke up. 

"Steve, you're needed at the tower," Nat tells him quickly, waiting for his response. 

"I swear if Tony has zapped Bruce into Hulking out, he can deal with it himself," Steve grumbled, not yet moving out of his comfy bed. 

"No, no Hulk this morning. You have someone who insists on speaking to you, and only you," she said solemnly, before adding as an afterthought, "Friday, wake up Tony, and tell him to bring the Mach 108 and guard the door." 

"Wait, why do you need Tony in the suit?" Steve asked, getting up and dressed immediately at the sign of any danger. 

"It's just a precaution, she hasn't done anything yet," Nat calms him and Steve rolls his eyes to himself at her ambiguity. "Oh, and you're gonna need to bring Barnes, he'll be mad if he isn't in the loop for this one."

"Who is it, Natasha?" he asks, his patience thinning. 

"Frost." Her word stunned him into silence and once he collected his scattered thoughts he asked the question he feared the answer to. 

"Did she kill anyone?" He held his breath. 

"No, surprisingly," she answered and he stood, momentarily confused before finishing getting dressed. 

"I'll be there in a few, I need to get Bucky as well," he told her, before clicking off his phone. "Shit," Steve swore as he rushed down to Bucky's room. He knocked on the door and opened it when he heard his friend's voice. 

"Bucky, we have a situation," Steve told him, not messing around with any of the details. "Frost is here and apparently she's looking for me."

Fuck, is anyone dead?" Bucky asked, standing up from his desk. 

"No. But only because she didn't want them dead." Steve's voice was filled with fear, and sorrow for his friend. Their past was complicated enough, without her actually coming here. 

"Well, let's see what she wants," he said, not bothering to keep the anger out of his expression.

***

"Maybe you should wait here," Natasha warned Bucky when the pair of them reached the interrogation room. 

"Yup, I'll take that," he said, standing by the window, seething with anger towards the woman currently tied to the chair. Steve took one last look at his friend before pushing the door open. Tony had nothing to say, for once. 

Natasha hovered in the back corner, her eyes constantly fixed on Frost, flinching at her every move, anticipating an attack. 

"Captain," she said, nodding slightly.

"Call me Steve. Why are you here?" he asked, his manners preceding his bluntness. 

So you know who I am, yes?" she asked and Steve nodded. 

"You're Frost, infamous Hydra agent/assassin, a reputation that could rival that of the Winter Soldier. Why are you here?" 

"I want your help," she said, unafraid as Steve simply stared at her. "The Winter Soldier has a life now, as a normal person. He used to speak of wanting this kind of life, every time he regained even a shred of memory. He talked of you, Captain America, Steve Rogers, in his sleep. I want to be free of Hydra, just like he is now." Steve didn't remove his gaze from her, disbelief clouding his eyes. Then he noticed the blood staining her sleeve. 

"What happened there?" he asked, jerking his head towards the injury. 

"I cut out the Hydra tracker in my arm and stitched up the wound. It looks worse than it is," she says, nonchalantly. Despite his better judgement, Steve is inclined to believe her. 

"Okay, I'm going to take you to Bruce and he'll do a quick medical, to check for backup trackers or anything else Hydra may have put inside you. Nat, tighten those cuffs, will you? She'll be able to slip those easily," he tells her and she internally rolls her eyes. Now, Frost knows she won't be able to escape. 

"What kind of medical?" Frost asks, recalling all the things Hydra did, that they called 'medical'. 

"Standard stuff, X-Ray, CT scan, blood analysis, nothing to be concerned about," Steve told her, a little confused at her tone. 

"Are you going to freeze me?" Frost asked, looking at her scarred hands. 

"God, no. That's not what we do here. We won't freeze you, brainwash you, erase memories. We're not Hydra," Steve assures me and for some reason, Frost is comforted by his assurance. Comfort. That's a sensation she's not used to. 

Steve leaves the room, Natasha following. 

"So, here's the little Hydra-freezer-amnesiac 2.0?" Tony asks, a missile still on his shoulder and ready to fire at a single word's notice. 

"She needs a medical if she's staying in the glass complex until we figure this out," Steve told him firmly and Tony reluctantly put the missile away but still had his repulsers ready. 

As they passed Bucky, recognition flashed on Frost's face. 

"Soldier," she greeted and Bucky had to restrain himself from punching her then and there whilst Natasha was restraining her. 

"Frost," he growled, watching her with eagle-eyes as she passed him. As they went past him, Bucky stooped and took the handgun from her boot. He tucked it into his pants and followed them to the lab. 

***

As another man came into my view, Steve stopped and waited for me, Natasha and the Winter Soldier to pass. Then he locked the door. 

"You need to put this on," Natasha instructed me and I took the plastic-feeling gown out of her hand. 

"I can't unless you untie me," I address them all and the Winter Soldier's expression hardened. 

"Bucky, it's okay," Steve said. I looked confused between the two of them. 

"Who the hell is Bucky?" I ask, staring between the two of them. Steve's expression hollowed like I'd punched him. I couldn't work out why. 

"I'm Bucky," the Winter Soldier told me and I nodded. 

"Does everyone here have multiple names?" I ask, struggling to keep up. The Winter Soldier. Bucky? 

"Pretty much," Natasha answered, unlocking the cuffs. I take off my leather jacket and the cool air washes over my exposed skin. The cold was so familiar. Everyone is staring. I remember the burn scars that cover my left arm - but I don't remember how it happened. I take off the black t-shirt I'm wearing underneath and fold it onto one of the chairs. As I'm turned away I take off my underclothes, seeing Steve's red face in the reflection of the window. Only it looks like it's a mirror. 

I would bet money that there's someone on the other side, watching us. 

I pull the gown over my head and remove the rest of my clothing. As I turn around, the other man indicates to the table. I lie down on it and work to calm my nerves. 

_If I die, I die. I have nothing left to lose,_ I tell myself and I let the man in the white lab coat do whatever he has to do. Once he's done, I'm given back my clothes, and Natasha assures me she left no weapons in them, and she takes me to a glass cell. I stand in the centre of it, watching as she leaves. 

***

"She's medically fine, better than fine," Bruce informed Steve and Bucky after Natasha left with Frost. 

"What do you mean?" Steve asked and Bucky had a faraway look in his eyes. 

"She had the same serum, didn't she?" Bucky asked and a single nod from Bruce confirmed it. 

"Yes. That's how she had managed to survive all her injuries, during what is presumably her Hydra training. Did you see all her scars?" he asked and Bruce already knew the answer. How could you miss them? 

"Scars covered 62% of her body, that's more than Bucky," Bruce told them and Steve sucked in a breath. More scars than Bucky. So maybe she'd been with Hydra for longer? 

"I remember her," Bucky blurted out suddenly, and he now had both sets of eyes on him. "From before, during my time with _them,_ I think we could have worked together?"Bucky's tone was questioning but neither Steve or Bruce could provide answers. It was frustrating and Bucky entirely blamed Frost for showing up. 

"X-Rays showed that every major bone in her body had been broken, at least once, and never allowed to properly heal. I would run more tests but I'm concerned about making her feel like she's cornered. She was jumpy enough during those few, you start anything else..." Bruce trailed off, the implication clear. 

"She'd attack," Tony finished as he walked in the room, without the suit. "As much as a Hulk v Frost showdown would make headlines, it's probably not the smartest idea." 

"Now you have some sense," exclaimed Steve, exasperated. "Where was that last week when you shot Bruce with a paintball gun?"

"Probably in a bottle," Tony shrugged. 

"We should tell Frost she's free of trackers, any volunteers?" Bruce asked and Steve sighed. 

"I'll go," he said, taking the file from the table. The men in the room smiled gratefully at him, though Bucky's expression was still clouded. Steve left uneasily, not wanting his best friend to lose himself in his thoughts. 

He passed Natasha on the way down and he gave her a reassuring smile. 

"Everything is gonna be fine," he assured her but she couldn't return the faith. 

***

My cell was boring; I hadn't expected anything different. But it was more than I'd had at Hydra. A heater, a hot shower, blankets. All designed to give warmth - a foreign concept. I'd gotten so used to the cold. 

A knock came at the door and it opened straight away. Steve walked in, with a file in his hand. 

"I have your medical," he tells me and he sits on the edge of the bed. "Frost, sit down, no-one is going to attack you." I sit warily, ready to move at a second's notice. 

"There's no trackers or anything, you're clean," he told me and I sighed, relieved. A part of me always thought there could be. 

"You appear to have the same serum that was given to Bucky, which gave you your strength," he told me, looking intently at my face to gage a reaction. I know disappointment flashed across my features because it was true. I thought I was just well-trained, not given the job 50% easier. I wanted to be better than that. 

But then again, Bucky had the same thing, so it was a level playing field. 

"Do you remember anything about your training?" Steve asked me gently and hot flashes of pain crossed my mind. I remembered all of them. Every knife, every bullet, every broken bone. I pushed it all away.

"No," I told him, and he believed my lie. I think he'd understand it, too. The door opened again and I stood, my eyes darting around the room, trying to find a way to get out. 

"Stop doing that," Bucky told me, his voice void of any emotion. Everyone looked at him. 

"I wasn't doing anything," I tell him defensively. 

"Yes, you were because I still do that every time I enter a room," he sighed. I conceded a little, taking a tiny step away from him. 

"Anyway, I could stop you before you'd get to the door," he adds snarkily and before I can get a word in, Steve glares at him. 

"That was a shitty thing to say," he tells Bucky sternly and I couldn't help but mutter. 

"As if." 

"Okay, as much as this could be entertaining, an Ex-Hydra Super-Soldier showdown really isn't necessary," Tony said, and Steve nodded, still staring at Bucky. We both nodded, at the same time.

"You two are creepily alike," Natasha mumbles. 

"We are nothing alike," we both growled at the same time. 

"Damnit," we muttered and we glared at each other. 

"We're here because we think we can find out when Hydra took you," Natasha cut in. 

"You mean when _he_ took me," I ask, staring directly at Bucky. "That's my only memory, being at home -- wherever home was, I don't know -- and being knocked out by a man with a metal arm," I spoke without my voice wavering once. Anger laced my gaze and Bucky shifted uncomfortably. 

"You know that wasn't his choice," Steve told me gently and I broke my stare. 

"Yes. But I don't have to like him." 

"Frost, do you want to do this or not?" Tony barked and I nodded. 

"You're from England, as far as we can tell, with your accent," Natasha began and I nodded. "Do you remember?" she asked and I shook my head. 

"No, but you talk differently to how I do," I told them and Natasha shrugged. 

"World history wouldn't have been erased by a memory-wipe. What is the last major conflict you remember?" Bruce - the doctor - asked me. 

"World war two. I remember helping, with the war effort, back in London but it ended in 1945, summertime, I think," I tell them and I get nods. 

"Do you know who the prime minister of Britain is?" Natasha asked and this one I was confident in answering. 

"Harold Macmillan," and Tony raised his eyebrows but didn't say a word. 

"Do you know the American president?" Bruce asked and I nodded. 

"Yeah, JFK." More confused looks. "How does knowing this help?" I ask and they look at me with pity. Or, at least, I think it's pity. I'm not good with emotions. 

"What happened to JFK, Frost?" Tony asked and I tried to recall it but my memory failed, as per usual. My blank look only increased the secretive glances. 

"JFK was assassinated in 1963, in November," Steve told me gently. I don't know why; I had no attachment to him. My blank look showed his words clearly didn't mean anything to me. 

"Frost, this means you were probably taken by Hydra between 1961 and before the end of 1963. You've been serving Hydra for nearly 60 years." 

***

"Sixty years?" she whispered, tightening her jacket around her body. She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them again, her face void of emotion. "The time is irrelevant details."

"Actually, it's not," Natasha stepped in and Frost looked up at her, with a look to kill. Natasha wasn't phased. Another woman entered the room, in a red jacket. "You could have family, relatives, friends that are still alive."

"My only memory is of being taken to Hydra," Frost told her firmly and Bucky winced. 

"No, it's not," Wanda, the woman in red, spoke up, looking at Frost curiously. "I'm sorry, I can't help it sometimes," she told the rest of the group who were looking at her. Her accent was heavy and Frost couldn't pinpoint it. It annoyed her that she was so clueless.

"You're looking inside my head?" Frost asked, and surprisingly her tone wasn't angry. "I don't think you want to do that," Frost warned and Bucky was ready to strike. Just in case. 

"Okay, Frost, here's the deal. You will have access to the 23rd floor only, and no kind of weaponry or training will be tolerated. You can leave the tower with either Steve, Natasha or Wanda. Maybe Bucky if you ... or not," Tony trailed off at both of their synchronised glares. "Nevermind. Steve, will you take her to her room?" Tony asked and he nodded, everyone else leaving. 

Steve gripped Frost's arm and led her out. 

"Um, I don't mind the escorting-me-thing but could not grip a healing wound?" She asked, nicely enough, and Steve let go of her arm like she'd electrocuted him. 

"Sorry, Frost, I didn't realise," he told her before taking her other arm instead. "I'll show you to your room."

***

Days past and I was getting used to the tower, well, my floor anyway. I'd borrowed clothes from the women in the tower, and Tony had graciously ordered me something that wasn't black leather. They were getting used to my presence. Bucky wasn't but I didn't like him either. 

I fell asleep, sitting upright on the sofa, still in my jacket. Comfort wasn't a norm so I had no difficulty sleeping like this. 

_I was at a table, sitting with a man and a young child. From what I could tell, we'd been married, and he was our son. A loud bang caused the child to scream, I reached for a gun that was strapped to the underside of the table. My husband, upon my command, took our son and ran out of the only exit to the dining room._

_I heard three gunshots and the child's scream._

_"Mama," he had cried out and I had to resist the urge to run straight to him and to both our deaths. I couldn't, though. A mother's calling. I just about got to the doorway when another shot rang out and his screams stopped instantly._

_I watched him shoot my son, and I aimed my gun at him and took a shot, hitting the gap in his body armour, and then he took it out of my hands and threw it away, knocking me out._

_The man with a metal arm killed my family._

And I screamed. 

***

Steve was on the floor below Frost when he heard her, heard her scream. Attack? No, she'd be able to handle it, even with no weapon. Memories, it must be, Steve decided, rushing to the elevator and urging Friday to move it faster. She did and he was cautiously approaching Frost within no time at all. 

"Frost?" he called out, trying to snap her out of her daze. She was rocking back and forth, muttering curses and unintelligible words. He could make out "Winter Soldier" and "child" and "shot" but that was it. 

"Frida, can you get the team up here?" he asked her quietly and she agreed. 

"Frost, can you hear me?" he asked her, raising his voice a little. He was standing right beside her and, mistakenly, put a hand on her shoulder. She reacted instinctively and flipped him over, using Natasha's favourite move of a thigh-lock. 

"Frost, it's me, it's Steve," he yelled and she released him instantly. He got up and sat next to her, looking at her with concern written across his face. 

"Was it a memory?" Steve asked her gently and she nodded, ever so slightly. "Can you tell me about it?" he asked and once again, she nodded. 

"The night I was taken by Buc--The Winter Soldier, I remember it all. We were sat down, having dinner-" she paused as some of the team came in. In her shaken-up state, she missed Bucky enter the room behind Thor. "- and he broke in, and I told Robert to take William and hide, um, my husband and my son, but the Soldier got there first and shot Robert first. Will was screaming and I went to him but it was too late. He knocked me out soon after, but not before I got a shot in his shoulder." Frost looked up at Steve, who was looking at Bucky. Guilt was written across Bucky's face. 

"Why the hell are you here?" Frost shouted at Bucky, who flinched. He turned to leave but Frost's quiet voice brought him back. 

"I don't blame you," she muttered, looking at the floor. Then all the emotion was gone as she smirked. "I shot you even before I was Hydra-trained." A pained smile crossed Bucky's face, for half a second before it was gone. 

"I'm sure I took you down countless time more," he slipped in. 

"Sure, Solider," Frost said without thinking and the entire room froze. "Shit, I shouldn't have said that," she muttered and Bucky left the room. "Fuck," she cried out and turned away from everyone. 

"That was progress and then I just go and fuck it up," she yelled to no-one in particular, lobbing whatever happened to be in her hand at the moment. Glass shattered against the wall. 

"Frost, calm down," Steve warned her and she breathed, unclenching her fists. 

"I fucking hate this, I can't remember anything but Buck taking me from my family and who the world leaders were in 1961! And there isn't anything I can do about it..." she slowed down, her gaze locking on Wanda. 

"You can read my mind, can you uncover these memories?" Frost asked her and she glanced at Steve who was giving her a warning glare. 

"In theory, yes, but it could send you mad," she warned. Frost weighed her options. 

"If it works then great, but I have nothing to lose," Frost states and no-one argues but Steve. 

"Your sanity? You came here wanting something, and we're trying to help you," Steve told her but she shook it off. 

"If I go insane, then shoot me. I need these memories back, Steve," Frost almost pleaded but the entire team was firmly against that possibility. 

"No, Frost, it's too dangerous," Bucky told her. He'd left the room, but returned when he heard what Wanda said. "You don't think I would have done it, if it worked? I'll work with you to uncover however we are connected, but you don't need someone poking around inside your head again." Buck's offer shocked the entire group and Frost only had her eyes on him. 

"Okay, Bucky, okay."

***

In the next couple of weeks, Bucky and I were spending time trying to uncover our shared history, but it wasn't easy. Since neither of us were any good with technology, Natasha stepped in and hacked the Hydra base we were both at and let us go over our files and the like. Tony got us a print-out of the files and we spent hours looking over them, looking for connections to each other. Little talking was done but it was comfortable. Too comfortable at times. 

"Oh my God, Frost, skip page 29 of your file, it'll be the same," Bucky warned me and I saw the look of horror in his eyes. 

"Confirmed kills, isn't it?" I asked and he nodded, pale and uneasy. "I need to know," I whisper, turning to the page. I flinch away from the red number, throwing the file across the table. 

Bucky flipped to the next page and tapped my shoulder. 

"I've found it, we worked together, on certain missions that required undercover, and _oh my God..._ " Bucky trailed off. I grabbed the file and as I read the words, a memory whizzing back into my mind. I shook my head. 

"No, fuck, tell me I'm wrong, oh my fucking God, I'm sorry, I can't," I say abruptly, leaving the room. My access had expanded but I still couldn't leave, nor was I allowed in any room with weapons. I entered the gym and sat on the floor, ignoring the warning from the voice that I wasn't allowed in here. 

I heard someone call, but I ignored them. I had my face buried in my arms. Cold shot through my body and my hand felt cold, colder than before. I sat up, stretching them out in front of me. 

"Frost!" A voice broke through my jumbled thoughts. Steve. He was coming towards me. 

"Steve, stop," I called, and he did so, instantly. 

"Have you been ... crying?" he asked me, hesitantly. I shook m head, though my lie was obvious. 

"Crying is for children," I say firmly. 

"Frost, it's fine to feel things. Memories will keep coming back and I'm afraid not many of them will be positive," Steve told me gently and I nodded. Bucky came running into the room and skidded to a halt. 

"Friday alerted me, didn't know what I was expecting," he told us, tucking his gun away. "Frost, can we talk about this?" he asked and Steve looked confused. "Steve, you don't want to hear this," Bucky warned his best friend and Steve stepped back, leaving the room, refusing to look at me. I caught a single glimpse of his expression and I read pain. 

"He's confused, but he'll be fine. He knows we're connected by Hydra and anyone with eyes can tell we're similar. But we're making progress and I understand if you can't handle knowing this about our pasts but ... " he trailed off as I actually met his eyes. 

"Do you remember ... us?" I asked quietly and he nodded. 

"Since we've been working together memories have started coming back," he confessed, his voice not giving away any hints of emotion. 

"I'm sorry I overreacted when I read the file, I wasn't expecting to read that," I tell him and he gives me a small smile. 

"I was kind of expecting that kind of reaction. Since you've been here, we've spent the entire time hating each other. We've both done shitty things for Hydra, I think it's time to let them go," Bucky says and I agree. I warily shake his hand, still not going to instantly trust him. 

"What do you remember of ... us?" I ask him and he shrugs. 

"Not a lot, bits and pieces, like I'm picking up broken glass. It's not clear but it's there."

"Could you tell me about it, see if I get anything back from it?" I ask and he sighs. "Please, Bucky, it could help," I remind him and he nods. 

"We were ... intimate when it was just us, but in front of Hydra and on missions and in training, we had to be formal, not show the attraction else they'd wipe us and/or kill us. In private, though, from what I can tell, it seemed good, like the only positive thing we could find..." Bucky trailed off, catching my expression. 

"Do you regret any of it?" I asked him, apprehensive for the answer I might get. 

"Not a damn minute of it," he whispers in my ear and I grab the back of his neck and kiss him, feeling the raw, animalistic desire behind Bucky's lips. The craving for connection. We break apart, forehead resting together and the door opens but we stay there, eyes locked with each other. I could tell more from his eyes than any words could give me. He wanted a life away from his Winter Soldier alias that would live with him forever. 

"[y/n]," I whispered and he looked confused. "I remembered my name, my real name. I'm [y/n]."

We were probably going to end up bad for the other but, at the moment, I don't care. I wanted to be Bucky's girl. Not the Winter Soldier and Frost, but Bucky and [y/n]. 


	21. Hacker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers/Banner x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: suicide

"Anthony Edward Stark!" Bruce yelled through the cool metal door of their shared lab. Tony had locked it from the inside out with passcode protection that changed hourly. Basically, anyone who tried to hack it would never get far enough in just one hour.

So he'd locked himself in. And each member of the Avengers was gradually getting more and more pissed at him. It was five days before Steve called an informal meeting to sort this out.

"We cannot break through the door, he's rigged it with some of the strongest electromagnetic locks and a ton of other reinforcements that you probably wouldn't understand," Bruce put forward and I saw Bucky's face drop slightly. All he wanted to do was smash in a door.

"His stupid codes keep changing too quickly," Steve complained and Clint just nodded.

"Plus Jarvis is totally on Tony's side. I mean, he did create him," Natasha reasoned which didn't at all help the calm all the angry tension in the room.

"In theory, someone could hack it," Clint shrugged and I rolled my eyes.

"Someone being who exactly?" Bruce asked. "Unless you happen to know a master computer hacker then we need another plan."

"Well, [y/n] could do it," Clint suggested and all eyes were suddenly on me.

"I could, in theory. But maybe Tony has a reason behind this. Ever think of that?" I try and divert all the attention everyone is giving me back to Bruce who is trying to answer my question.

"It's been too long without an explanation. He owes us that at least."

"Well then, let me get my laptop."

***

My fingers were aching to be in front of a computer, but Fury had told me when I joined the Avengers, it was for combat and not tech. This used to be my life; in college specifically. It started on a dare, then became a lot more serious when I started exploiting this skill to help people. At this time, I thought what I was doing was right. Now, I know those thoughts were false, a load of lies to make myself feel better.

I stopped when it got someone arrested and I didn't go near this kind of thing for a few months, getting into boxing instead.

I set my laptop up on the table and cringed when my background came up. I quickly logged in and ignored all the eyes staring at my screen.

"Am I doing this, yes? I'm not solely taking the blame," I say, addressing the group without looking up. I hear nothing but agreement and I begin. Bruce mirrors my screen onto the TV, just so he can try and follow my code. Everyone starts off interested but Steve and Bucky give up the quickest. It takes me three minutes to find the locks using their frequency and their use of electricity and internet in the building. Then three minutes to cover my tracks so Tony is unaware that anything has changed. This causes Bruce to laugh aloud and our eyes meet for a second.

In five more minutes, the password had been set to something continuous. So, it's not going to change in less than an hour - yay! By now, Bruce is the only one watching the screen. Everyone is lazing about on the sofas, and there are some half-empty beer bottle scattered around. I set the code to 142857 and then remove traces of my laptop being there, just to confuse Tony even further when he looks into it later.

"How did you do that?" Bruce asks, and it gets everyone's attention when I close my laptop.

"I find it easy," I say shrugging. His eyes narrow but I brush it off.

"So we can get into the lab now?" Steve asks, yawning tiredly. I smile and nod.

**-**

We came up with a plan to confuse Tony the most. It's really simple but he's not going to know what's going on. And I disabled the cameras in the living room while we were planning, just in case he was watching.

I type in the code and walk casually into the lab. Tony's so engrossed in his work that he doesn't notice me come in. Even better, I think, laughing in my head. I pause his music and he doesn't notice.

"What ya doing Tony?" I ask and begin laughing when I see him physically jump. Shock dawns on his face once he gets over the original fear. He stands, staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"How?" he questions, after probably about two minutes. I tap my nose lightly, a smile on my face.

"Secret," I say just as Bruce walks in, a victorious smile on his face.

***

We were all eating dinner together, for the first time since the Tony lab incident. His eyes were on me the entire time, still confused about how I got into the lab.

All the lights turned out, and we were left in total darkness. A message appears on the screen reading:

'For the Avengers: don't get in my way, you'll always be two steps behind my scheme.

\- Helix'

"Guys, what can we do about this? We don't even know what's going on," Clint says once the power comes back on.

"We can get Jarvis to trace back the source of the code while also checking SHIELDs database of criminals to see any that are tech-related," Stark suggests and before anyone can argue, he leaves the room and presumably heads to his lab.

Before long has passed, and we were all still standing in the kitchen, dread building up in my stomach.

"Guys, bad news time. Helix has screwed with Jarvis. Plus, we've been locked out of SHIELD since, well for a long time now. We're going to need a new plan." Tony's bombshell leaves me more worried than ever. Jarvis' programming is seriously complicated, not just anyone can rewrite or screw it up completely.

"Why don't you try something, [y/n]?" Bruce suggested and I nodded heavily. I had a feeling that whatever I founded was not going to be appreciated.

***

I set up my laptop and connected it to the screen again, this time both Bruce and Tony were interested to see what was going on.

"SHIELD first, then?" I ask and they both nod. This time, Steve and Bucky didn't even both trying to follow, I mean, Steve barely knew how to use a password, let alone something this complicated.

It was fairly simple to hack Agent Hill's access codes and use them to bypass the security. I set a search algorithm to find anyone with a criminal record linked to computer hacking, and seventeen matches came up. Which I quickly changed to sixteen. Twelve of which are now either dead or locked up. Four is workable. We can manage with four possibilities. I kept their profiles up and moved on to find the source of our power loss. Jarvis was shut down, the tower was easily hacked with their code.

The began combing through the code, familiarities setting in. The screen kept flashing red as I failed to gain access to the full code.

"No, no, no, no, shit, shit, shit ... "I kept mumbling as I recognised where I knew it from.

"What is it? You found something?" Toy asked urgently.

"I can't trace it, it can't be traced."

"Why?" he pestered and I finally gave in.

"Because I freaking wrote it."

***

I locked myself in my room, cursing my own name.

"[y/n], can I come in?" Bruce called through the door. I didn't reply since I knew my voice would crack and he slowly opened the door.

"Oh, [y/n]," he murmured, and I felt the bed dip where he sat. He was hesitant but gently he pulled me into a hug. His warm arms broke down my walls and tears began falling freely.

"I'm so sorry, Bruce, I'm so sorry," I mumbled.

"Hey, don't apologise. You didn't know this would happen, but what we can do now is focus on figuring out who's behind this, yeah?"

"Okay."

***

My nerves built as we were about to re-enter the living room. Bruce caught my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Everyone was deep in thought and they all looked up when the door opened.

"Okay, there are a few people who had the code in Uni, the three others in my computer science dorm. My boyfriend at the time saw it but he couldn't do this. I'll find out where they're all at and find the addresses. I'm probably going to need an hour, tops."

"Don't let us stop you," Steve motioned and I logged into my laptop. Everyone gradually left the room but Tony and Bruce hung behind.

I kept typing away while they talked quietly in the corner like I couldn't hear them. I could hear exactly what they were saying but my eyes widen at Tony's cruel, hypocritical words.

"She created this shit, it's her fault."

I decided to tune out of their conversation until I found the three others I was looking for.

The first guy I was looking for was straight-forward, he's making himself very known and easy to find, quite possibly incidentally since he dropped out before we graduated. He's now a lawyer; Julius Miro has now got a wife and an unborn kid 6 months along. They're naming her Sarah. It's a cute name. His computer activities are completely clean, no signs of anything wrong

Teresa was my first-year roommate and she's become more difficult to find since she works for MI6 in intelligence. I still found her profile - a fake one to begin with but her actual one twenty minutes later. Her record is totally clean, it would have to be for her level of intel on everything - some pretty dirty secrets the British are keeping under wrap.

Xavi Jadon was the final one with access, and since some pretty bad family incidents, he's removed himself totally - or tried to - from the internet, so his lack of social media connections definitely did bring me a small amount of concern. But his address has no WiFi links or even any mobiles linked back to his address. It's scary how detached a person can be from the world.

But they all came up totally clean, which left me out of ideas.

Who the hell else had access to this?

***

It was two hours before I finally gave up trying to think of anyone else, and after going through all their emails and texts from back then, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I screamed in frustration. All the Avengers re-entered the room.

"I'm getting nowhere. I went through all their communications from back then, all emails and all the texts and all I got was depressed. I can't find whoever is doing this, I'm sorry guys," I apologise, refusing to meet anyone in the eye.

"Is there anyone you missed? What about the boyfriend?" Tony brings up.

"It couldn't have been him."

"Why not?" Clint chips in.

"He got arrested back in college."

"So this magically changed his ways after he got let out? Probably not," Natasha reasoned.

"Guys, I know it wasn't him, drop it," I say, rubbing my temples gently.

"We have to explore all the possibilities, [y/n]," Tony said firmly. "Where is he now?" Tony's tone pushes me over the edge and anger blinded me. 

I grabbed my laptop and opened Chrome. I put his name into the search engine and clicked on the first article that appeared. Headline: "College boy hangs himself before sentencing for hacking the Pentagon."

I tried to keep my expression impassive, but I was angry. No-one needed to know this, to push me this far. But they did anyway.

"[y/n]..." Steve starts but my look silences him.

"No. Don't apologise, don't feel sorry for me. We need to find whoever is behind this, it's not essential right now to fuss over this. He's not behind this, that much is obvious..." The lights flickered and then blacked out, stopping me in my tracks.

"So the wonderful [y/n] [y/l/n] has joined the Avengers. Who knew? How many of you knew that she was the one who wrote the hack that landed her boyfriend Samuel Hill in prison, ultimately leading to his suicide? I'm guessing none? Well, check a little into her history before she joined SHIELD's good side, and you'll see." The voice disappeared as suddenly as it had come, and all eyes were on me. Again. But before I let anyone get a word in, I walked out of the room, out of the tower and straight into a trap.

*** 3rd Person POV ***

In the three days that [y/n] had been missing, more and more things were going wrong in the tower's technology. Even little things like the fridge messing up, to all the security codes for restricted access areas being changed. Bruce was increasingly worried - [y/n] was never one to leave without some indication of her location.

They had had no messages, but on the seventh day, they received a message.

"[y/n] is alive, but not so well. Come to this location with $10 million, and you can have her back, in one piece. Each hour you leave me waiting after 2 hours, will cost you a limb." Every member of the team received the message on their phone, as well as on whatever other screen was nearby.

"Everyone, in the hangar in ten minutes, or we leave without you," Steve yelled, through JARVIS' speakers and not a single person was left behind.

***

Bruce was beside himself with worry. You could take care of yourself, he knew that, and he also knew if he saw you hurt, it would be tricky to keep the Hulk at bay. Of course, the team had precautions but not on the quinjet. 

Tony flew into the building at the location given, and Bruce refused to be kept back but Natasha convinced him otherwise. The team were there as backup, to see how many hostiles they were dealing with and the like. 

They took positions up around the outside of the building and waited for the signal. 

***

I was tied to the chair, and there was a set of computer screens in front of me. I was running low on hope that I would make it out of here before they forced me to do something bad with these keyboards on the desk in front of me. 

There were little cuts all over my body, staining the white clothes I had been wearing when I left the tower. I was terrified, but I kept my mask on, a blank stare that unnerved the kidnappers at my emotionlessness. 

My remaining hope was pinned on the Avengers, finding me. But I didn't know if the would - I left them all angry at me for not telling them the full truth, and I still haven't. I was on SHIELD's watch list for a while, in terms of cybernetic threats, aka hackers. 

That's when I heard him. Sam's voice, right behind me. He slowly walked around until he came into full view in the dim lighting. 

"No, you're dead, you died," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. Before he could say a thing, the door burst open, and Tony, in the suit, flew in, followed by Steve and Bruce - as Bruce, not the Hulk. 

"You're gonna tell us why you kidnapped [y/n] or this rocket on my shoulder will blow you sky-high," Tony threatened, his voice sounded metallic through the suit, though I could still detect the hatred in his tone.

"Tony, don't," I plead with him and Sam looks at me, strangely. "What happened, it was all over the news, you died, killed yourself ... for something _I_ did." My words came out disconnected and choked with the tears in my throat. 

"Damnit, [y/n], don't try and make this harder than it already is," Sam muttered. 

"Don't you remember what we had?" I asked him softly and he nodded shakily. 

"Yes, but that Sam you knew died, and I was recruited by an organisation that prefered me to be legally dead rather than life imprisoned. I didn't realise you'd go and work for _them_ ," he hissed, pointing at the Avengers by the door. Bruce stepped forward but Steve laid a hand on his chest, warning him to keep his cool. 

"Sam, I'm trying to be better," I tell him honestly. "And I know you could be too. Find the old Sam, the Sam I knew and you could start over." My words seem to work and he cuts the ties on my wrists. Then pulls out a gun. 

"I can't, [y/n], I just can't," he informs me and I step back a few paces, ready to run. My mistake. "I'm sorry," he whispers and turns the gun on himself. 

"NO!" I scream, lunging for the weapon, but I'm too far away. His body crumples to the floor, the gun clattering and my scream echoes off the walls. Everyone else comes rushing in but Steve and Tony hold everyone back while Bruce comes running over, taking me in his arms. I turn away from Sam's body, pressing my face into his shirt as he whispers words of comfort and strokes my hair softly. 

Steve comes over and goes to lift Sam's body but I don't let him. I scream curses at him, everything and anything I could say to make him leave. But he doesn't and neither do any of the rest of the team. 

"Let's go, [y/n]," Bruce whispers to me and by this time I've lost all sense of both time and dignity. I nod and get up, my legs a little shaky. Tony picks up Sam's body and I look around for Steve but I just see a glimpse of his shield, leaving the room. 

"I should apologise," I mutter and Bruce nods. 

"Yeah, probably, but no one is blaming you right now. Say something later," Bruce assures me and I give him a shaky smile. He all but carries me back to the jet and I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder before we've even lifted off the ground. 

***

I wake up in my bed at the tower, with Bruce sitting at a chair beside me. 

"Hey," I whisper to him, sitting up and swinging my legs around so the side of the bed. 

"How are you?" he asked then paused. "That was a dumb question, I'm sorry," he looked away, pressing his lips together. 

"Bruce, I'm ... doing okay. I'm glad you're here but have you slept? You look really tired," I tell him, patting the spot next to me on the bed. He moves to it and I hug him, and he hugs me back. When we break apart, I kiss his cheek gently. 

"Please, Bruce, sleep. I need to find Steve and apologise, but I'll be back soon," I promise him and he lies down, his eyes slipping shut almost instantly. I hover there, for a minute, watching the peaceful look in his eyes as the weight of the Hulk drops away. I slip out of the room, closing the door behind me. 

Steve is in the kitchen and he smiles at me as I go in. 

"I'm sorry," I say immediately and his smile drops a little. 

"[y/n], it's okay, I understand," he tells me but his voice is kind of weak. 

"Steve, don't pretend, please. I'd rather you just said you're angry or disappointed or whatever rather than play the 'bitch behind each other's back' game like we're teenage girls. Please, Steve," I ask him and he nods. 

"Okay, yeah, I was annoyed, pissed off, whatever you want to call it," he tells me but his voice is still soft, kind. "And I know you reacted out of pain so I'm not holding anything against you, okay?" I nod and turn to go but he stops me. 

"[y/n], Bruce really cares about you, he was going crazy not knowing what was happening to you. You should act on it, don't wait too long," he advises me and I thank him before leaving the room, going back to Bruce. 

When I get back, he's fast asleep, and I lie down next to him, taking his hand. He stirs a little, twisting so his head is resting on my shoulder. I kiss his forehead gently and doze off, seeing Bruce in my dreams. 


	22. Tough Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dad!Stony x daughter!OC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Warnings: panic attack, shouting at a child, secrets

  
When Steve and Tony had adopted a little one year old baby girl, they were over the moon. It was what they had been wanting for such a long time now, but their demanding jobs and general number of enemies had always scared them away from the idea of being a normal family and eventually settling down one day.

Fast forward 12 years, and their girl was becoming a teenager, and was being rather distant. She may not have shared any of either of her dads DNA but she didn't need it to be like them in personality, and secretly Steve wondered if she was always going to be destined for a life like theirs, in the superhero spotlight, simply because of who she was surrounded by at all times. The only time Emma wasn't surrounded by her hero family, was when they were all on a mission, and she stayed with friends, sometimes with Bruce's girlfriend Becky or Clint's wife Laura. Even then, she couldn't really escape the life living with people who's job was danger, and running headfirst into it, for the large majority of the time.

When Emma got home from school, and neither of her dads had answered her via JARVIS when she'd called, she was worried. When she was littler, one of them would always be there, or someone else would be, to pick her up from school, help her with her homework, all that kind of thing. Now, she was left much more to her own devices. And, though freedom was what most teenagers wanted, Emma's freedom came at a cost to her dads' safety.

Emma was worried, but she knew that they had people out there to watch their backs. No, that wasn't why she was worried. Emma didn't think she was enough, and that was why she was left alone so much. She wasn't as smart as Tony, nor would she ever be. Her grades were okay, all passing but not spectacularly, and not in the scientific field. Emma loved Literature and History, all of which Tony thought were useless subjects.

And, of course, no one could ever rival with Steve's abilities. There was not a single doubt in her mind that she would never be able to keep up with Steve. I mean, he's enhanced. Emma's just... Well, Emma's just Emma. She didn't like to exercise all that much, though did play on her school netball team. Which she loved, but it wasn't the same as what her family could do. The only thing she could do was shoot, but not very well. And she blackmailed JARVIS into keeping that a secret from both her dads. They always refused to teach her, and Emma saw that as them thinking she was a lost cause already, not even worth training.

That day at school, Emma had managed to get herself in the middle of a fight. Her lab partner in chemistry was bullied, and quite badly, and Harley couldn't stand up for himself. So Emma put herself between him and the bully, landing herself in the heads office. But she used the same old excuse of 'my dads are on a mission and can't be disturbed' to get out of any sort of trouble. 

Emma did her homework once she got home, a habit she developed after she found there was not usually someone's there to encourage it. When she got into the living room, however, the elevator door opened and they both walked in, hand in hand, looking a little roughed up but nothing major.

"Hey, babygirl, how was your day?" Dad asked, leading me through to the kitchen area, when my other dad went straight for the liquor cabinet. Emma eyed him carefully and gave her response in a level tone, concealing her worry to the best of her ability.

"Yeah, okay, nothing amazing." That was the first lie of the evening. Emma's English Lit class had been amazing, but she tried not to talk about it, especially seeing as it looked like Dad had had a rough day. Sometimes, light teasing happened, and Tony was game to be messed around with a little that his only daughter would be an English Lit major, but not today. Tony was already drinking, and Steve made no move to stop him.

"What about you, how was your day?" Emma asked, as Steve walked around the kitchen, trying to find something to make for dinner. Emma guessed it had been a while since they went out grocery shopping, so there wasn't much in.

"Waffles?" Steve asked her and she nodded, waiting for him to answer her question. But it was Tony who cut off the conversation instead.

"Let's not talk about work." Emma couldn't understand why he was being so abrupt - usually, he liked to complain about Captain being controlling at work or Fury giving some dodgy orders. And he always had some sort of wisecrack to make about someone. No matter the day. Instead of trying to keep a dying conversation alive, Emma picked up the book she had been reading last, Great Expectations, for her English class, and she heard Tony scoff.

"Is there an issue, Dad?" Emma snapped, finally running out of patience. Steve looked concerned lay between the two.

"Tony," he muttered, trying to calm the storm, relatively unsuccessfully.

"Nope, no issue there, Captain," Tony retorted, not even looking at their daughter. Emma stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the book there on the table in her anger. Once she stepped out the door, she debated going back in for it, but decided against it and hurried off to her room.

Steve dropped the cutlery he had been carrying onto the worktop, letting the clatter echo around the silent room.

"What the hell was that?" Steve rounded on his husband, removing the whiskey bottle from his hands.

"She's wasting her time on this whole Literature shit," Tony yelled, his anger from the tough day fuelling his confrontational side.

"Don't take it out on me, Tony," Steve said calmly, walking over to take Tony's hand. He could always tell when this was about something else. And right now, Tony didn't care what Emma was studying. Just that it was a target for his aggression. "What's really bothering you?" Steve asked softly, and at the sound of that voice, Tony felt weaker, and his emotions were put in check.

"Oh, God, I just yelled at her, didn't I?" Tony panicked, and Steve shut him up with a soft kiss. Steve boosted Tony up to sit on the countertop and he rested his forehead against his.

"Babe, what's going on? What happened today?"

"Just in the lab, this kid got fired because of me, he didn't deserve to lose his job, he was just trying to help," Tony whispered and Steve wiped away the tears that were forming in Tony's eyes.

"What happened?"

In a sudden torment of overflowing angst, Tony spilled everything he was feeling, all of his worries about working in the SHIELD labs and how he didn't trust them and how the kids were going too far and Tony tried to get him to slow down and hide some of his work, but Fury had already found the files and Tony couldn't stop it or show the kid how to protect the files or hide them.

"Babe that's not your fault," Steve reassured him and Tony sighed.

"But me yelling at Emma is." Steve faltered a little, agreeing silently with his husband.

"Emma will understand. She knows how our jobs are," Steve told him, kissing his husband.

"Yeah but-"

"Sorry to interrupt," JARVIS broke into their conversation. 

"This had better be good, J," Tony muttered.

"I think you'll agree it is. Emma is currently in her bathroom, and she is currently throwing up, sir." JARVIS barely had time to finish his sentence before the pair of them were out the room, running to their daughter's bedroom. Emma's door was locked, but it was overridden easily by Tony however her bathroom door, as they all were, was fitted with a no-override protocol - probably not one of Tony's finest ideas.

"Emma, babygirl, let us in," Steve called anxiously through the door, and there was no response, other than Emma quietly crying, which Steve was sure Tony couldn't hear, because even for him it was barely audible. For that, at least, he was glad.

"Em, I'm so sorry," Tony called through the door, and Steve could feel Tony shaking a little beside him. Steve steeled his nerves and his worry, and grabbed Tony's hand, trying to avert a panic attack. "Let us in baby, let us help you," Tony pleaded and Steve was close to the point of trying to break down the door when he heard the door click.

Emma looked awful - and she felt worse. She didn't know what it was, and it had come over her so suddenly. Tony enveloped her in hug, and Steve took both their hands.

"Steve, will you grab Em some water?" Tony asked, his voice shaking, and Steve left, knowing Tony had a few things to say to Em.

Emma let Tony lead her to her bed, and tuck her under the covers, rifling through the cabinet drawer next to her bed to grab some anti-nausea syrup but Em shook her head.

"Dad, don't. I'll just sleep this off," Em assured him, and Tony sat on the edge of the bed, unable to keep his hands still. "Dad?" Emma asked softly, placing one of her hands over his scrabbling ones.

"I'm so sorry, baby, I didn't mean to yell. Work is just really stressful at the moment," he said, and Em retracted her hand, trying to keep from reacting visibly. Tony never looked at people when he apologised, except maybe Steve, but Emma didn't want to take the chance.

As Steve re-entered the room, he could see Emma's conflicted expression. He watched as Emma cleared her expression and hugged her dad, which made Steve feel awful. There was definitely more to this than what's happened today. It's got to be. Steve knew she was a teenager and all, but he through this had to be more than that.

Steve dropped her glass of water off, kissed Emma's forehead and watched as Tony did the same, and they left the room, to allow their daughter to get some sleep.

When the door was closed tightly behind her dads, Emma scowled.

"JARVIS, haven't we talked about calling my dads when I'm ill?"

The AI seemed to hesitate before saying: "But this was worse than usual, Miss Emma."

"I don't care, JARVIS. Don't call them, unless maybe I'm gonna die. Otherwise, just let it happen," Emma said sternly, settling into sleep at the computers assurance to comply.

In the living room, both men had lost their appetite. They were both very concerned, but Tony felt a little better than Emma seemed to forgive him.

"Tone, I don't think this was just about what happened earlier," Steve said after a couple minutes of quiet.

"No, me neither," Tony responded, leaning into Steve's chest, reassured by the steady beating of Steve's heart that never failed to calm him, and quell (or mostly just delay) panic attacks. Over the years, Steve and Tony had figured out their rhythm and what worked for each of them, and how they could help the other. Now, they were out of their territory. They shared the PTSD side of things, if not for the same reasons, but they both had zero experience of dealing with 13-year-old girls. But even teenage girls get sick, right?

The whole ordeal had exhausted them both, and, though slightly uneasily, they fell asleep on the couch, reassured by each other's presence.

***********

When Steve woke up, Tony was still peacefully sleeping leaning on his shoulder. Steve was glad; Tony never got enough sleep, so any extra hours were a blessing.

"J?" Steve asked, and the AI responded. "How's Emma?"

"Your daughter is fine, Captain. She is still asleep, though the alarms are due to go off in 20 minutes." Crap, Steve thought. It was a school day, and Steve didn't know if something like this constituted a sick day. I mean, she was sick, Steve thought, and he felt Tony stir on his chest. Steve eased his way out, and laid his husband down on the sofa, hesitating to ensure he was still asleep. He was. Good.

Steve went and checked on his sleeping daughter, but as soon as he opened the door and light splashed onto her face, she stirred, sitting up almost immediately, a little panic on her face.

"Em?" Steve asked, concerned at her expression. 

"Oh, hi Dad," she smiled, shifting in her bed. She kept her hands underneath her covers. It didn't seem natural or all that comfortable. 

"Are you gonna go to school today, or do you want the day off to rest?" Steve asked, coming over to her bedside and kneeling down. Emma felt conflicted: on the one hand, she could definitely okay this up to her advantage. But on the other hand, there was no point and she would have to get used to this. She shook her head, and went to get up and go to the bathroom, a feeling of dread building in her stomach.

"Dad, I don't wanna be rude," Emma started, shifting in her bed again. "But do you mind giving me a minute? It's just that I need the bathroom and I'm not wearing anything under-" she trailed off and Steve's eyes went wide and he nodded, getting up and shutting the door carefully behind him. As soon as he left she fled to the bathroom, hoping she hadn't made too much of a mess. She should've known the signs; this wasn't exactly Emma's first period.

Of course, her dads didn't know. Steve was too awkward with girls, even his daughter and Tony, well, Tony is Tony. Most of the avengers were men, and Emma couldn't bring herself to ask Natasha purely because she knew some of what had happened to her in the red room. She wouldn't dare to bring up something that would trigger such horrid memories.

She wasn't confident to ask either Becky or Laura; she would've asked Jane but she and Thor weren't exactly together any more. That would be awkward.

So, she dealt with it herself. Snuck off after school to the drugstore for supplies and tried to conceal her pains and PMS as much as she could. She almost wished either of her dads would notice something but she was convinced they didn't even know what teenage girls went through. Admittedly, her older dad grew up in a time when it wouldn't have been acceptable for him to know really about it, and Tony only cared about the female anatomy when it was fuckable. And even that was a long time ago.

At breakfast, that morning, both her dads were looking at her with concern. She tried to hide her cramps as best she could, but it wasn't like she could get a hot water bottle subtly in May. It wasn't cold. Her dads were having a silent conversation with their eyes, occasionally sneaking glances at her.

"Emmy, you good to go to school?" Tony asked and she nodded, finally reaching her limit on keeping secrets.

"God, Dad it's not like I'm dying. It's just a period," Emma snapped and both her dads froze. She sighed. She hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Steve asked softly, after a long pause.

"Does it matter?" Emma responded in a similar tone. "Dad this is just something I'm gonna have to deal with for a long time. I just want to get on with it," she added, glancing nervously at her other dad, slightly concerned because of his silence. She looked at him, and he wouldn't meet her eyes. "I'm gonna grab my school bag," she muttered, leaving a half-eaten breakfast still on the table. A silence stretched between the husbands and Tony ditched a half-finished mug of coffee in the sink.

"Tony," Steve called, in his Captain voice when Tony went to leave the room, still in silence. Tony didn't stop, and left the room, hurting Steve in the process. He'd already hurt Emma by leaving her in confusion and now Steve because he couldn't process as quickly as he did. Of course, Tony knew this would happen at some point. He did take biology at some point, and had done sex education at some point. Girls get periods, and boobs and become hormonal. Boys get wet dreams and facial hair and voice breaks.

But his baby girl? He thought he had a little more time with her before he lost her, but teenage years were a slippery slope, and he didn't even know how long she'd been having them. Emma called through saying goodbye, and that her friends were here and they'd walk to school from here. Words got stuck in Tony's throat as he was hit by a wave of emotion, his next thought being _oh God no_.

He stumbled his way through to the living room, collapsing on the sofa, struggling to keep his breathing steady. He needed Steve.

"JARVIS," he wheezed between panicked breaths, "call Steve."

The next few minutes were blurry, and Steve was by his side the entire time, even if he was still a little upset with Tony's handling of their conversation with Emma. When Tony got his breathing back to normal, and the pounding in his chest reduced to regular levels, he apologised to Steve.

"Tony, is it this scaring you?" Steve asked gently, putting the pieces together. "Emma growing up, I mean," he clarified at Tony confusion. He nodded gently and Steve lifted his chin up and kissed him softly.

"Babe, we have just got to make the most of having her at home. But also, we need to make sure she feels like she can talk to us about anything. I know she's got female influences in her life - Nat, Laura, Becky, Pepper - but we don't know how long she has been dealing with this herself alone," Steve said, injecting his voice with calm. Tony face changed a little a while after they'd been speaking, morphing into a small amount of annoyance.

"J, did you know about this?"

"Yes sir, Miss Emma asked me specifically not to mention her symptoms to you and Captain Rogers." And as if Jarvis was predicting the next question to be asked he continued: "Her first cycle was 11 months ago and she has experienced almost identical symptoms each month, though vomiting has been slightly less frequent, only 7 out of the 11 months."

Steve and Tony's faces were pictures of horror. Their daughter had been through this 11 times and they were only just noticing.

"How do we make this right?" Tony asked, and the two men got their heads together and started to think of ways they could make this up to their daughter.

*****

When Emma got home from school, all she wanted was a hot water bottle for her cramps and chocolate. And lots of the latter. She had a stash in her room so made her way there straight away, not expecting to be ambushed by her dads in the corridor.

"Emmy, I'm so sorry I didn't say anything this morning," Tony rushed out, words leaving his mouth at a hundred miles per hour. "But you should've told us. I - we never wanted to make you feel like you couldn't talk to us about this kind of thing." Steve nodded, and Emma didn't know if it was just the hormones, but she was on the verge of tears. She pulled both her dads into a hug and tried unsuccessfully to hold in a cry of pain as her uterus tried to kill itself again today. Both her dads looked alarmed and their faces showed her that all she had to do was ask.

"Why don't you go get some rest, Emmy? What helps? What can we do?" Steve asked and Emma smiled gratefully.

"A hot water bottle, please, and then could you both come into my room? I'd like to talk if you're not busy," Emma asked, somewhat shyly. She wasn't used to asking to take her up dads' valuable time.

"Of course, Emmy, of course," Tony responded, kissing her forehead and heading off to the kitchen. Before Emma could take a step, Steve had scooped Emma up, causing her to giggle. She leaned into his chest, feeling like a little kid again. She instantly felt a bit more relaxed, feeling safe in the strong arms of her dad.

"I've missed this," Em whispered as they entered her room.

"Missed what, Emmy?" Steve asked, lying her in her bed.

"Being close with you and dad. I hated lying to you and pretending all the time," Emma said honestly, looking around her room, taking in what had changed since this morning. For a start, there was a massive stash of chocolate on her desk and then, on the dresser by her bathroom door were two reusable Walmart bags full. From her bed, she couldn't see what was in them, but when she got a little closer, she fell about laughing.

"Jesus dad, did you buy half the aisle?" She laughed, seeing the bags were filled with all sorts of period products, of all different brands and heaviness.

"Look, blame your other dad for that. I told him just to look at what you usually buy," he laughed, just as Tony returned with the hot water bottle.

"Hey, what are you blaming me for?" Tony asked and Emma simply pointed at the two bags and he shrugged. "Touché."

"Dads, thank you," Emma said as she crawled into bed, Tony sitting next to her and Steve on the end facing back toward them.

"Admittedly we had help," Tony says and he feels Emma tense immediately. "What? Emmy, you good?"

"Who did you ask?"

"Well, I asked Pep, which was quite funny to be fair, and Steve talked to Natasha..." Tony trailed off as Emma slumped against the headboard in annoyance.

"Why would you do that to her? God, after all she's been through," Emma moaned quietly, and both her dads looked blank. "The red room sterilised Nat; that's just gonna have brought up horrible memories for her," Emma explained, burying her head under a pillow. Steve's face fell in realisation of her stiff body language and hesitance when he asked any questions.

"Lemme go talk to her," Emma said, struggling to get up. Tony just pushed her back down.

"Emmy, no. You know Nat, she won't let anyone near her now. Let Clint help her," Tony reasoned, and his daughter agreed, falling uneasily back down. A silence stretched out, and Emma was just waiting for them to ask the question she knew was burning on their tongues.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Steve asked finally and Emma almost smiled.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, dad, I know what the attitudes were like towards things like this back in your day," Emma said, looking at Steve straight in the eye. Steve sighed, knowing she was right about that much, but he knew he'd acclimatised quickly to life in the 21st century. How different would this be?

"And, Dad," Emma said, turning around to face Tony, "well, I think everyone's seen the old Tony Stark playboy articles and whatever. I just- well there's a certain stereotype associated with that," Emma told him honestly as she could, unable to keep eye contact. With her words, she felt Steve tense.

"Baby, we just want you to be able to feel like you can trust us, with anything, okay?" Tony said, immediately dismissing the stereotype.

"I second that," Steve added.

"And I third it," JARVIS added and Emma rolled her eyes.

"So, how about we break into some of that chocolate and introduce your dad to Mean Girls?" Tony laughed and Emma shifted over so Steve could sit on her other side. It eased all the tension, and for the first time in 11 months, Emma felt like she was complete and close to her family.

***


End file.
